ohwelljustme Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 When My girlfriend and I first starting dating she just got out of an 8 year relationship with this guy because he has issues with alcohol and substance abuse and she just feels like she can't take care of him anymore. There are times when she will break down in tears thinking about how he's doing and hoping he'd be okay. But overall she's getting better and getting her own life on track. we took a break because I don't think she's over him and I dont want to feel so unworthy and also because of other things. we kept in contact this break and things have been greater than ever. We have good talks and we had great time just enjoying each other's company, and she hasn't talked about him so things were going great. So finally we decided to give it another go. And on the very same night that guy happened to drunk texted her a long text saying how they haven't talked in a while but she's the love of his life and he feels like he might be dying and just wanted to her to know that he loves her blah blah blah and then 2 mins later saying I'm sorry i'm drunk just feeling sorry for myself. All that at 3am in the morning and I was pissed. My girl is extremely kind and nurturing,partially because she's a nurse. Anyway, it got her very upset and worry and was reminded of all the pain he has caused her. we talked and she said she will check in on him and let him know that was selfish and not okay.I asked if this might affect us she said no. But also said unless he really needs medical help then she would help him cause he was there when she has cancer and she feels like she owes him. I just can't help feeling extremely angry at this loser who can't even man up to fix his own problems and realize that was exactly why she dumped him and instead is disrupting the good life she's trying to build.She still shed tears for him and I hate seeing that he's still haunting her life.And terribly afraid that her nurturing nature will want to try to save his soul again, and leave me behind as I don't need saving. Rocky start,but I know if I do win her love it will be all worth it exactly because of her compassionate nature as well.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I'm sorry OP, but I think this is going to be a continuing problem. She's showed you she's not willing to cut him out of her life and claims she has a sense of obligation toward him. This means that he's not going to just disappear. And forget about trying to "win" her love. That's a battle not worth fighting when one party isn't all in. She's still too tied up with him.
Recommended Posts