Confusedchica Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Ive been back in contact with a guy I dated for over a year. We rushed into a relationship, barely got along and eventually separated. One reason is because he travels too much for his job. Recently we've been flirting ALOT. He was in town a lot (it's a very small town) for the past few months so I had been seeing him around. He would do anything to make a conversation with me and eventually we just started talking again. This time we actually have been kind of like friends. We actually are getting to know eachother. We laugh and joke together a lot. I told him that I don't mind being cool with him but, I don't want it to be like last time where there was so much drama and he agreed. We've been friends for like a month now. I thought taking the friend route would be best right now since we weren't friends first the first time. I feel closer to him in one month of being his friend than I ever did when we were dating for a year. I like him a lot. Whenever I talk to him I feel so happy. I just see a person that I've never seen before. We kissed a few weeks ago and he called me "baby" another day. I tested calling him "babe" to see if he would change or not want me calling him that but he actually didn't seem to mind. We are friends but we do flirt ALOT. I would want to be with him again but I don't want to rush. Is this a conversation we need to have or just go with the flow?? Is it normal to not talk everyday? Since we just started communicating. That's the reason I'm so cautious about us because I feel like perhaps he isn't into me because we have went a few days without speaking a couple times. We video chat sometimes. We just have a COMPLETELY different relationship than we had before. He sort of let's me keep tabs on him. He send me pics often of where he is or what he's doing. It makes me think that he's diff now because I am not his girlfriend and idk maybe he sees me as a cool friend. I don't know how to feel about us. I don't know if we are ever going to actually be together like boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't know what we are working towards. We talk MOST days but like I said sometimes we go a day or two without speaking. Which really bugged me. Before when we were in a relationship , I would be scared to voice how I feel to him about anything because he would literally ignore it. Now when I say things he responds to what I'm feeling. I try not to be clingy but I get upset if I don't hear from him all day or something. It's weird because there have been a few times where it took him awhile to message me back so I messaged him saying he's ignoring me and then he immediately responded. When he's not around me or talking to me my mind wanders so much about what he's doing. The fact that he travels so much doesn't help either. I feel like we are just friends one day then the next it's different. A few days ago I saw him at a nightclub and I also spotted another guy friend. I went to have a conversation with the guy friend (he's just a friend) and He was there watching so he looked at me and shook his head. Which threw me off. Since he's normally not the jealous type. That same night I happened to drive past a drive in spot that we used to hangout at when we were together. So I snapped a pic of the place and sent it to him. He responded by saying "what are you doing there?" In a really suspicious tone. He said it in a way as if he was accusing me of being with another guy there or maybe that guy he saw me talking to. I told him that I wouldn't send him a pic if I was there with someone else. I think he could tell I was offended. He said, "wanted you to be there for me". That entire exchange threw me off because he's never shown like concern over me talking to a guy before like not even when we were actually together like NEVER. I got scolded by everyone for "playing games" by talking to a guy in front of him and not saying anything to him (regardless if it was a just friend or not). I PROMISE it wasn't intentionally to hurt him. It was a harmless conversation. When we see each other we either play and joke around or he stares at me if I'm not having a conversation directly with him. Idk what it is exactly. I feel like perhaps he isn't into to me because I figured a guy couldn't go a day without speaking to a girl he's really into but then I think about the fact that he could be avoiding contact first since that's EXACTLY what I do sometimes. He's really sweet to me now. The main thing that bothers me is that we have went a day or two without speaking a few times. Sometimes I don't want to reach out because I don't want to seem clingy. Whenever I do see or talk to him again tho he's very sweet. He also doesn't pressure me for sex or anything. The sex talk mostly comes from me but Only as a joke. As I stated above We did kiss a few weeks ago however. I would like to take that next step but I honestly don't even know if we are working towards that. I feel like I'd be crazy it if I pressed the issue honestly since it's only been a month since we've even been communicating. I don't know how men think. Would a guy waste his time if he isn't into a girl that way? I'm sure he knows I care about him in that way. But as I've said I don't want to bug him about what we are doing exactly since I feel like we get along so well. I'm confused. The main thing that's confusing to me is that we both say we are friends but if he knows I'm upset at him about anything he will try and make me happy again it's weird to describe. The only reason I refer to us as friends is because I don't want him to think I'm being pushy. I've never told him how I felt about him recently. I just keep it to myself. Should I have that talk with him about us? Or just see how things play out??
Versacehottie Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 oh i think he likes you still and probably going through a lot of what you are going through. I think you are in the drivers seat if you play this with a lot of confidence. When you talk about how it was when you were dating prior, I think potentially he had a problem with your insecurity or feeling too tied down. Now the stakes are much lower and it seems like it's going pretty well. The jealousy thing is telling. Keep being easy breezy on that. Like you can't imagine in the world what he is talking about when he says these things. DEFINITELY let him come to you with moving it forward. Then you can be somewhat honest with him and say something to the effect of let's see where things go/I'm liking how things are between us now and happy to consider a relationship with you. Let him chase you--that's what was missing before and exactly what he needs. Look at the differences between then and now. The answer is right there. Relax and enjoy the attention. Good luck
RomeItaly Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hey so you obviously really like him, just writing a massive post like yours says it all. I'm in the same boat so I understand. As far as your relationship goes I think you need to speak to him and tell him how you feel, it's obviously more than a friendship thing since you've made romantic connections "kissing etc.." Believe me he knows it too. I think right now he's enjoying the fact that he has you around but doesn't have to consider it serious. That can be great but considering how much you like him it can eventually hurt you if you let happen for too long. My advice would be to speak to him and let him know how you feel. If he really cares for you and is not just looking for someone to string along then he will try, if not it will be tough but it will make it easier for you in the long run to call it quits now. Hope this helped. RomeItaly
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