Venkman Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Hi folks, any advice on my current dilemma would be greatly received About a month ago I started dated a girl I met on a night out, she seemed really keen and we seemed to hit it off from the get go. We carried on dating and I began to really like her, we laughed and joked together, we were intimate with each other and things seemed to be moving in the right direction and I was feeling good about things. We spent the day together last Saturday and we had a fantastic day together, went the zoo, she cooked tea and we watched films cuddled up on the couch all night. The next couple of days after I noticed she was a bit more distant, she didn't text as frequent and when she did they were just generic niceties. On Tuesday I text asking how her day was and she replied saying..she had enjoyed spending time with me but she hadn't been completely honest, she had just got out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready for anything right now and that we should stop seeing each other as she didn't think we could stop what we had and just be friends. I'm a bit gutted as we seemed to get on really well and she always said how much she was looking forward to seeing me, I appreciate she might now be ready for anything and I'd never want rush her or guilt trip her for not being ready. I've text her saying I know she's not ready for anything but if she ever is then look me and who knows, I don't know if that was a good idea or not. I really like this girl and I thought she liked me and I hate thinking I'm missing out on something potentially good due to bad timing, I've not heard off her since she called it a day. Has anyone had a similar experience, and do peeps think I just need move on? I do feel like a bit of a rebound guy which sucks as I thought there was a mutual attraction. Do you guys think it might be worth texting or trying make contact in a couple of months or so? I'm obviously not going put my life on hold waiting for her but I'd like to think that the door could still be open. Thanks for reading if you made it this far it got a lot wordier than I though
whichwayisup Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 she had enjoyed spending time with me but she hadn't been completely honest, she had just got out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready for anything right now and that we should stop seeing each other as she didn't think we could stop what we had and just be friends. Translation: "I'm still into my ex, we are on/off again." She likes you, enjoys your company but her heart is still with her ex. You did nothing wrong here. Don't wait for her, find someone else.
SycamoreCircle Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 This made me smile: "She cooked tea." Anyway, OP, as someone who is still hurting from a terrible break up that happened one year ago, I can understand where she's coming from. Whether on not she is still in contact with her ex, the love is still there. It is so hard to let go. It is so hard to dilute the memories and intimacy. It is exactly as you said, bad timing. You did nothing wrong. And nothing you do could change her feelings. There is no sense in sticking around. Chalk it up to a tough lesson. Never involve yourself with someone just out of a relationship if you're looking for something serious and lasting.
preraph Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Don't sit around hoping. It could be just a gentle way to break off with you with no basis in truth. Or like others said, she could be hung up on her ex. Or she could have compared how she had felt with him and decided she just wasn't feeling it.
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