Clark99 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hello all, wondering if you maybe able to help with a situation which has left me completely dumbfounded. Been seeing a girl for about 3 months, we became 'official' about 3 weeks ago. This morning things have taken a strange turn, she was supposed to be coming down to see me today but instead she ignored my text until I sent another one 3 hours later asking what was up...she has said she is feeling 'claustrophobic'. Her reasons being: 'My stuff is all over her house', this is about 2 or 3 books I've lent to her, and t shirt I wear to lounge about in when I'm at hers. 'I was talking about kids' names' - this was a genuine joke, just to make her laugh, I thought I made it clear I was joking. Just for the record I'm not even sure I ever want kids, I certainly can't see it in the foreseeable future. 'When she checked her phone the other day she had 4 texts from me' - this transpires from when I was suggesting things to do at the weekend, when she says they were four texts, they were and they weren't. I was using iMessage on the iPhone, I was just using the enter button instead of putting full stops, they were all sent at the same time, it wasn't me keeping on texting her until she answers. Now the really confusing bit; mixed signals, a lot of them. We went on three dates before she suggested going to dinner with her parents, I thought this was moving a bit quick, but I knew I liked her so I thought why not. She texts me a lot saying she misses me, or she now hates sleeping alone, or that she can't wait to see me; I have one text the other day from her joking about making a model of me out of pillows to sleep next to. She pressured me into asking her to be my girlfriend, I wanted to take it a bit slower, but she made it abundantly clear she wanted to be my girlfriend. She has changed her Facebook picture to one of me and her (I know I know, Facebook, but I do feel it's relevant to my point.) So all this has got me very very confused, almost like she's morphed into a different person over night. My guessing is that maybe someone else has come into the frame? I mean I have no other reason to think this other then her sudden change in behaviour, but I know from reading these boards alone that this is a strong possibility. What I'm really getting at here is it best I cut my losses and move on, I've only been seeing her a few months, so it's not going to be incredibly difficult. And I think maybe it's a bit too soon to be arguing over things like this? I mean, aren't we supposed to be in the honeymoon stage, where we can't get enough of each other? Where you want to see them every waking hour of every day, that's what my other relationships have been like. I'm not an idiot, and I know this sort of thing means she's basically not that into me? You don't get 'claustrophobic' with someone you really like, you can't get enough of them. Any ideas? I'm 25 and she's 23 if that matters..
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Dude, you already know it, move on and cut all contacts. This girl is just not worth it.
GoldieLox Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Sounds like she's had a change of heart and she can't be mature about it and have a actual conversation. You could try asking her what's up, and bring up some of the points you've discussed here, but... if at 23 you can't express this in a conversation, do you really want to be with her anyway?
preraph Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Sounds to me that right now she needs some space. Yes, she very well probably is cooling off on you, but I can't see why you'd automatically jump to the conclusion that the only way this can happen is she's into someone else. Great way to avoid any responsibility, I guess. She told you why. She feels claustrophobic, you left stuff scattered around her home (clean that up or get it out or put it hidden away), she doesn't want to be hounded with texts. I agree she's also moved too fast and I think that's caught up with her now and she's backing off. Your kid comment probably sent her into a panic. It's been 3 months, not 3 years. It probably made her think you were ready to play house way before she is. You need to tell her you're not even sure you want kids and that you are not trying to move in, get your stuff out of there, and resume dating and see how it goes. Go back to dating protocol: Ask her out a couple of days in advance, not the same day as if you assume she will always be available. You've settled in too quickly.
veggirl Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I would say "okay, good luck" and move on...honestly she sounds like a fickle drama queen. All in one second and back out the next. No thank you. Not surprised she is 23.
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