DatingDirection Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 This is awesome, creative and interesting. I wish more men would have this mindset! . Being cheap is always a turn off for me, subway for a romantic dinner. id rather the guy just buy groceries and cook a meal together. it's not really what we do it's how we do it, for example, fine subway for dinner, but get it to go and sit in the park with a bottle of wine. that's sweet and fun. but to be overly cheap, and take a women to subway, or free pool, just states, you don't really care about being cute, you just care whether you will grow enough on that person, to sleep with her. ew. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 (edited) Being cheap is always a turn off for me, subway for a romantic dinner. id rather the guy just buy groceries and cook a meal together. it's not really what we do it's how we do it, for example, fine subway for dinner, but get it to go and sit in the park with a bottle of wine. that's sweet and fun. but to be overly cheap, and take a women to subway, or free pool, just states, you don't really care about being cute, you just care whether you will grow enough on that person, to sleep with her. ew. Hmm.. Thought I was pretty clear when I said that I was picking us up Subway sandwiches to have during a sunset picnic in the park. But I guess I need to make it clear once again. I found out from her what she likes on her sandwich, so I am picking the food up on the way to her place, and then driving us to the location for the picnic where we'll eat outside, and enjoy a nice sunset together. When you have a picnic, sandwiches are ideal. It's not like you're going to have a five course meal outside. I'm almost insulted that you'd think I would actually take a woman to a sit down dinner at Subway. Edited March 25, 2015 by fitnessfan365
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Hmm.. Thought I was pretty clear when I said that I was picking us up Subway sandwiches to have during a sunset picnic in the park. But I guess I need to make it clear once again. I found out from her what she likes on her sandwich, so I am picking the food up on the way to her place, and then driving us to the location for the picnic where we'll eat outside, and enjoy a nice sunset together. When you have a picnic, sandwiches are ideal. It's not like you're going to have a five course meal outside. I'm almost insulted that you'd think I would actually take a woman to a sit down dinner at Subway. Subway is immediate grounds for terminating the date. Picnic or not. I'd rather have my foot-long in the bedroom, thank you very much. You live in the freaking Bay Area. Why not find a mom-and-pop cute little Italian delicatessen and get genova sammiches and cider? THAT, my friend, is quaint and charming. 1
DatingDirection Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Hmm.. Thought I was pretty clear when I said that I was picking us up Subway sandwiches to have during a sunset picnic in the park. But I guess I need to make it clear once again. I found out from her what she likes on her sandwich, so I am picking the food up on the way to her place, and then driving us to the location for the picnic where we'll eat outside, and enjoy a nice sunset together. When you have a picnic, sandwiches are ideal. It's not like you're going to have a five course meal outside. I'm almost insulted that you'd think I would actually take a woman to a sit down dinner at Subway. Well you did make it sound, as if it were a game, of how you can save your pennies, while trying to get laid. But from what I read as in the above, yes that's thoughtful, just put in a bottle of wine, and it doesn't need to be expensive either.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 (edited) Subway is immediate grounds for terminating the date. Picnic or not. I'd rather have my foot-long in the bedroom, thank you very much. You live in the freaking Bay Area. Why not find a mom-and-pop cute little Italian delicatessen and get genova sammiches and cider? THAT, my friend, is quaint and charming. I will admit that you made me laugh out loud at your foot long in the bedroom comment. But with how cool you've been, I never would have guessed you were that high maintenance. I mean having actual "sandwich qualifications"? If a woman cares more about the type of sandwich over the good company and enjoying a sunset together, then she is definitely not for me. Did you ever stop to think that she likes Subway? Since we're both into fitness, we eat Subway regularly and she had her usual order memorized and ready to tell me. Really though Pumpkin, you disappointed me with that post. Well you did make it sound, as if it were a game, of how you can save your pennies, while trying to get laid. But from what I read as in the above, yes that's thoughtful, just put in a bottle of wine, and it doesn't need to be expensive either. Neither of us drink. But honestly, if I was trying to "get laid" would I keep planning dates in public? I honestly could have invited her back to my place after the second date, but I genuinely like the girl and want to keep getting to know her. Edited March 25, 2015 by fitnessfan365
