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The theory that single people are gay. Where did it come from?

E-Squared

By E-Squared
in General Relationship Discussion

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E-Squared Established Member

E-Squared

Posted
Posted

Seriously, for years, I have wondered where this whole thing came from. You have heard it before, trust me. When you see some guy who is not in relationship or dating around, some people suspect that he may be in the closet. It's the same thing with women, and how they are suspected to be in the closet just because she is not in a relationship or dating around.

 

I have been told been told by some people that I am gay just because I don't express in actively pursuing women. The truth is I don't feel like I have to go after every woman I see. Not that guys literally do that, but I see attractive women everywhere I go, but I am not attracted to them. Also, if I were gay, then I would have felt an attraction to a guy, and I have never felt any sexual attraction to a guy before.

 

Truth be told, gay people date and have sex, so it's not like just because someone is single then the person has to be gay.

 

So I just want to know. Why do people assume someone is gay just because he/she is single? Where did these assumptions come from?

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

You're looking for a logical reason, for a totally illogical and irrational conclusion.

 

I don't think you'll find one. People assume you're gay because you don't have a girlfriend. Gay guys don't have girlfriends, and you don't have a girlfriend, therefore you must be gay. Yes it's like saying carrots are orange and the sun is orange therefore the sun is a carrot, but I did say it's illogical.

  • Like 1
badpenny Established Member

badpenny

Posted
Posted

From people who are in relationships and can't get their heads round the fact you're not.

 

Ask them if they're happy in their relationships? All the time?

Do they do what they want, whenever they want, as they want?

Can they just up sticks and go away for the weekend, alone?

Can they stay in bed until 11.00 on a Saturday, eat chips, pot-noodles and watch TV like a slob, if they want to?

Do they get to watch what they want, when they want, eat when they want, go wherever they want, wear what they want, without consulting anyone else, checking on plans, finding a sitter for the kids?

Afford a new car, buy a new tv, new CDs...?

No?

So tell me, what's so great about being in a relationship/being married, again...?

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E-Squared Established Member

E-Squared

Posted
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Posted

What sort of applies to this topic is that in the past, I had been given grief about why I am never dating anybody. Hell, I got some of this grief from a coworker who is about two decades older than I am. Turned out later on she was a shady ***** who tried to use me for something unrelated, but she tried to make me feel guilty for not making a move on some girl who, at the time, liked me, though I only went along with it, only to realize that I was not interested in her. Get this, this is a woman who has four kids, but they were from different fathers.

badpenny Established Member

badpenny

Posted
Posted
What sort of applies to this topic is that in the past, I had been given grief about why I am never dating anybody. Hell, I got some of this grief from a coworker who is about two decades older than I am. Turned out later on she was a shady ***** who tried to use me for something unrelated, but she tried to make me feel guilty for not making a move on some girl who, at the time, liked me, though I only went along with it, only to realize that I was not interested in her. Get this, this is a woman who has four kids, but they were from different fathers.

Oh she must be living a wonderful life....! :rolleyes:

 

Jealousy, probably....?

 

"Why the hell aren't you in a complicated, exhausting, dumb stupid situation like I am? Why should you have all the fun and get off scot free?"

 

maybe you remind her of the kids' fathers, who may have absconded, shirked their responsibility, disappeared and done a runner, leaving her quite literally holding the babies.

She may be reminded of their freedom , when she sees you single and care-free (in her eyes)....

TexasMan68 Established Member

TexasMan68

Posted
Posted

I think a lot of it has to do with this world being so tolerant of everything these days. Heterosexuals are constantly bombarded with the gay agenda in the media, on TV...the list goes on and on and on. it would be nice to turn the clock back when everyone was still in the closet. This should piss off quite a few people but I'm not here to make friends. This country is going down a path that it can't turn back from.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
I think a lot of it has to do with this world being so tolerant of everything these days. Heterosexuals are constantly bombarded with the gay agenda in the media, on TV...the list goes on and on and on. it would be nice to turn the clock back when everyone was still in the closet. This should piss off quite a few people but I'm not here to make friends. This country is going down a path that it can't turn back from.

 

Actually, saying that if you are single you must be gay is kinda the opposite of this. It's quite an ignorant comment that shows no understanding of single people OR gay people.

 

As far as turning the clock back to when everyone was in the closet...that's really what you want? Men marrying and pretending to be good husbands while their wives are wondering what is wrong with them?

 

It's not as if being in the closet means there are no gay people around. They still existed...living a lie just hurt them AND others. Truth and honesty is much better.

