jay1638 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Hi I have been in a relationship for 9 years. Its been a hard 9 years as he never wanted to meet my family or introduce me to his friends or family. He could never admit that he was gay to anybody. Anyway I coped with that as I truly love him, on the 13th feb 2015 his mother died. I tried to be there but couldn't as I wasnt part of the family. Then out of the blue after the funeral he told me it was over and to move out. I moved out of our bed on the Wednesday morning and moved into my mothers. On the Thursday morning I I went to see him because I was so confused, he had a guy there in our bed. So now I knew the true reason. He had promised me the day before he wanted to be alone and couldn't even think about being intermate with anybody. Then on the 20th feb I had wanted to see the eclipes that I asked him weeks ago to see with me. So I went to the house and he did just that, but during the eclipes he came onto me, but as soon as I said ok he told me that I hope this isnt giving you the wrong idea and that I cant come to the house anymore. Im hoping that nc will make him realise what a mistake he has made. Im also worried to death because he hasn't greaved about him mum and seems to have lost his way. He said he cant go back to work. I know alot about his friends and wonder should I contact one and explain the situation. They could try and help him as ive just been pushed away. He also says that he has never had sex with that guy and its just somone he can talk to. I feel im the only person that knows him the best. What do I do please help.
OneBigIdgit Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 All dumpers should be bombarded with emotions as they leave a relationship. Your ex has compounded emotions trying to hide being gay, trying to decide if gay, dealing with your relationship and a recent death. I'm sure you want to help. I'd go low contact. Just enough to know that he can talk. At the same time you MUST work on moving beyond this relationship. We all need a chance for happy in our lives and I think the drama and confusion from this guy will eat you alive 3
Satu Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 *Im hoping that nc will make him realise what a mistake he has made. He didn't make a mistake. He had a think about things, and decided that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. It's only a 'mistake' when viewed from your perspective. He might change his mind, but don't spend any time waiting for him to do so. Get on with your own life and keep everything in your world ship-shape. No contact. 1
ZiggyZoo Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 This is a tough call, for sure. I responded to your other post too, and stand by my advice to go no contact. Your ex needs some professional help. Dealing with his mom's death alone is going to be hard for him. Plus all the conflict about being gay and not feeling comfortable or supported enough to tell his own friends and family that? That hurts ME to hear, and I don't even know the guy. I can't imagine what he's going through. But the bottom line is, he's chosen, for whatever reason, to do this without you. The best thing is to give him this wish, and work on yourself.
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