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Being cheap is always a turn off for me, subway for a romantic dinner. id rather the guy just buy groceries and cook a meal together. it's not really what we do it's how we do it, for example, fine subway for dinner, but get it to go and sit in the park with a bottle of wine. that's sweet and fun. but to be overly cheap, and take a women to subway, or free pool, just states, you don't really care about being cute, you just care whether you will grow enough on that person, to sleep with her. ew. I don't think you read his post in it's entirety. What you regard as "cheap", other women would see as creative and smart. Ya know, not every date has to involve eating at five star restaurants, attending expensive venues and getting horse carriage rides. And, a guy taking a woman to a 'free' venue, such as a concert, a pool or where ever doesn't mean he's 'cheap'. It's not where a couple goes on a date - it's their INTERACTION on the date that is the focal point. The objective of a woman going on a date with a man is to GET TO KNOW HIM and to see if there's any CHEMISTRY with him; it's not for her to get wined and dined and for him to spend hundreds of dollars on her! To me, those type of women are gold-diggers and women who are only after free meals and free outings - they have ZERO interest in the guy or getting to know him. I'm glad I'm not that shallow. .
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I'm glad I'm not that shallow. That's why I am SHOCKED at Pumpkin's post. She seemed like one of the coolest, genuine, most down to earth women on here. But then to find out she would write a guy off automatically for getting the wrong brand of sandwich? To be honest, this is exactly why I put so much effort into low key and fun/creative dates. They tend to show what a woman's priorities really are. I'll be the first to admit that I LOVE spoiling a woman that DESERVES it with expensive dates once I get more serious with her. But in the beginning low key and creative dates weed out the ones who are way too high maintenance. 1
edgygirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Gaeta, I've been reading your threads and I feel you have the same problem as me. You overthink things when it's way to early to do that, probably get somewhat anxious about it, and unknowingly start to act different. Men sense that, feel weird about it, and pull away. After 7 days and 3 dates, there shouldn't be any expectations no matter what is being said. Try to relax and go with the flow and only access the situation for real after 3 months. I know it's hard to do and I am also trying to train myself to be able to do it. It's also hard to do because we can't stand all this endless dating anymore and want to find someone that is right for us. Please take some time to think about it. It took me a long time to see what I was doing... but I (think I) finally saw the light. I hope you do too. Exactly. So. Much. Over. Thinking. In. This. Thread. 2
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Since we're both into fitness, we eat Subway regularly and she had her usual order memorized and ready to tell me. Is Subway Healthy? This Study Might Surprise You | TakePart Do your homework, loverboy. I'm not high maintenance. I view my body as a temple, avoid processed foods and fast foods (Subway is considered fast food) and cook probably 90 percent of my meals.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Subway is immediate grounds for terminating the date. Picnic or not. I'd rather have my foot-long in the bedroom, thank you very much. You live in the freaking Bay Area. Why not find a mom-and-pop cute little Italian delicatessen and get genova sammiches and cider? THAT, my friend, is quaint and charming. You're too hung up on status symbols and requiring a guy who doesn't even KNOW you to spend extra money so he can "charm" the pants off of you. If I was a guy and encountered a woman like you on a first date, I'd calmly turn in the other direction and RUN. (...cue in Robin Wright yelling, "Run, Forrest, RUN!") .
