mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 To be honest, I don't think it's love. I think it's an unhealthy and dysfunctional attachment. Its co-dependence... 1
Author lovesickpuppy Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 It was really upsetting reading these comments. I'd like to think I know my boyfriend a bit better than that, that he wouldn't just want me back because I'm an easy option. I believe we do have a deep connection, but I guess that's what everyone likes to believe about themselves and their SO. This will be my final chance I give him. And this time it will be different. The second time we got back together we didn't even address what happened between us, we were just back together and everything went on as if we'd never split. This time I want to address the issues, make this work and stay together. I'm being advised against this by everyone, but my love for this guy can't let this go that easily. If it doesn't work out which im determined that won't be the case, then I'll be back. I've got faith, I'm not silly, I learnt my lesson this time round. I'll stand up for my self and stop being such a push over. 1
lumberjac Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Fair enough if you really love him that much and want to get back together. But does it not make more sense to address the issues first, spend some time apart on both sides, then get back together if you still want to? 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 It was really upsetting reading these comments. I'd like to think I know my boyfriend a bit better than that, that he wouldn't just want me back because I'm an easy option. I believe we do have a deep connection, but I guess that's what everyone likes to believe about themselves and their SO. This will be my final chance I give him. And this time it will be different. The second time we got back together we didn't even address what happened between us, we were just back together and everything went on as if we'd never split. This time I want to address the issues, make this work and stay together. I'm being advised against this by everyone, but my love for this guy can't let this go that easily. If it doesn't work out which im determined that won't be the case, then I'll be back. I've got faith, I'm not silly, I learnt my lesson this time round. I'll stand up for my self and stop being such a push over. It's not going to work because you are doing this ass backwards. You need to work on the issues first before ever even considering getting back together. It's not going to happen while you're together, you are going to go right back to the same crappy pattern you were in. There's no reason for him to change, he can break up with you and get you to take him back whenever he wants. You're in a breakup-makeup cycle. You've been on this ride before, you know how it will end, yet you're doing it anyway. Best of luck, because you are going to need it. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Your intentions are quite clear. It's his intentions that are suspect. And try as you might, you can't control those. Only he can. What you can control is whether or not you wan to continue to be a part of his nonsense... 1
mightycpa Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 This was popular in 1973: Break up to make up, that's all we do First you love me then you hate me That's a game for fools
BC1980 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 It was really upsetting reading these comments. I'd like to think I know my boyfriend a bit better than that, that he wouldn't just want me back because I'm an easy option. I believe we do have a deep connection, but I guess that's what everyone likes to believe about themselves and their SO. This will be my final chance I give him. And this time it will be different. The second time we got back together we didn't even address what happened between us, we were just back together and everything went on as if we'd never split. This time I want to address the issues, make this work and stay together. I'm being advised against this by everyone, but my love for this guy can't let this go that easily. If it doesn't work out which im determined that won't be the case, then I'll be back. I've got faith, I'm not silly, I learnt my lesson this time round. I'll stand up for my self and stop being such a push over. Here's the thing. You project what you feel onto your boyfriend. You say you have a deep connection, and you hope he's not using you as an easy option. You say that because you would never do that to him, but his actions prove otherwise. This is such a common mistake that people make. They assume that their feelings are exactly the same as their partner's feelings, but it just doesn't work like that. I'm not saying your BF is malicious with his intent or that he's sitting around laughing at you and scheming some huge plan. I doubt he's even emotionally mature enough to think that deeply. I'm just saying that he sounds like a lazy opportunist who doesn't really take your considerations into account. I think he lives in the moment, and, once he decides he doesn't want you anymore, he will leave again. His feelings change like the weather, and it's not wise to invest in those types of people. They don't tend to be very introspective and are very impulsive. You say you are determined that it will work out, but you can't control that. You can control yourself, but you are only part of the equation. The irony is that he is in the driver's seat and has complete control with minimal effort. You are in control of nothing because you have no bottom line and no conditions upon which you would leave him or not take him back for another round of this. I recommend that you stop wasting time with this guy because you can't get those years back.
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