Ana92 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hello, So my boyfriend and I have been together for just over 1 month, but I have grown very attached to him and can see us together long term. A couple weeks ago he lost his job, which according to him, is the only reason he is living in this city. He is originally from another state, and said that it is very likely that he won't be staying here if he finds a better opportunity for work elsewhere. Once he said this, it really broke my heart, because my previous relationship ended for pretty much the same reason. For me, it is very important to be close to my family and live close to them, so I don't see myself moving anywhere. I just feel lost. A part of me wants to just let myself fall for him - but knowing that he might not be around just keeps me from opening my heart to greater feelings. I don't know what to do! I want to do everything possible to avoid heartbreak, but I also want him to know that I want him to stay for me. In my mind, a job is replaceable but love is not.
Taramere Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Honestly, when a guy gives you the message "there's nothing to keep me here" then you need to start severing any emotional ties you've made with him - because that's a clear message that he hasn't made strong emotional ties with you. He might well want to hang around in your life until he's got his own sorted out, but if you're wise you won't let him. As long as he's hanging around in your life until his own improves, you won't get opportunities to meet somebody else. At the moment, you've only been with him for a month - and even though it hurts, it probably won't take you very long to move on from it. The message he's given you is not a positive one at all. Best thing you can do is wish him luck in finding a new job and building a new life - and then make it absolutely clear to him that you and he are finished now, and not whenever he gets his life together and moves on.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Honestly, when a guy gives you the message "there's nothing to keep me here" then you need to start severing any emotional ties you've made with him - because that's a clear message that he hasn't made strong emotional ties with you. He might well want to hang around in your life until he's got his own sorted out, but if you're wise you won't let him. As long as he's hanging around in your life until his own improves, you won't get opportunities to meet somebody else. At the moment, you've only been with him for a month - and even though it hurts, it probably won't take you very long to move on from it. The message he's given you is not a positive one at all. Best thing you can do is wish him luck in finding a new job and building a new life - and then make it absolutely clear to him that you and he are finished now, and not whenever he gets his life together and moves on. I have to agree, OP. It doesn't sound too promising, and I think you've become attached too quickly. It's only been a few weeks. Try to take a step back and a deep breath.
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 At one month in, the job is way more important than the new relationship. For all the reasons you want to stay put, those are all the reasons he may need to go back home: the support. For now, you are trying to make decisions based on maybe's and possibilities. Wait to see what happens. He may get a new job where you are.
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