Peguni Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hey guys So I'll make it quick cause it's a pretty long story but my ex and I broke up almost a month ago and I've been NC for 3 weeks now (I am the dumpee). This is our second breakup. The first was at the beginning of January and we were only broken up for 5 days before reconciling. Obviously what I've learned about getting back together so quickly is that the problems aren't fixed or gone because you don't have time to grow as an individual and regain that confidence you lost during the few hard months before parting. I took this breakup pretty hard because he is my first love and we overall make a good couple because we share interests, we understand each other, we have the same sense of humor, the sex is incredible and we were very much attracted to each other. Initially our relationship went to hell when he went in for major surgery last November. He needed more emotional support and being stuck in bed for months drove him into depression. He started over analyzing things, creating problems that weren't there, he was always down emotionally, etc. naturally this caused us to fight constantly which is where he ended it because he couldn't handle the fighting anymore. I took it like a champ, acting unfazed and graciously walked away (my friends saw the ugly side though ) the only contact we had after the breakup was strictly for him picking up his things from my house and vice versa. Once that was cleared up, we went full NC. Facebook block, skype block, twitter, etc. We have many mutual friends and from what I heard he's going through a very hard time and he's miserable. He keeps repeating how he misses me and how I'm the only girl he's ever cared about this much (he's been in other relationships before, always the dumper) he can't stop thinking of me but he also needs his space just like me. I personally do believe the surgery impacted us on a great level and that if it wasn't for that stress, we'd still be together. Truth is, we never stopped loving each other. I don't plan to break NC any time soon as I am doing pretty well on my own. I've started working out, I lost weight, new look and I got a job I really love. That being said, considering how he's taking it a month later, should I hold out on hope of reconciling further down the road when the dust has settled? I forgot to mention that since we have the same social group, we've had a trip to a cottage planned for months now in June and we both still plan to go. I'd like to meet him with first to see how we get along and if it's even realistic for us to spend 3 nights and 4 days in the same cabin.
OneBigIdgit Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 This has all of the aspects of a success story. Just keep working on YOU and let him decide when he has suffered enough and approaches you. Even if it doesn't work out, the work you are putting into yourself will make you feel great. Congratulations
Author Peguni Posted March 22, 2015 Author Posted March 22, 2015 Thanks! It definitely feels great because I've been by my friends during their breakups and they definitely didn't handle it as we as I did. I'm proud of myself for keeping my self respect and not showing him that I'm broken and lost without him! I joined the dating site we met on 2 days after the breakup (he is back too) but deleted it 2 weeks ago because I realized that trying to meet new guys and distracting myself with online dating wasn't the answer to healing. First, I work on myself, and then I can jump back into the dating scene
Author Peguni Posted March 22, 2015 Author Posted March 22, 2015 Thanks! It definitely feels great because I've been by my friends during their breakups and they definitely didn't handle it as we as I did. I'm proud of myself for keeping my self respect and not showing him that I'm broken and lost without him! I joined the dating site we met on 2 days after the breakup (he is back too) but deleted it 2 weeks ago because I realized that trying to meet new guys and distracting myself with online dating wasn't the answer to healing. First, I work on myself, and then I can jump back into the dating scene because even if we were to reconcile, and I hope we do eventually, it wouldn't be any time soon.
Author Peguni Posted March 22, 2015 Author Posted March 22, 2015 Yeah... I tried editing and failed apparently :|
Recommended Posts