Scorched Soul Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Hi all, I'm someone who has suffered from strong social anxiety, fear of intimacy etc all my life, which has severely hampered my ability to develop romantic/sexual relationships and maitain friendships. (some more background to me in this thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/486204-30yr-no-dating-experience-want-turn-my-life-around-need-some-input) I feel I have made a lot of progress with these issues and am now ready to begin 1) dating and 2)re-building old friendships and building new ones. One big issue I still have is not being able to let go of the shame i hold about my past. Whenever I am put in a social situation where I am trying to be open to someone, I suddenly feel overwhelmed by shame and think about all the failures of my life. The feeling is so strong and i just completely shut down. What are some strategies to cope with this. I think part of the issue is that I don't really accept myself yet and still judge myself, which means i feel others will too. At the same time, I feel the only way I can begin to get over this is to actually make some progress with relationships and friendships, the two areas that I feel I am a failure in. This happened to me recently during dinner with two friends - they wanted to know more about me in my life outside of them and when they asked, i completely panicked. They noticed something was wrong and quickly changed the subject but i felt horrible. I am meeting an old friend this week who i havent seen in years. I am dreading something similar happening when she asks me what's happend in my life since i saw her last. How can i begin to own who i am and start to move forward???? Many thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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