smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Damm, I paid for brunch on top of traveling to her area and after the meet which was for about 45 mins we went hugged and she said text her and call her when I get home I did send a text letting her know I was on the bus headed home and she responded with a K lol. And once I got home I just never called because I just felt I put too much effort into this meeting by doing more traveling and paying for brunch. Also toward the end of the date I said...."we you know now you have to come to my area for our next date" I said that in a joking way but i never heard anything else from her the rest of the day. But I am one for saying that you don't need to know if someone got home safe if you have no intentions on talking to the person again. BTW: This was my first time going on a 1st date on a sunday in years and probably won't do it again.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Dude, any woman that you have to travel on a bus to meet is one you should avoid. Especially if this is a girl you met on Tinder of all places. But here is a tip. If you haven't kiss closed a first meet/date and a woman says to text/call her when you get home, this is actually a sign she wants to see you again. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to be in touch. So once you get that validation, this is the perfect response - "Give me a reason to". Then start inching in for the kiss and let her come to you. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Dude, any woman that you have to travel on a bus to meet is one you should avoid. Especially if this is a girl you met on Tinder of all places. But here is a tip. If you haven't kiss closed a first meet/date and a woman says to text/call her when you get home, this is actually a sign she wants to see you again. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to be in touch. So once you get that validation, this is the perfect response - "Give me a reason to". Then start inching in for the kiss and let her come to you. Im confused by your "give me a reason to" once I get validation
fitnessfan365 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Im confused by your "give me a reason to" once I get validation When you want to see a woman again but don't go for a kiss, it's because you can't get a read on her. But when she says she wants you to call/text when you get home, she is validating that she wants to see you again. So that's the sign you need to go for the kiss. So when she says "Text me when you get home", you say "Give me a reason to" and start leaning in for the kiss. This is not only showing her you have confidence, but it challenges/dares her to prove her real interest level. Women usually like a guy that's a bit of a challenge. You're letting her know that if she wants that text, she needs to give you a reason to do so. 2
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 When you want to see a woman again but don't go for a kiss, it's because you can't get a read on her. But when she says she wants you to call/text when you get home, she is validating that she wants to see you again. So that's the sign you need to go for the kiss. So when she says "Text me when you get home", you say "Give me a reason to" and start leaning in for the kiss. This is not only showing her you have confidence, but it challenges/dares her to prove her real interest level. Women usually like a guy that's a bit of a challenge. You're letting her know that if she wants that text, she needs to give you a reason to do so. Ok I gotcha Now
Gaeta Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 So when she says "Text me when you get home", you say "Give me a reason to" and start leaning in for the kiss. What? Where do you get these things? 'give me a reason to' ?? When he'd come for the kiss I would be turning my face. That sounds so players. OP: How many times we said no meal for a first date! 9
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 What? Where do you get these things? 'give me a reason to' ?? When he'd come for the kiss I would be turning my face. That sounds so players. OP: How many times we said no meal for a first date! why I forgot?
fitnessfan365 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 What? Where do you get these things? 'give me a reason to' ?? When he'd come for the kiss I would be turning my face. That sounds so players. OP: How many times we said no meal for a first date! Just speaking from experience on what has worked for me.
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Damm I just went to pof and see she deleted her profile. Not sure what the hell that means
Poppyolive Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Next time; Meet half way Just a coffee or beer. No food. Keep it simple, short & sweet. If she wants more (dates) she'll let you know. If you more, let her know. Move onto the next. 1
snowflakes88 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 But here is a tip. If you haven't kiss closed a first meet/date and a woman says to text/call her when you get home, this is actually a sign she wants to see you again. Otherwise, she wouldn't want to be in touch. So once you get that validation, this is the perfect response - "Give me a reason to". Then start inching in for the kiss and let her come to you. I wouldn't follow this advice -- just my opinion. I've asked guys to let me know they got home safely before even when I had no interest in seeing them again at all... I just figure it's decent manners, especially if he's come out of his way to meet me and has a long-ish trip back, if we've had a couple of drinks, etc. I don't take it as an indication that a guy wants to see me again if he asks me to let him know I made it home, either. Just a routine polite gesture, in my book. 2
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Next time; Meet half way Just a coffee or beer. No food. Keep it simple, short & sweet. If she wants more (dates) she'll let you know. If you more, let her know. Move onto the next. Why no food?
snowflakes88 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Why no food? You wouldn't be here complaining about how you paid for brunch. Most first meets will not even lead to a real first date... can't really complain about paying for a meal and having nothing materialize if you keep suggesting meals for first meets. 8
Author smg15 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 I feel like Frankenstein right now because I never had anyone come home and delete their profile after meeting me
Perrier Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I feel like Frankenstein right now because I never had anyone come home and delete their profile after meeting me OP this depends. If she contacts you, then fine. If she does not, deleting her profile means she's moved on and isn't interested.
