jessicablaineja Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 My ex and I were together for eight years. During this time I supported him financially and emotionally. Although I had a more difficult job and would come home much later than he did, I still acted like a housewife. I would cook all his meals, clean the house, wash his clothes etc. Then we decided to both do graduate degrees, but unfortunately we got into schools that were in different states. It was difficult trying to maintain a long-distance relationship but it was for the long haul so we were willing to make it work. About a year ago I developed a debilitating illness that ultimately resulted in me having to get surgery. The surgery would leave me incapacitated for six weeks and as a result I had to take a leave of absence from my graduate program. I lost all my funding and was unemployed. Luckily, my mother was willing to come up and help with my recovery for the first two weeks and my ex would take care of me for the remainder of the time. After the surgery, I was very depressed, which led my ex told me to "suck it up". This got me upset and we had an argument. After the argument, he refused to answer my calls and ignored my texts. It has been three weeks and my mother has left and I am all alone. He has not attempted to contact me or check on me. I am usually better at breakups, but it is hard if you can barely walk. Is it wrong of me to expect that someone who claimed to love me to try and check on me. Yes, we argued, but shouldn't he at least be worried about my well being? I am confused.
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Your ex is what is known as a "self centered jackass". Don't worry that he is not there. Be glad that he has gone. Use this time to get better and recover and then go and have some fun and kick up your heals. ext time pick someone who isn't such a lazy bum. 1
Itspointless Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 It sounds like you were the caretaker of the two all the time. Toodaloo is right about him being a "self centered jackass". I am sorry. 1
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 It looks like you took a fall. Try to land on your back. If you can look up, you can get up. And you MUST get up. To show pieces of **** like this guy and my girl, that the world isn't over because they are gone. To show them that they made a ****ing mistake. And when they realize it, it is too late. Because we found someone a lot better than them.... YOU CAN DO IT! For all of our sake! Get up, and FU-CK THEM ALL!
FancyFace Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Man this is brutal. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your expectations for a partner to stick with you through thick and thin are not lofty or exaggerated. Unfortunately you had a partner that was selfish, self centred and not committed in the true sense of what it means to love someone and be there no matter what. I know you must be deep down in the dumps but you need to face reality that this guy is a douche who is as undeserving of you and your love as you are undeserving of this kind of cruel treatment. He isnt worth it at all. He might be ignoring you now but he may pop back up when you are healthy and strong and confuse you. The best thing to do is go NC completely and as much as you are healing your body from the surgery, heal your heart too. You deserve better than a man who will bail at the first sign of difficulty, especially after you have been there for him 100%. Some people just arent loyal and are the epitome of ungrateful and selfish. That is not a reflection on you, so try not to take it to heart. If he cant take you when you are low, he can miss you when you are flying high. Wishing you a speedy recovery and hope you return to good health and well being soon. Sending you love and light. 1
Author jessicablaineja Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Ex contacted me and said he wants to come and check on me. I haven't responded. What should I do?
mightycpa Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Is it strange that he would call first to arrange a time? Not sure how close you are and what the protocols for visits under normal circumstances are. I would have expected him to just show up, unannounced. I think the effort to arrange a time is peculiarly telling, given the 8 years of history.
badpenny Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Ex contacted me and said he wants to come and check on me. I haven't responded. What should I do? Ignore him. He will probably expect you to have a meal ready, the bed made and sex on hand. Please do NOT respond to him at all, don't invite him over, and do not agree to see him or speak to him ever again. You got through the worst of your medical ordeal. NOW he wants to check on you, when you're well on the road to recovery. I vote Jackass number 2.... He doesn't deserve to even know you, let alone be spoken to by you. I hope your recovery is continuing well. All the very best to you.
Author jessicablaineja Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Is it strange that he would call first to arrange a time? Not sure how close you are and what the protocols for visits under normal circumstances are. I would have expected him to just show up, unannounced. I think the effort to arrange a time is peculiarly telling, given the 8 years of history. Telling in a bad way? We live two states apart so it's not easy for him to just show up.
mightycpa Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 (edited) Telling in a bad way? We live two states apart so it's not easy for him to just show up.That's why I asked. But if I visited my mother, I'd just show up. If I visited my 8 year LDR GF, I'd just show up, especially if she was in the middle of a 6 week recovery. I wouldn't try to make an appointment. But that's just me, and why I asked. On the other hand, if it was a friend, I probably would call to arrange it. EDIT: I guess what I'm saying is I might announce my arrival ahead of time, but I wouldn't try to schedule it... so I wasn't sure what you meant by : Ex contacted me and said he wants to come and check on me. That sounds like he's asking if it's ok to do that, like he's not sure. That would tell me it might be a guilt trip, and maybe you are an ex. Which brings me to another question. When did he become an ex? That's a little murky too. Edited March 25, 2015 by mightycpa
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