HBK3317 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) I was thinking as usual about my D (My Ex) and I was so worried that she will find someone to date and will go out with him kiss him be with him... Then I had a thought... If that's what makes her happy then that's what she should do. I am kind of realising now that I just want her to be happy and safe... She need not be with me for that ain't that true? If someone else can give her the love security safety and happiness which she deserves and more, then that guy should be the one with her. She deserves so much better than me, I am face to face with that now. D always be happy my baby... I am sorry things turned out like they did. I never wanted us to end this horribly heck I never wanted us to end at all but circumstances and my bad choices (I started using H) led us to where we are today. But as they say everything happens for a reason and the reason here is My life was already going down in flames due to my horrible choices and I would have dragged you along... If you wouldn't have left me then today we both would have been miserable instead of just me and I for one can not see you miserable. I couldn't provide you the life and happiness you deserve my baby. Somewhere down the line I really lost myself and I just crapped all over my life, my dreams, my ambitions. I forgot all the promises I made to myself and to you. I really don't know how I let it all slip so fast. Guess that's what the drug did to me, made me a careless pathetic junkie. Baby I know it doesn't matter to you anymore but please know that no matter what you will always be my One and Only. You are my baby,my C ,my boyfriend ,the one who wore the pants in our relation, I love you C very very much. Baby you are the only person I have ever loved so deeply with my everything and you made me feel at the top of the world but I guess it's God's punishment, to put me on the right track, that I lost you and now I accept it. I know what I have to do turn my life around and be a better person. Now I know my mistakes and have come to terms with reality. I will work on them rectify them and try to be what I once wanted to be rich and successful then maybe one day down the line we might meet and I won't have to hide my face in shame... If somehow you are reading this please know that I will always love you and pray for your success, happiness and well being. I know you are going to be a very famous and successful Doctor in due time. Also I hope that somehow you find it in your heart to forgive me, I never wanted to lie to you and most definitely I never meant things to be difficult or complicated for you. It all happened under the influence of that s#it Heroin and I really didn't know what I was doing. All that stuff I did, like talking to your sister about us and all the crap I wrote on Facebook was all done when I was high and trust me I was in a black out. I actually had no control over my brain when all that was happening. I hope you will understand, you know I ain't like that. I didn't even realise till January when I was checking my FB page what all Shîte I had written there and I still don't know what all I talked to your sister about because I couldn't find any of her messages... I wanted to apologise immediately but your final exams and given the conditions I thought it best to just deactivate my account and keep silent. Well I know that chances of you reading this is right next to zero but still if you do please know that I Will Always Love You and I will always pray for you to be successful in everything you are doing and plan to do in the future. Yours forever H.B.K Edited May 7, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author HBK3317 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 Hi my baby... Muah ... Congratulations... I know today must be your result and you will pass with very good marks... How I wish... Anyways congratulations once again my darling... Finally my baby has become a doctor! Yay! Have fun baby... Bye 1
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 hi my baby... Muah ... Congratulations... I know today must be your result and you will pass with very good marks... How i wish... Anyways congratulations once again my darling... Finally my baby has become a doctor! Yay! Have fun baby... Bye wtf? Lol..... 1
Author HBK3317 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 wtf? Lol..... Please I request you humbly don't make fun. It's my way of coping with my loss. If you find it funny, good I made a person laugh but please don't post as such. Thanks 1
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Please I request you humbly don't make fun. It's my way of coping with my loss. If you find it funny, good I made a person laugh but please don't post as such. Thanks No no no.... I wasn't making fun.... I thought you were being funny in your reply.... Sorry mate... 1
Author HBK3317 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 Oh misunderstanding ... It's ok brother... I miss her everyday so I thought I would start writing letters to her... The ones you never send kind... 1
Author HBK3317 Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 I know it's pathetic. But I can't help it really... I still love her like crazy and it's been seven months since I saw her or even heard from her... Writing these letters make me feel light... 1
AdamantyumKrystal Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 well this is kinda nice actually ^_^ keep it up and release your thoughts man1 u'll be fine and everything will turn out okay one day 1
Satu Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Oh misunderstanding ... It's ok brother... I miss her everyday so I thought I would start writing letters to her... The ones you never send kind... The ones you don't send are always the best. 1
Author HBK3317 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Posted August 28, 2015 Well after a lot of crying, moaning and bitching the day has finally come. I am over you. I hope you have a good life. It was nice knowing you and it was good, at least for me, while it lasted. H.B.K. 1
Chi townD Posted August 28, 2015 Posted August 28, 2015 (edited) Okay, I kind of understand why you're doing this. And you might think it's therapeutic, but dude. It is down right depressing. You're living in the past and this isn't helping you're healing as much as you think it will. It's like you're standing outside her window and watching her life as yours passes you by. What I strongly propose you do is turn this thread into something motivational. You've already realized your mistakes, you've just told us where you screwed up. Okay, cool. The first step in fixing a problem is realizing that there is one. Use this thread for your motivation. And you know what/ We WANT to see you heal! We will be your biggest cheering section. You used drugs. I would love to see post where you say stuff like: "Hey folks, I just went to my first substance abuse meeting tonight." AWESOME! "Hey, I'm back and I am six months drug free!" "I'm seeing and individual counselor" "Going to the gym! Really starting to see results!" "Well, I signed up for school! Wish me Luck!" "YEAH! One more class and I have my computer science degree!" (or whatever) " Just got back from a weekend hiking in the mountains with some friends!" "I can't believe I've just booked a trip to South Africa to go on Safari!" If you're thinking that one day she finds this, wouldn't you want her to see (or read) the improvements you've made to your life? How you turned yourself around? Instead of reading what you have been writing? And everytime you post, you're going to get encouragement. You can be an inspiration to people that are freshly hurt. But, it's up to you to find that motivation. Think about it. The decision is yours. Edited August 28, 2015 by Chi townD 2
Author HBK3317 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Posted August 29, 2015 I appreciate the concern my man, I seriously do, but you might want to check the dates between my first and my last post. It's all done with, I am over it bro. Your post might have been helpful a few months back you know When I posted the first message I kind of wanted her to find this but now frankly I don't give a hoot. She might, she might not, I don't care Now as for the achievements, since you mentioned I will tell you: A year drug free and going strong. I am in the best shape of my life. Didn't need counseling (thank god for that!) No offense to anyone. And applied for a job which I am damn sure I will be appointed upon. I would have deleted this post but apparently you can't so… Anyways yeah that's about it, I have completely moved on. Thanks anyways for taking the time to post. H.B.K
Recommended Posts