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Is Subway Healthy? This Study Might Surprise You | TakePart Do your homework, loverboy. I'm not high maintenance. I view my body as a temple, avoid processed foods and fast foods (Subway is considered fast food) and cook probably 90 percent of my meals. Haha.. Fair enough. If we were dating, I suggested Subway for picnic food, and you brought that to my attention, I'd respect it and make alternate arrangements. At least this post, I can respect because it goes with your lifestyle choices. But when I get my Subway, it's spinach, tomato, and turkey breast. No dressing, no condiments, and no cheese. So I'm curious how a plain sandwich like that would be considered terrible for you. The other one made you seem like a sandwich snob. But since I do cook at least 85% of my meals, I can respect that you value your health.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 That's why I am SHOCKED at Pumpkin's post. She seemed like one of the coolest, genuine, most down to earth women on here. But then to find out she would write a guy off automatically for getting the wrong brand of sandwich? To be honest, this is exactly why I put so much effort into low key and fun/creative dates. They tend to show what a woman's priorities really are. NO....it shows me what the MAN'S priorities are. If he thinks Subway is healthy and acceptable, we are definitely not on the same page in terms of eating habits. You can spend the same 15 bucks at Whole Foods and get a fresh salad, some artisan bread and maybe drinks and have the same date. You are in the BAY AREA and trust me, these bay area Yoga chicks are the most health conscious in the entire nation. You do not want to be taking them to Subway with all the zillions of choices of fine cuisine you have available to you. Poor choice.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 You're too hung up on status symbols and requiring a guy who doesn't even KNOW you to spend extra money so he can "charm" the pants off of you. If I was a guy and encountered a woman like you on a first date, I'd calmly turn in the other direction and RUN. (...cue in Robin Wright yelling, "Run, Forrest, RUN!") . EXTRA MONEY? No one said anything about spending extra money. Probably cost the same, if not a couple of bucks more. FitnessFas was saying how he's trying to be creative. Subway isn't creative. Mom and pop is.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 EXTRA MONEY? No one said anything about spending extra money. Probably cost the same, if not a couple of bucks more. FitnessFas was saying how he's trying to be creative. Subway isn't creative. Mom and pop is. For me the creative would be planning a sunset picnic. Not the food. But as I said, at least now I get where you're coming from. It has to do with lifestyle choices and eating habits. Not being a sandwich snob or overly concerned with money.
Author Gaeta Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Gaeta, I've been reading your threads and I feel you have the same problem as me. You overthink things when it's way to early to do that, probably get somewhat anxious about it, and unknowingly start to act different. Men sense that, feel weird about it, and pull away. After 7 days and 3 dates, there shouldn't be any expectations no matter what is being said. Try to relax and go with the flow and only access the situation for real after 3 months. I know it's hard to do and I am also trying to train myself to be able to do it. It's also hard to do because we can't stand all this endless dating anymore and want to find someone that is right for us. Please take some time to think about it. It took me a long time to see what I was doing... but I (think I) finally saw the light. I hope you do too. I am not dating someone for 3 months without being exclusive. Been there, done that, got the heartbreak. I am 49 and I know what I want, I don't need 3 months to figure out I like a man and want to date him exclusively. Dating exclusively is not a marriage. If he doesn't like it with me after 1-2 months he is free to break it and go back searching online. I understand the 'go with the flow'. I am just worried I said something wrong and going with the flow is not gonna fix it. I don't want to be perceived as being a player or not serious because I am serious.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 For me the creative would be planning a sunset picnic. Not the food. But as I said, at least now I get where you're coming from. It has to do with lifestyle choices and eating habits. Not being a sandwich snob or overly concerned with money. Not dissing your idea...it's a very very cute idea, the picnic and all. Very sweet. I am kind of a snob when it comes to my body and what I put in it. I work out really hard and hate to see my hard work going to waste with poor food choices. Your selections at Subway sound very healthy. I haven't eaten there in 10 years, so I'm not sure what they have available anymore other than what i see on TV or what I read on newsfeeds.
