xingyi Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Say you and a guy agree to meet, set a date but he does not tell you the time and tells you that he will let you know the time on that day. Will you be upset about it? I would think that I am just a plan b and not decide to meet him Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Yeah, I wouldn't roll with that. You have to be a priority not clearing up all your day and waiting for him to decide when he can give you a couple of hours. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I would be pissed that he expects me to sit around and wait for his call like I have nothing better to do. Like he is the center of the universe. Damn right its rude and he's completely self centered. I would absolutely not date this person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 IMO, it's about style. Some people are 'whatever' style for social interactions and other people are rote planners and everything in between. If styles don't match up, then interactions don't occur. At my age, with thousands of interactions, I've moved away from concrete planning and sticking to precise details like glue to more of a 'whatever happens, happens'. I still think setting up concrete 'dates' is a good thing but I don't count on people to be like-minded as a prerequisite for being 'good'. My mantra is that there's always something else to do and a varied social life provides that. If one situation doesn't work out, there's always others. In the long run, no specific interaction makes a life and I certainly can't control what other people do. That said, when I'm interested in a lady and ask her out, I am specific and, if she agrees, I show up as agreed because that's my style. This guy is who he is. Time will tell if that's who may be compatible with you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I would probably say I can't run my life like that. When you pick a time in advance, let me know. I'll let you know if I'm free. After a statement like that I would expect to never hear from him again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Say you and a guy agree to meet, set a date but he does not tell you the time and tells you that he will let you know the time on that day. Will you be upset about it? I would think that I am just a plan b and not decide to meet him I wouldn't say it's rude, but I would say it's sketchy. If a man did that with me, I'd say yes I'm available that day but only before or after X time and I need to know the night before in order to keep that slot available. I'd give him til that night to nail it down or if it's very late, tell him I need to know by early the next morning. If he couldn't or didn't do that, I'd move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xingyi Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Thanks for all the responses. This guy is a weirdo. He is very selfish, disrespectful and cheap.I smelled this at the beginning. I have told him many times not to contact me again, but he still kept texting me. He begged me to meet again him every time, after I agreed to meet him, he would either blow me off or not tell the time, he would be like" I will tell you the time tomorrow." Not sure what is in that guy's mind, maybe he enjoyed setting up a date and blowing it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Thanks for all the responses. This guy is a weirdo. He is very selfish, disrespectful and cheap.I smelled this at the beginning. I have told him many times not to contact me again, but he still kept texting me. He begged me to meet again him every time, after I agreed to meet him, he would either blow me off or not tell the time, he would be like" I will tell you the time tomorrow." Not sure what is in that guy's mind, maybe he enjoyed setting up a date and blowing it off. This guy is likely a serial dater. "He is very selfish, disrespectful and cheap". He likely doesn't often get a chance to have a relationship yet keeps at least trying to get dates. He likes the chase and when he gets the prize, he doesn't know what do with it. He is likely very unsuccessful in getting a relationship to develop because he can't maintain it on that level. It boosts his ego to be able to get a date. You refused him a number of times and then finally gave in. He liked that he finally wore you down, but couldn't close the deal on his end because he knows it won't go further. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xingyi Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 This guy is likely a serial dater. "He is very selfish, disrespectful and cheap". He likely doesn't often get a chance to have a relationship yet keeps at least trying to get dates. He likes the chase and when he gets the prize, he doesn't know what do with it. He is likely very unsuccessful in getting a relationship to develop because he can't maintain it on that level. It boosts his ego to be able to get a date. You refused him a number of times and then finally gave in. He liked that he finally wore you down, but couldn't close the deal on his end because he knows it won't go further. Yeah. I said the same thing to him that he just liked the chase and wanted me to give in, then he was done. He was sick. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 He's essentially telling you that you're a back up plan. By leaving things open ended, he can have you on the hook if his other choice backs out. Then if she doesn't, he can back out on you because plans were never set in stone. NEVER accept a date from a guy unless he locks down specific plans with you in advance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 He's essentially telling you that you're a back up plan. By leaving things open ended, he can have you on the hook if his other choice backs out. Then if she doesn't, he can back out on you because plans were never set in stone. NEVER accept a date from a guy unless he locks down specific plans with you in advance. - Absolutely. If the guy gets off the phone with you and you don't have a time and day, you may think you have a date (place could be a surprise), but don't count on it, you probably don't. Here is the rule: If you don't have time and day, you don't have a date. Link to post Share on other sites
SteelPanther Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I recently had a date where after the date the woman proposed seeing me again on Thursday and had a time etc...but needed to sort out a place and that she'd txt me back. Well, she didn't end up txtn me nor responding back at all to me so I guess it was her way of letting me go. If a person is really into you, I think the two of you should be able to sort out a second date/hang out in person instead of them giving lame reasons like I'll get back to you which normally means you're second best to their other plans. Nobody is THAT busy that they cannot make time for someone they truly like. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I NEVER make plans at the end of a first date/meet. Putting someone on the spot like that shows major needy behavior. It's like you're trying to lock the person down because you don't usually date that much. Why not have the date, give the person a few days to process, and then follow up to make plans then? Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Not good enough. Need to know when as I have a life to organise around it Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Thanks for all the responses. This guy is a weirdo. He is very selfish, disrespectful and cheap.I smelled this at the beginning. I have told him many times not to contact me again, but he still kept texting me. He begged me to meet again him every time, after I agreed to meet him, he would either blow me off or not tell the time, he would be like" I will tell you the time tomorrow." Not sure what is in that guy's mind, maybe he enjoyed setting up a date and blowing it off. So you're calling him a bunch of names, but still agreeing to dates with him? If he really is a selfish, disrespectful and cheap weirdo, then why do you continue to let this go on? He keeps texting you because even though you tell him not to contact you again, you obviously don't mean what you say, or you are unable to stick to it. You've been blown off multiple times, and it's to the point that you're making threads about this guy on the internet, calling him names and letting everyone know how terrible he is. Time to stand by what you say and actually stick to it this time. If he has been this way from the start as you say, yet you still continue to accept dates from him, then you have no one to blame for your current frustrations but yourself. The solution here is simple. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Why not have the date, give the person a few days to process, and then follow up to make plans then? Because everyone isn't the same, to some people it isn't "needy" to ask someone out at the end of the first date, in fact, some people recommend it. Some people don't need to "process" anything if the first date went well. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I'm a bit awkward , even on the best dates ever "we should do this again some time" freaks me out haha. I do need time to reflect before going for the 2nd date Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I'm a bit awkward , even on the best dates ever "we should do this again some time" freaks me out haha. I do need time to reflect before going for the 2nd date Well, that's you..then. No need to fault the guy for saying, "we should do this again sometime." I mean, it's not like he's nailed to a specific time and place. Link to post Share on other sites
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