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Ex is coming to pick up her stuff. I should be happy, yet I'm broken. :(

wantnotshould

By wantnotshould
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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wantnotshould Member

wantnotshould

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I got her email yesterday asking to pass by and pick up her stuff today. I didn't reply till now, because I had to mentally prepare myself. I'm sobbing like a little girl. I don't understand why I am so affected by this? I thought I was doing so much better than this.

 

It hurts so bad. I'm so depressed right now. Why is this affecting me like this?

 

I'm also slightly pissed knowing she probably doesn't feel nearly as bad. It's probably so easy for her. It is killing me. :(

 

4 years together, 2 months broken up, 2 weeks of NC.

 

I want to tell her that she broke my heart, I want to make her feel guilty. I know there's no point and it'll only affect me. So I'm not going to do it. Why am I such a little baby around this subject. Why can't I tough it out?

AIJ Established Member

AIJ

Posted
Posted
I got her email yesterday asking to pass by and pick up her stuff today. I didn't reply till now, because I had to mentally prepare myself. I'm sobbing like a little girl. I don't understand why I am so affected by this? I thought I was doing so much better than this.

 

It hurts so bad. I'm so depressed right now. Why is this affecting me like this?

 

I'm also slightly pissed knowing she probably doesn't feel nearly as bad. It's probably so easy for her. It is killing me. :(

 

4 years together, 2 months broken up, 2 weeks of NC.

 

I want to tell her that she broke my heart, I want to make her feel guilty. I know there's no point and it'll only affect me. So I'm not going to do it. Why am I such a little baby around this subject. Why can't I tough it out?

 

Just take all her stuff and leave it outside the door. There's no reason to see her.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Don't see her, don't talk to her.

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BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

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When she shows up, be prepared to tell her everything you've ever wanted to say to her. You may never get a second chance to talk. When my ex came to pick up her stuff, I was frozen. Now I regret it. There was so much I wanted to tell her. Could have helped me in the long run.

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wantnotshould Member

wantnotshould

Posted
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I'm leaving the apartment for a few hours while she is there. I am confident she won't steal anything major. I don't plan on seeing her. She wants to say goodbye to the dog, and she wants a couple hours to pick everything up. I'm unsure of exactly how I'm going to distract myself.

 

Why does this bother me so much?

 

I should be happy that there is now going to be absolutely no reason for her to contact me. It'll be easier to enter full NC. Yet my anxiety is over the roof. I'm sad. I'm so pissed at myself!

OneBigIdgit Established Member

OneBigIdgit

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Does she have a solid reason for the breakup?

 

I got a good chuckle from you saying she won't steal

anything 'major'. Thanks

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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It's the finality that is upsetting you. While her stuff was still there, you had hope. Some of the stuff probably smelled like her. Once she stuff is gone, your hope will be too & that hurts.

 

 

Try to hang on to the fact that in time the pain will dissipate.

  • Like 2
EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

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You're doing the right thing. Detach and be free.

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wantnotshould Member

wantnotshould

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Her reason for break up: We're incompatible, you need to figure you out. I need to explore myself. Maybe in a future we could try it again (open ended hope). I then found out she doesn't think it'll work though mutual friends. So basically she was leaving me hopeful as a second chance.

 

I personally believe she got the GIGs. I was and am going through a depression and medical issues, and it might have gotten "too real" for her. She got cold feet and wants to explore the real world.

 

I've come to see that she is very spoiled and has not had any hardships in her life. She seems to be missing 2 screws when it comes to boundaries and expectations. It seems to be pissing her off that I've put up NC and her picking up her stuff as boundaries. I guess she wasn't expecting that. She has sent me a couple of emails about being pissed at me for telling her to use her own amazon account instead of mine, and her groupon account instead of mine. You'd think that'd be common sense. I changed the passwords to all my accounts. She was watching movies on my netflix account all revolving sex. I am not sure if she did that on purpose for me to see or is just very sexually frustrated now.

 

This has all helped me see her "true colors" and has made detachment easier, hence why I get pissed when her picking up her stuff bothers me.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

She told me today that she couldn't pick up all the stuff. She wanted to pick up the Jambox speakers, the PS3 and her TV. I told her no. She would have to pick everything up or next week pick up all the stuff.

 

She told me she had already borrowed a car and to please let her pick it up today. I again said I'd rather her pick everything up.

 

She then said she was selling her TV and had a buyer interested and needed it today. (I call bull****, because she would have mentioned it from the start.)

 

I budged, whatever, let her pick up only those things. Next week she shall pick the rest of the ****. Whatever she doesn't take will be going onto craigslist.

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wantnotshould Member

wantnotshould

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I'm so distraught. Why am I so distraught?

 

I've been crying all day. I just want to be happy already. It's been a ****ty day.

BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

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I'm so distraught. Why am I so distraught?

 

I've been crying all day. I just want to be happy already. It's been a ****ty day.

 

You're still in love with her despite her flaws. I understand. I truly do.

marcelo.santos Established Member

marcelo.santos

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dont talk to her, dont reply

 

take her things to some friend and ask him to contact her - this is it!

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wantnotshould Member

wantnotshould

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I guess I still am. How long till I'm no longer in love with her. I feel detached but then **** like this hits me in the gut, and I turn into a little baby. Is there a way to speed the process other than NC?

BlackbirdSong Established Member

BlackbirdSong

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I guess I still am. How long till I'm no longer in love with her. I feel detached but then **** like this hits me in the gut, and I turn into a little baby. Is there a way to speed the process other than NC?

 

I don't have the answers. I'm dying inside everyday also.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Have all her stuff packed in boxes by the door. When she knocks just hand it over the threshold. There's no reason to invite her in, no reason to "talk", no reason for her to be there for hours, and no reason to torture the dog by making him think she's back! Think of the dog's feelings here! He is probably missing her too and letting her "say goodbye" will give him false hope. He has to get over the breakup too and he doesn't have the luxury of this forum...

 

Just give her her stuff and get it over with in 2 minutes, then back to the NC.

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