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Posted

Me and my ex boyfriend are trying to work things out. We've already had a long distance relationship ( im in SC, hes in NC) since last summer. We broke up because of trust issues (still intimate while broken up) and now we're trying to work things out. We both love eachother but we're trying to build a stronger foundation before we jump into another relationship.

 

 

He's getting out the military next month and will be moving back 'home' to south Carolina. About 45 minutes from where I live. He'll be here all summer and then hes leaving for motorcycle school in Orlando in August. He says he can be loyal to me and I know I can be loyal to him but 2 years is a long time. Orlando is about 6 hours from here. I know I sound insecure when I say this but, theres a lot of beautiful women in Florida. He'll be home for holidays and stuff and Ill go visit every few months but still....Like I said we were already in a long distance relationship but he was only an hour and a half away, now hes coming HOME (YAY) ...I think this summer we can strengthen our bond but when he leaves idk what to do. I know he can be loyal to me and vice versa but i dont want things to change.

 

Hes been married before...and he's been in the military for 10 years so hes familiar with 'long distance' relationships.

 

..Does anyone think a long distance relationship of 2 years will work ?

Posted

My suggestion - stay friends, date others. If you're still interested in each other in 2 years, get back together then. Most likely, you'll both find someone better suited and move on, and won't have wasted 2 years waiting, only to find out later that it probably won't work. Besides, the temptations will be too great for one or both of you during this time, so you may as well agree to date others and see where things are when you get back together.

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Posted

Maybe you can both be 'loyal' to each other while apart for 2 years, but that's not going to help you build a relationship, and it's certainly not going to help you figure out if you both actually enjoy being life partners with daily interaction in the future.

 

2 years - he'll be in school and exploring a new place (central Florida) - and what will you be doing with yourself?

 

If he doesn't grow into a different person during that time (and if you don't), I'd be surprised and disappointed. That should be a time of growth, and if you're not interested/willing/able to move with him now then I don't see why you guys would have a good foundation for a longer relationship later.

 

Please don't kid yourself about this. If he's in mechanics school in Florida, he'll be making connections in Florida for work in Florida once he graduates.

 

You're not in a working relationship now - this doesn't even seem like a realistic situation for you to consider.

 

I'd suggest you think about what You would like to do with Your life in the next 2 to 4 years and get started on that. A relationship won't build your whole life into something magical, or even something liveable. You should plan and build your own life first, and then start a relationship with someone who is excited (and able) to be part of Your Life.

 

That's my two cents anyway.

 

Best Wishes,

Sunlight

Posted

Two years with lots of opportunities for him to come home & maybe some for you to go there is workable for many people. That said I don't think it's workable for you.

 

LDRs require huge amounts of trust. That is trust you don't have.

 

You couldn't make this work in a healthy manner while he was 1.5 hours away . . . tripling that distance is going to make you nuts. In turn you will be suspicious & you will make him nuts.

Posted
Me and my ex boyfriend are trying to work things out.
He's your ex for a reason, never forget about that.

 

We broke up because of trust issues (still intimate while broken up)
Let me spell it out for you: friends with benefits?

 

and now we're trying to work things out
Like, how? Who's not enjoying the current state of things?

 

We both love eachother but we're trying to build a stronger foundation before we jump into another relationship
Again, how do you build a stronger foundation being broken up with someone? And furthermore, how do you build a stronger foundation being broken up with someone and having sex with them in the meantime?

 

theres a lot of beautiful women in Florida.
There can be lots of beautiful women in many other places too.

 

now hes coming HOME (YAY) ...I think this summer we can strengthen our bond but when he leaves idk what to do.
So you want to go on with him as FwB, or as a temporary Summer girlfriend?

 

I know he can be loyal to me and vice versa but i dont want things to change.
This is the missing clue. You don't want things to change. He's your ex. You want him to remain that.

 

Does anyone think a long distance relationship of 2 years will work ?
I do, but I'm not sure it'd work for you.
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