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Why no food? Because you end up spending a fortune on strangers. If you want to waste your money give it to the homeless... 4
regine_phalange Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Why did you go on the first place? If you're going to resent it or if you're doing it as a means to get something in return, then don't do it. 2
Justanaverageguy Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Because you end up spending a fortune on strangers. If you want to waste your money give it to the homeless... I'm going to disagree slightly here. I have absolutely no problem having a meal on a first date if the costs for the meal are shared. I often do dinners for first date - gives you more time to relax and actually talk to the person. But I never pay for first dates and I actually normally find most women don't want you to either. Girls sometimes think the guy paying makes them obligated to do something. Like the guy expects a pay off - I paid so I get laid. Some people say its chivalrous to pay but I think that is plain BS for a first date or the first few dates. Chivalry is not "paying just because it is a woman". Only ever pay because it is a good women, who you know, like and care about. If its a girl I have been seeing whom I care about then of course I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant and pay. If you are a stranger I just met on the first date - you are paying your own way. 2
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I'm going to disagree slightly here. I have absolutely no problem having a meal on a first date if the costs for the meal are shared. I often do dinners for first date - gives you more time to relax and actually talk to the person. I think most (many?) people are opposed to dinner as a first date choice even with a split bill because it can be costly depending on where you live/dine and how often. Not to mention a lot more time consuming. I went out to dinner with friends tonight (well, last night technically) and we split the bill yet I still spent something like $70 on myself alone. And this was only on a few cocktails and a meal. I mean, it's not a million dollars but I'm in my early 20s, that's not something I'd look forward to spending a few times a week. At all. On a first meeting, a lot of people simply prefer less formal and less pricey since you may very well never see that person again....or want to. 3
Gaeta Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 No dinner on a first meet: 1. Like others have said it's a lot of money spent on someone you won't and probably see again. Most first meet don't make it to a 2nd and 3rd date. 2. It's too long. 3. She could be nothing like her pictures and you're stock having a meal with her when you wish you were some place else. 4. Coffee is good, a cake shop is good, meeting in a park for a walk, at an ice cream parlor is a good place too. 3
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I'm going to disagree slightly here. I have absolutely no problem having a meal on a first date if the costs for the meal are shared. I often do dinners for first date - gives you more time to relax and actually talk to the person. But I never pay for first dates and I actually normally find most women don't want you to either. Girls sometimes think the guy paying makes them obligated to do something. Like the guy expects a pay off - I paid so I get laid. Some people say its chivalrous to pay but I think that is plain BS for a first date or the first few dates. Chivalry is not "paying just because it is a woman". Only ever pay because it is a good women, who you know, like and care about. If its a girl I have been seeing whom I care about then of course I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant and pay. If you are a stranger I just met on the first date - you are paying your own way. The only thing I do not like about this is that I want a "get out" on a first date/ meet. If I am uncomfortable, I want to be able to get out and fast. A dinner date does not allow for that. 1
Justanaverageguy Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 The only thing I do not like about this is that I want a "get out" on a first date/ meet. If I am uncomfortable, I want to be able to get out and fast. A dinner date does not allow for that. Hahaha who are you dating ?? I guess it is different for girls .... but I have never in my life had a date so bad I couldn't sit through a meal with the other person and needed "a get out" plan. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people so I find first dates really fun. I love that getting to know you bit, finding out what makes someone tick and what they are enthusiastic about even if maybe at the end of the date its not something I see going any further. Plus if they are rude or bat **** crazy it just makes for a good story to tell I have no issue with catching up for a drink or a coffee for first dates but I just find them to be less enjoyable. Something about sitting down and eating with someone else that makes things more open and laid back.
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Hahaha who are you dating ?? I guess it is different for girls .... but I have never in my life had a date so bad I couldn't sit through a meal with the other person and needed "a get out" plan. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people so I find first dates really fun. I love that getting to know you bit, finding out what makes someone tick and what they are enthusiastic about even if maybe at the end of the date its not something I see going any further. Plus if they are rude or bat **** crazy it just makes for a good story to tell I have no issue with catching up for a drink or a coffee for first dates but I just find them to be less enjoyable. Something about sitting down and eating with someone else that makes things more open and laid back. Don't ask... I have learnt the hard way that you try to weed out the weirdo's but they still slip through the net... I hate dating. Really really hate it. Mind you Gaeta and I swop stories so at least I have made a friend there and she isn't bat **** crazy. Yet... Give it time... at this rate it could be either one of us going a bit coo coo first with all the goings on that we seem to get. 1
Justanaverageguy Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I hate dating. Really really hate it. Sorry off topic and I know you said don't ask but I can't resist - What usually makes it so bad ?? Whats the worst thing that has happened on a date? Genuinely interested in what the other side normally gets from guys. I've had some dates with "interesting" women recently ...... but its nothing too crazy. I did have one recently where second date I asked the girl around to my place for dinner and she literally laughed at me when she arrived because - shock: I had actually bothered to cook dinner. She thought it was just for sex and couldn't believe I actually cooked ..... Women these days Also I get that the fact you hate dating is coming from previous bad experiences but still ..... if you go in with that mindset you are kind of jinxing it. For me I didn't always love dating. When I was younger I was a little shy around pretty girls but mainly I think I hated it because I put so much pressure on the outcome. On the date having to be a success. Now I don't and that's why I enjoy it so much .... instead of going in thinking she has to be beautiful and amazing, this has to go well, she has to like me, I have to try and close the deal .... whatever other requirement I placed on it. I just go in looking to have a good night and meet someone new. Lots of guys go by the always be closing motto ..... strangely I have found I get the most success by doing the exact opposite - especially on early dates. 3
loveweary11 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Mr Fitness has it right, imo. It's called "getting to no" in sales. Challenge her a little in a cute way and you can instantly see if it's going somewhere. If not, you know where you stand, no wasted second date required. Dinner: if you must, go for drinks and appetizers at a trendy place. It's a lot of fun. 1
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