Sex first

March 22, 2015

I've spoken to many men on pof. Most of them have only wanted sex. Some of them however have said they want to sleep with me first and then see how things go. What the hell does that mean? Sounds like they are just trying to get into my pants and then disappear. Am I correct? What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

March 22, 2015

You're right on.

Guys who say stuff like that generally only want the sex with no strings attached. I'd say you'd never hear from him again if you were to have sex with him right away.

March 22, 2015

I've spoken to many men on pof. Most of them have only wanted sex. *Some of them however have said they want to sleep with me first and then see how things go. What the hell does that mean? Sounds like they are just trying to get into my pants and then disappear. Am I correct? What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

*The next time somebody says something like to you, just enjoy a really good belly-laugh.

If you laugh so much that you pee your pants, thats ok.

March 22, 2015

I've spoken to many men on pof. Most of them have only wanted sex. Some of them however have said they want to sleep with me first and then see how things go. What the hell does that mean? Sounds like they are just trying to get into my pants and then disappear. Am I correct? What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

It means they are immature. It also means that whichever way it goes they get sex at least once. If they were mature they'd realise that getting to know a person is the first stage. If you have sex straight off, they haven't had chance to get to know you and become fond of you as a person. Basically, it's much easier to dump a woman who might want a proper relationship if you don't know her very well.

March 22, 2015

I think some guys go, sex first, because they think that their is no real substance on POF.

IIf you think that under all that sex talk, they might be a good guy, try breaking through that.

If not, just move on

March 22, 2015

POF is terrible, I stopped using it years ago. I get it's free, but it is the worst. The guys you are refering to are desperate & act like that. 1 out 100 it works, they don't have any concept on courting & or dating. They are just desperate for sex, its pretty sad if you ask me.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Price2Play

March 22, 2015

It means they're stupid.

March 22, 2015

Well, at least they are being honest, wanting sex first. Instead of tricking women on a first date with dinner at "his" place or watching a movie/cuddling at his nice cozy apartment which is slang for lets have sex first=played for a fool. I can't count the number of times where guys have used this line on me.

March 22, 2015

Well, at least they are being honest, wanting sex first. Instead of tricking women on a first date with dinner at "his" place or watching a movie/cuddling at his nice cozy apartment which is slang for lets have sex first=played for a fool. I can't count the number of times where guys have used this line on me.

No, they're just dumb. 100% of men would want sex first if it was possible. Sure, some woman out there are just looking for hookups and will have sex on the first date. How many of these woman would still sleep with a man if he straight up told them that he was looking for sex first? I'd guess it's somewhere around 0.6%

March 22, 2015

You're right on.

Guys who say stuff like that generally only want the sex with no strings attached. I'd say you'd never hear from him again if you were to have sex with him right away.

But what if the sex is really off the charts? In that case, of course he will want to see her again! Right?

Okay, I'm a little drunk right now so this may sound a little hokey, but don't men connect with a woman though sex? Don't they fall in love with a woman through sex? Weren't they just being honest when saying that?

Women can't have sex without emotion, men can't feel truly emotional until sex.

I read that somewhere. Is this totally off?

I mean seriously, if ALL they wanted was sex, would they really be so stupid to say something like that??

Think about it!

Edited March 22, 2015 by katiegrl

March 22, 2015

I've spoken to many men on pof. Most of them have only wanted sex. Some of them however have said they want to sleep with me first and then see how things go. What the hell does that mean? Sounds like they are just trying to get into my pants and then disappear. Am I correct? What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

When they say that you can tell them "I might have been born at night, but not last night" And then delete them.

March 22, 2015

What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

It means I want sex and I'm too cheap to pay for it. Therefore I will try and get free sex off you while making it seem like a relationship is a possibility.

Long story short - total waste of your time.

March 22, 2015

But what if the sex is really off the charts? In that case, of course he will want to see her again! Right?

Don't they fall in love with a woman through sex? Weren't they just being honest when saying that?

Women can't have sex without emotion, men can't feel truly emotional until sex.

Is this totally off?