DatingDirection Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I don't think you read his post in it's entirety. What you regard as "cheap", other women would see as creative and smart. Ya know, not every date has to involve eating at five star restaurants, attending expensive venues and getting horse carriage rides. I'm glad I'm not that shallow. . You clearly didn't read my post carefully either. Yes, I admit, I didn't read his post carefully. What I said was, it's not what he does, but how he does it. Ok, subway, but take it to the park, which he did. That's great. But from the context of this initial post, the way he outlined how much he spent, and where he went, suggested that his priority was to save his money, and not really focused on getting to know the girl, or creating a fun, romantic vibe between the two. Which, now that I read his post and his intentions, in the first place, I realise that was my mistake to jump to conclusions. So then this debate popped up because of it. Trust me, my best dates have been low key, creative and filled with fire b/c of the company. I've had high maintenance dates, those were boring. 1
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I am not dating someone for 3 months without being exclusive. Been there, done that, got the heartbreak. I am 49 and I know what I want, I don't need 3 months to figure out I like a man and want to date him exclusively. Dating exclusively is not a marriage. If he doesn't like it with me after 1-2 months he is free to break it and go back searching online. I understand the 'go with the flow'. I am just worried I said something wrong and going with the flow is not gonna fix it. I don't want to be perceived as being a player or not serious because I am serious. Gaeta, have you read my post to you on page 10, #144? Why don't you just CALL him and talk to him about how you FEEL about this? If three months is your limit and you feel that you've said something wrong that has changed his feelings about you, the BEST way to find out for sure is for you to CONTACT him and TALK to him! Why are you waiting for him to contact you??????????????????????? .
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Not dissing your idea...it's a very very cute idea, the picnic and all. Very sweet. I am kind of a snob when it comes to my body and what I put in it. I work out really hard and hate to see my hard work going to waste with poor food choices. Your selections at Subway sound very healthy. I haven't eaten there in 10 years, so I'm not sure what they have available anymore other than what i see on TV or what I read on newsfeeds. Oh trust me, I could tell you were a fit sexy woman just based on your facial features. Hopefully your exercise regiment includes weight training which I'm guessing it does because you're too smart to buy into the myth that lifting makes a woman "big". Nothing is sexier than a woman who squats, deadlifts, and lunges her way into sexy skirts.
Author Gaeta Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 I was waiting 9h tonight to contact him that is when his daughter goes to bed. I started by sending a text to make sure he's done with his night routine. No reply.
Author Gaeta Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Oh trust me, I could tell you were a fit sexy woman just based on your facial features. I hate to burst your bubble but her avatar is Brigitte Bardo, you're probably too young to know who she is. A French Sex symbol from the 70s. 6
Phoe Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Oh trust me, I could tell you were a fit sexy woman just based on your facial features. Perhaps you've seen a photo that I'm unaware of, but that avatar is of bridget bardot! I'm sure pumpkin is just as lovely though. 2
Phoe Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I hate to burst your bubble but her avatar is Brigitte Bardo, you're probably too young to know who she is. A French Sex symbol from the 70s. You beat me to it! Haha I always see FF talking about how pretty pumpkin is, so I wondered if perhaps he'd seen a photo I did not know about. 3
edgygirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I understand wanting to be exclusive fast, I don't know which country you live in but in big cities it doesn't quite work like that. Does it in your country? When do you usually talk about exclusivity? Is it on date #__, or after X amount of time, or when you feel you are really into them? Do you always initiate the exclusivity talk? I read that part... could be it. I believe when a guy is really interested, he probably wouldn't give up after such a small miscommunication. Have you heard from him and did you have the chance to talk about it yet? If you don't hear from him, are you planning on contacting him and talk about it? I am not dating someone for 3 months without being exclusive. Been there, done that, got the heartbreak. I am 49 and I know what I want, I don't need 3 months to figure out I like a man and want to date him exclusively. Dating exclusively is not a marriage. If he doesn't like it with me after 1-2 months he is free to break it and go back searching online. I understand the 'go with the flow'. I am just worried I said something wrong and going with the flow is not gonna fix it. I don't want to be perceived as being a player or not serious because I am serious.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 HAHAHHAHAHHAH!!!! Jaysus Christ, it is not me!:laugh::laugh: 4
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