  • Like 3
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

I'm old enough to have seen this pattern a lot before people felt comfortable coming out as gay. People who avoided talking about dating and relationships at all, not because they don't do it, but because they dated the same gender and didn't want family or coworkers to know. Maybe it's a sign of my age that it makes a lot of sense to me (just because I've seen it so often).

 

Thank goodness the whole "closet" issue is much less nowadays. But the closet was real not so long ago.

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted (edited)
What sort of applies to this topic is that in the past, I had been given grief about why I am never dating anybody. Hell, I got some of this grief from a coworker who is about two decades older than I am. Turned out later on she was a shady ***** who tried to use me for something unrelated, but she tried to make me feel guilty for not making a move on some girl who, at the time, liked me, though I only went along with it, only to realize that I was not interested in her. Get this, this is a woman who has four kids, but they were from different fathers.

 

Is the one with 4 kids from 4 different men the one you were being set up with or the one who is calling you gay from not chasing the single mom?

Sheesh, either way. If she is 4 dad single mom obviously she is the sort that needs to be in a relationship or have a child to find meaning in her life, so much so that she likely finds a new guy within a week to hookup with...she gets pregnant at some point (maybe accident maybe not) and they just saw her as casual, and scoot. From her perspective its probably really easy to find a guy, but obviously keeping them is a different story.

 

I know some women and some guys like this, who have been single no longer a week or two at most between partners. Its crazy imo,as they jump on the first person who wants to **** them regardless if they would be a good long term bet. If you looked like a young Rock Hudson (secretly gay actor until near his death), then its understandable that quite a few people are going to wonder whats up, as you should have lots of options, but if you are not attractive then its a different story. Trouble is lots of people will still think you should be happy to get serious with an unattractive woman. If you are unattractive then you can't say like for like is not invalid, but reality is you want to lust for your gf. People who have settled for their partner or who were desperate & depressed when single or are now in stable but not passionate relationships, wont understand why you are single and holding out for a sexy (in your eyes) gf rather than just find any woman (even if she desperate) who wants a bf.

Edited by ascendotum
almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted
I think a lot of it has to do with this world being so tolerant of everything these days. Heterosexuals are constantly bombarded with the gay agenda in the media, on TV...the list goes on and on and on. it would be nice to turn the clock back when everyone was still in the closet. This should piss off quite a few people but I'm not here to make friends. This country is going down a path that it can't turn back from.

 

I've seen dog poo that's more attractive than your attitude.

 

 

Ew.

  • Like 1
Stillits Established Member

Stillits

Posted
Posted

Haha I was surprised when a couple of people (family members even!!) asked if I was lesbian since it's been 3 years since I dated or had a boyfriend.

 

I reckon it's because social constructs dictate that humans are best off paired and that they cannot be happy and fullfilled without being in a relationship with someone. If you are not clearly dating or seeing anyone, people start assuming a whole lot of things, and one of them happens to be whether you are a homosexual and ashamed of it or something. Sometimes it seems as though being single is a 'disease' or something.

 

Just brush it off and do whatever you feel is right for you.

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E-Squared Established Member

E-Squared

Posted
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Posted
Is the one with 4 kids from 4 different men the one you were being set up with or the one who is calling you gay from not chasing the single mom?

Sheesh, either way. If she is 4 dad single mom obviously she is the sort that needs to be in a relationship or have a child to find meaning in her life, so much so that she likely finds a new guy within a week to hookup with...she gets pregnant at some point (maybe accident maybe not) and they just saw her as casual, and scoot. From her perspective its probably really easy to find a guy, but obviously keeping them is a different story.

 

I know some women and some guys like this, who have been single no longer a week or two at most between partners. Its crazy imo,as they jump on the first person who wants to **** them regardless if they would be a good long term bet. If you looked like a young Rock Hudson (secretly gay actor until near his death), then its understandable that quite a few people are going to wonder whats up, as you should have lots of options, but if you are not attractive then its a different story. Trouble is lots of people will still think you should be happy to get serious with an unattractive woman. If you are unattractive then you can't say like for like is not invalid, but reality is you want to lust for your gf. People who have settled for their partner or who were desperate & depressed when single or are now in stable but not passionate relationships, wont understand why you are single and holding out for a sexy (in your eyes) gf rather than just find any woman (even if she desperate) who wants a bf.

 

Let me clarify this. My then-coworker is actually the single mother of four, but at some point, we started talking socially and I told her about this girl who I briefly "dated," the same one who I wasn't really into. She didn't call me gay, but she did give me crap how I didn't try making a move on her when I went back to her house. All we did was just hang out and talk. That's it.

  • 2 weeks later...
Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

This only really applies to attractive people in my experience

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