Yes this is totally off, but it is also a common train of thought for women, which is why they end up continually disappointed. You cannot capture a man with your vagina...kay. No-one has a particularly special vagina that will instantly make a man looking for sex into boyfriend material. But it's a myth some women continue to feed to themselves because....well I don't know why really. I suspect it's because they just don't want to face up to the reality of things.

March 22, 2015

But what if the sex is really off the charts? In that case, of course he will want to see her again! Right?

Okay, I'm a little drunk right now so this may sound a little hokey, but don't men connect with a woman though sex? Don't they fall in love with a woman through sex? Weren't they just being honest when saying that?

Women can't have sex without emotion, men can't feel truly emotional until sex.

I read that somewhere. Is this totally off?

I mean seriously, if ALL they wanted was sex, would they really be so stupid to say something like that??

Think about it!

I partially agree with this, maybe Im an odd ball. I was raised old fashion so sometimes I don't even go for a kiss on 1st date, never mind sex. Now yes in my younger days, a couple times. A prefer to know the woman & have somewhat of a connection. 3-6 dates is probably my average. More and more woman are starting to think sex right away is the norm, I dated 1 girl that busted my balls for holding out until date 4 or 5? She end up not being gf material anyway.

Intimate sex with a woman yes I'll fall for her if we are compatible, technically it's all brain chemicals but thats a different story.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Price2Play

March 22, 2015

Yes this is totally off, but it is also a common train of thought for women, which is why they end up continually disappointed. You cannot capture a man with your vagina...kay. No-one has a particularly special vagina that will instantly make a man looking for sex into boyfriend material. But it's a myth some women continue to feed to themselves because....well I don't know why really. I suspect it's because they just don't want to face up to the reality of things.

Oh I didn't mean to suggest men fall in love "because" of great sex, only that they can go along dating a woman for weeks..or even months ....be having a swell time and all that....but still not feel emotionally connected if there is not much happening in the "physical affection" department.

That they need that physical affection (NOT necessary intercourse)....in order to actually "feel" that emotional connection with a woman.

Whereas for women, the emotional connection comes first...before they're comfortable getting physical (again not necessarily intercourse).

I read this is true in the many "relationship" books and articles I read when I was younger about dating and human behavior ... so maybe that is how other women came to believe this also.

Again, not talking about intercourse per se ....only that a man values and needs a certain amount of physical affection in order to develop a true emotional connection.

Personally, I'm not sure whether it's true or not...which is why I asked here. I thought the men could shed some light on this "myth" if that's in fact what it is.

March 22, 2015

You know what?

It seems to me that women are just pissed now because they don't get the good end of the deal like they used to.

What does that mean?

That means before there was sex..;

Men used to take Women on dates,

Men used to listen to Women's problems,

Men would help a woman expand her social circle and make new contacts

Men would be romantic...

Men would do all these things to court a woman,

and a woman would show that like a man, she is going to be a commodity to the relationship. She might show her value by being invested in his dream. She would make his life easier by running errands for him, getting on with his parents, making him feel like a man, cooking for him (yeesh)...

But guess what happened.

Somewhere along the line Women got told that they were special snowflakes (all of you) and that the WORLD needs to CATER to YOUR needs and all you have to do is sit on your fat asses and eat applebees and some guy (somewhere) will come and bow down on the altar of your absolute 'greatness' because you know. Your a woman and you "deserve it" without having to lift a finger.

So what seems to me is that Men are just doing what they know is the logical thing for them. I'm gonna say that out of the 20 women I've dated in the last year and a half. I would say, only 1 of them has barely scratched the surface of what I'm looking for in a girl. Self-obsessed, self-absorbed little princesses are out there getting their asses handed to them, because they don't understand what it is to provide 'value' to anyone else's life.

So guess what happened. The average guy these days sees that it isn't really what you do for a woman that seems to get her attention. Why is that?

Well, the sensitive emotional guy who asked you out when you were younger wasn't very attractive physically, he didn't have much status and he wasn't as charming as you would have liked at the time. So you rejected him ...and So what did you do later that day? oh that's right, you went and had sex with the football quarter-back on the first night you met. You know, the guy who doesn't really care about you, the guy who is hot and dumb, you know - the guy who spins your emotions.

So what guys realize is that it's more about what "he has" opposed to what he can do for the girl. In this case it's a guy's status or 'fame'.

