viciouscancer Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 why do women choose to play hard to get when they know they want to be with u? vicious
fundamental Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 They play hard to get because they don't want to be got--meaning they dont like you. Or, they play hard to get to be a challenge thinking it will work on every guy.
alphamale Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by viciouscancer why do women choose to play hard to get when they know they want to be with u? it is the law of supply and demand. the shorter the "supply", the higher the "demand". in other words, what is less available will be more wanted.
Pocky Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Because they come on LS and are told to play hard to get. I have no idea. The thought of participating in these antiquated dating rituals is so tiresome to me. I'm so glad I'm not single.
Charisma Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Sometimes it's a way to find out whether the guy is really into you or just fooling around. I think we want men to prove to us that they really do like us and this comes by offering up the challenge of playing hard to get.
GirlDown Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 because if we are honest and say we like you and maybe want to be with you, you make us feel like clingy moron aliens until we lose interest. then you want us. but by that time we're over you. just kidding, i don't know. any guy i've ever said "i like you" to proposed immediately. yeah, i am that incredible.
Sparky Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 This is just a hypothesis: Because they want to see if you are the "alpha type". What I mean is, dominant, confident, proud, leadership and persistent. It's like a test. If you pass, you win the prize. If you lose, well... figure it out. Originally posted by RecordProducer Because it's fun! But it's mean!
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 I don't think it is to be mean. I think the reason varies depending on the person, how much she likes the guy, and what her cultural ideas about courtship are like. It could be because she is interested in him but is not sure yet how interested, so she doesn't want to make him think she's gung-ho into him. It could be because she adheres to the cultural idea that men should be the pursuers and women the pursued. Since she can't pursue the guy, she will signal to him that she might like him, but make him pursue her. Thirty or more years ago, this ideal was very prevalent in a lot of places. Not being "easy" was a matter of keeping your self-respect and making sure she preserved her reputation. A girl in that era better play hard to get lest she seem like the town loosey-goosey! It could be, like RP said, BECAUSE IT'S FUN!! The back and forth dance of flirtation and courtship IS fun, and having had that experience together can make people more comfortable with each other faster. When I think of this kind of a hard-to-get game, I think of Simba and Nala in The Lion King-- two cubs chasing, pouncing on, and running from each other, and eventually falling in love. I suppose a few women do it because they really are stuck-up you-know-whats who think everyone is beneath them, and they need a man to prove he's "a man" by pursuing her 'til he gets her, like Sparky said. Who'd want to be with such a person?
Sparky Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by Tamed Wildflower I suppose a few women do it because they really are stuck-up you-know-whats who think everyone is beneath them, and they need a man to prove he's "a man" by pursuing her 'til he gets her, like Sparky said. Who'd want to be with such a person? Yeah, I know! And THEN there are some REAL you-know-whats who you TRY to pursue, and they see it as perverted and obsessive. Then they scream at you, and show some really hateful emotions when they talk about you. My god! What the hell are with these people?!
HoldOn Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Sometimes it's a way to find out whether the guy is really into you or just fooling around. I think we want men to prove to us that they really do like us and this comes by offering up the challenge of playing hard to get. That's why. Also, When a girl throws herself at a guy, he quickly feels cornered and smothered and scared. this happens all the time. Plus, if you make the guy put in a little effort, then you know he is not after a quick f--k. Also, it works. ( you men are so predictable!)
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by Sparky Yeah, I know! And THEN there are some REAL you-know-whats who you TRY to pursue, and they see it as perverted and obsessive. Then they scream at you, and show some really hateful emotions when they talk about you. My god! What the hell are with these people?! Yeah, in the US at least, we have a real problem with knowing the difference between flirtation/courtship and harassment. I have known several people who have come to the US from other countries as adults who have commented on what a distrustful society we have, and how glad they are that they already had a spouse when they came otherwise they would have been terribly lonely, and that they have no idea how we Americans find people to date. The problem is that we have lost our old social norms regarding dating at precisely a time when we have become very aware of sexual harassment as an issue. If a man pursues a woman in a way that is respectful (ie: leaving room for her to decline without appearing impolite), then the women should simply decline, without putting the poor guy down by acting as if he is perverted and obsessive. (Not to discount the fact that some guys-- and some girls for that matter-- do become disturbingly obsessive.)