But let's continue,

All I hear is women complaining that guys use them for sex, then leave. But you women use guys ALL the TIME.

All women have a whole bunch of guys they use constantly. It's for their own self-validation. They have guy "friends" who they talk to and receive compliments from. They have guys around who will take them out for lunch and listen to them bitch about their impotent crack dealer of a boyfriend who's living on welfare and can't get it up in the sack. You'll call this guy on a daily basis and he'll hold your hair while you vomiting at a party after taking too many tequila shots.

So guess what, YOU take what you WANT out of a relationship and leave what you DON'T want (Just like guys are).

Men are taking SEX out of a girl and leaving what they DON'T want. A relationship.

If you're unreliable, high maintenance, and who is just going to complain all the time, it ain't MATTER how good even your sex-game is. You've already lost. Us guys DO NOT NEED someone who is going to bring us problems and more trouble. That's what we are constantly trying to defeat. We are trying to eradicate dysfunction and create ORDER. Yes I know you women can't function without some kind of DRAMAAAAAA, but you gotta understand men are different from women. No matter how much your male feminist/feminist bulldyke talk about how men and women are just social constructs and everything is socialization blah blah blah.

It also comes down to the fact that marriage has no economic advantages anymore, especially with the kind of attitudes women today (relegating men to their man caves because the kids need more space then him) and the divorce courts (which typically favour women) which means you'll be a slave to an alimony cheque for the rest of your lives.

So at long last let me just say to end this post is. Guys try to get sex early because that's what WE want. We want to sample the goods and see if this is going to be a good thing. Stop trying to analyse us based on your own romantic interpretations of relationships. That's your problem!

Steps to take

1) Develop an interesting personality.

2) Bath and groom yourself.

3) Be interested in a Man's dream.

3) Ask interesting questions and be interested in other people.

4) Build value by providing 'something' that will be 'beneficial' to a Man.

Okay I know I may have sounded obnoxious while writing this post but I really do care but I think most of this will fly over most women's heads because they are so stuck up their own butts. The guys get this and understand this. Also don't listen to your feminist friends or else you'll just end up bitter and lonely for the rest of your life because it was easiar to hate men then understand their needs.

March 22, 2015

Oh I didn't mean to suggest men fall in love "because" of great sex, only that they can go along dating a woman for weeks..or even months ....be having a swell time and all that....but still not feel emotionally connected if there is not much happening in the "physical affection" department.

That they need that physical affection (NOT necessary intercourse)....in order to actually "feel" that emotional connection with a woman.

Whereas for women, the emotional connection comes first...before they're comfortable getting physical (again not necessarily intercourse).

I read this is true in the many "relationship" books and articles I read when I was younger about dating and human behavior ... so maybe that is how other women came to believe this also.

Again, not talking about intercourse per se ....only that a man values and needs a certain amount of physical affection in order to develop a true emotional connection.

Personally, I'm not sure whether it's true or not...which is why I asked here. I thought the men could shed some light on this "myth" if that's in fact what it is.

while I think it's true that, sure, men need physical affection to be in love, sleeping with men before you know their intentions and character is incredibly unproductive. Most of the time, the ones who are just out for sex will not change their minds. I think it's not true that you can't change their minds or make an as.s. into a man of character through your golden vagina. I heard women say bow good they are in bed and hope that skill set will convince a man she's a keeper. Unfortunately, most often that not it doesn't work that way and these are generally women who think that all they can bring to the table is sex, amd don't value themselves high enough.

Larry, your post is very hateful. Guess what? Forget what women brought value or not. You are most definitely not long term relationship material. If you get a girlfriend ever, I'm sorry for her.

March 22, 2015

I've spoken to many men on pof. Most of them have only wanted sex. Some of them however have said they want to sleep with me first and then see how things go. What the hell does that mean? Sounds like they are just trying to get into my pants and then disappear. Am I correct? What do you think it means when men say they want to sleep with you first and then see how things go?

It means they want to see if you are sexually attracted to them, or if you are interesting in meeting-up with them to get free food/drinks/movie tickets. Plenty of women found on POF are just looking for attention. The men you're talking to have probably been used and now want to figure out of the bat if by meeting you they are going to get what they want(sex), or if they are going to be exploited yet again.

March 22, 2015

Larry, your post is very hateful. Guess what? Forget what women brought value or not. You are most definitely not long term relationship material. If you get a girlfriend ever, I'm sorry for her.

If you strip out the negative tone of Larry's post, I think the idea is worthy of discussion. A more polite way of paraphrasing would be that men are now starting to approach relationships in the same way as women have been. That is, prove to me that you are worthy first, and if you are, then I will let you into my life.

March 22, 2015

You know what?

It seems to me that women are just pissed now because they don't get the good end of the deal like they used to.

What does that mean?......

This is a brilliant post and completely defines the argument from a man's point of view.

I agree with the 1 in 100 thing of Online Dating or POF but far too often and 99% of the time all you see as a man is the same thing. Generic boring crap, descriptions of what they believe the perfect man should be to them and headlines passive aggressive in nature or seeking materialistic qualities.

These things make us run a bloody mile or just go into the conversation looking for sex.

Are there any good guys left?

There is no right or wrong on PoF it is all about being above everyone else and being head strong enough to filter the 99 people to find the 1. I have a date on Wednesday with a girl who shows the qualities of being that 1. She did not falter at any point when I started shooting arrows at her when most would either block me in a huff and a puff or claim that I did not fall into line as a man similar to what they expect.

Edited March 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed off topic comments

March 22, 2015

In other words I maybe over stepped the mark a few times with the things I said to test the boundaries. I got a taste of my own medicine back.

There is nothing more attractive than a woman who is independent, stands her ground and gives as good as she gets.

If you want a good guy, you need to first be able to handle a good guy and not settle for a little boy.

Edited March 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited out quote since it was deleted as off topic, this we'll leave.

March 22, 2015

I would assume they are bitter from bad experiences, and/or just generally unromantic. Both of which are a turn off.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Popsicle

March 22, 2015

In other words I maybe over stepped the mark a few times with the things I said to test the boundaries. .

I'm unclear what you mean about the arrows.

Are you saying that when you are attracted to a woman, you like to throw out put-downs and want her to throw put downs back to you, kind of like a lively competition?

Seeing if she is strong enough to call you on your bullshII? Boundaries of what?

March 22, 2015

Larry's post was not angry, nor bitter, as people like to say someone is when they don't like what the other person is saying. Being a long-term relationship potential is no compliment at all. So I don't see why you are trying to make the guy feel hurt by saying ''you are not long-term material.''

I remember when women would tell me that I was ''relationship material'', or ''marriage material''. That meant that i was seen as more of as a provider than a lover. Naw, Larry got the rigth idea.

Are you saying that when you are attracted to a woman, you like to throw out put-downs and want her to throw put downs back to you, kind of like a lively competition?

Nope. I try to see if she's looking for a provider or for a guy to have fun with. If she's open to my advances from the get-go: She's attracted to me.

If she acts like she's a conservative, ''good girl'' I move on. Its probably what larry does.

I would assume they are bitter from bad experiences, and/or just generally unromantic. Both of which are a turn off.

Guy gets hit by a car because he doesn't look both ways.

is he bitter because from that moment on he'll look both ways everytime he has to cross a street?

No. Same principle applies here. Guys like the OP is bothered by are men who've been used and now they want to get theirs before they give what women want. Nothing wrong with that.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Argos

March 22, 2015

I'm unclear what you mean about the arrows.

Are you saying that when you are attracted to a woman, you like to throw out put-downs and want her to throw put downs back to you, kind of like a lively competition?

Seeing if she is strong enough to call you on your bullshII? Boundaries of what?

Hypothetical.

But do I need to explain myself to someone who takes something out of context and turns it into something negative?

Nope.

Sign In

Sex first

Recommended Posts

LoverOfDance

TunaCat

Satu

spiderowl

Assada

Price2Play

Jame22

Bobbi7

Jame22

katiegrl

BluEyeL

Buddhist

Buddhist

Price2Play

katiegrl

Larry56

BluEyeL

Argos

crosswordfiend

Dallers

Dallers

Popsicle

Auspecial

Argos

Dallers

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...