guitarplayer Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 ya well most girls that play "hard to get" use Rechargables Batteries anyways,lol
Cecelius Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn That's why. Also, When a girl throws herself at a guy, he quickly feels cornered and smothered and scared. this happens all the time. Plus, if you make the guy put in a little effort, then you know he is not after a quick f--k. Also, it works. ( you men are so predictable!) A smart man doesn't feel threatened -- he's just disappointed. The easier she attaches (emotionally or physically) for you, the less valuable she seems. if a man shows up on the second date with a hand written poem asking you to marry him, doesn't that make it seem like he's not all that big a deal to get? BOTH sides have some version of "too much, too soon" Also, some quantity of that friction, the uncertainty, the "chase" is sexy as hell. Girls know this. So should men. The worthy girls are the ones that weren't landed so quick. Lastly, girls do it to test YOU for a reason -- how much of their sh-t are you willing to put up with? If she plays hard to get and you come running along all the time like a puppy, you look chumpy.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Honestly, how many men play hard to get, though? You rarely hear about a guy doing that. Should more of us make ourselvles less accessible? Ladies - would you find it fun to chase a guy around? Because most of us find it downright frustrating.
HoldOn Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam Honestly, how many men play hard to get, though? You rarely hear about a guy doing that. Should more of us make ourselvles less accessible? Ladies - would you find it fun to chase a guy around? Because most of us find it downright frustrating. That's because men and women are different. Men are pursuers, women are receivers.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn Men are pursuers. And most of the time, we aren't even good at that. Lol. The few times I've seen a guy try to play hard to get, the woman just assumed he had lost interest. I kinda question if the "chase 'em" strategy works equally well both ways.
westernxer Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 We have too many available men around. A severe man shortage would lead to a dynamic shift in the dating pool... women would be at our feet night and day.
Bubbles Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Listen....there are a lot of freaks out there. How a man acts while he is persuing the female says a lot to us about their personallity. Are they patient? = does he have self control? Will he send me flowers? = is he romantic? When he speaks to me is he finding out about me the person or is he only interested in a date/sex? = What are his true intentions? All of these above statements could be applied. Yes, it is true that it is frustrating but keep in mind that we are watching your reactions and judging wether you are a person that we would feel safe with and would like to spend time with. We women have much more to fear than men do. Yes there are snotty girls who just do this as a game - they want to see how much money is going to come out of your pocket.......but as for the rest of us? Usually we are taking the time to "check you out" JMHO, bubbles
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles Listen....there are a lot of freaks out there. How a man acts while he is persuing the female says a lot to us about their personallity. Are they patient? = does he have self control? Will he send me flowers? = is he romantic? When he speaks to me is he finding out about me the person or is he only interested in a date/sex? = What are his true intentions? All of these above statements could be applied. Yes, it is true that it is frustrating but keep in mind that we are watching your reactions and judging wether you are a person that we would feel safe with and would like to spend time with. We women have much more to fear than men do. Yes there are snotty girls who just do this as a game - they want to see how much money is going to come out of your pocket.......but as for the rest of us? Usually we are taking the time to "check you out" JMHO, bubbles Bubbles wins the "nailed it on the head" award for the day. I think these are all very valid points. Sometimes it feels like we're being tested, but we should be - relationships are a big deal.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by Tamed Wildflower It could be, like RP said, BECAUSE IT'S FUN!! The back and forth dance of flirtation and courtship IS fun, and having had that experience together can make people more comfortable with each other faster. Originally posted by HoldOn That's because men and women are different. Men are pursuers, women are receivers. Exactly. It's fun, it's getting to know each other and it's part of the time-honoured courtship ritual. And men who are successful flirts also play hard to get - we keep a degree of mystery and reserve in the way we take initiative. Nothing is a bigger turn-off for a girl than constant drooling over her in the initial stages. She needs the "will he, won't he?".
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Nothing is a bigger turn-off for a girl than constant drooling over her in the initial stages. She needs the "will he, won't he?". Man, did I learn that lesson. These days, I'm more of a magician. Sometimes I'm around, and sometimes I vanish. Keeps them on their toes. Lol.
norcaldivr Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 I think there is some truth to what was said but playing hard to get should not be confused with not showing signs of interest. If a woman wants to go slow but displays signs of interest I will be patient, up to a point. When there are no signs of interest then it it the time to cut bait. What works out well for me is to watch for signals she is ready to move forward. If she says things are moving too fast I respect that and say something to the effect of "I only want to move forward if you feel ready" then back off. More times than not she will then be the one to move forward and usually sooner rather than later. I think women are very leery of guys that just want their bodies and by letting them feel in control they overcome this fear at their own speed. This is not to be confused with not taking the inititive but reading the signals and then acting accordingly. When they realize the guy is not just a horndog looking for a quick f&^k they will want to become more intimate. Of course this is only true if there is an interest on her part. If not then it's time to move on. Not an expert by any means but I know what works for me.
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