Do you think marriage is a huge lie? No such thing as "soulmates?"

[Bobbi7]

I think people just "settle" for good. And once they settle for what they have, they obliviously shut themselves out from being available and if someone along the way rocks their socks off, they have to fight back because of their permanent partner. The honeymoon phase is great for the first few years and then what? Surely, they get bored of each other, the sex must be boring. Temptation is right around the corner, but they aren't willing to take the risk. And if one partner passes away, I'm sure they will start dating someone and have a relationship with them.

[d0nnivain]

That's a very cynical view. Yes the HM phase can be short-lived & it unfortunately is the stuff the write movies & books about. However, the true love phase is deep, more solid & so much better than the dizzying off balance feeling of a new love.

 

 

Soulmates are a crock. Anybody who thinks that the HM phase lasts forever & is always looking for the next big thing will be repeatedly disappointed but if you allow yourself to connect with your partner, you will be rewarded.

 

 

My marriage is one of the best things that ever happened.

 

 

I stayed with the guy I thought was my soulmate for 12 years even though that relationship was incredibility dysfunctional. However the sex was always phenomenal even in the end. It was part of the reason I stayed so long even when I knew I needed to get out.

[Gloria25]

So, do you mean marriage = soulmate?

 

I don't believe marriage was intended to be a union of "soulmates".

 

I also don't believe in "soulmates". While Eve was made from a rib of Adam, doesn't mean that all women are out there trying to find the "rib" they came from.

 

I think marriages fail cuz of:

 

-People who believe in "soulmates"

-People who aren't ready for marriage.

-People who don't know what to look for in a husband/wife

-People who don't do pre-marital counseling.

-People who after marriage don't work on/nurture the RL.

[truncated]

I think another reason some marriages fail is because people half expect them to stay in the honeymoon phase with little or no effort on their part.

 

 

Some of that comes form the steady diet of Disney romances and instant gratification we are fed. Real life is not like that.

 

The idea of soul mates in nonsense. Real and true love doesn't just happen, it takes nurturing on the part of both spouses for it to reach it's full potential, and often, we don't even really think about it. It's just there, and every so often it sort of smacks you in the face all over again.

 

think of it like a violet you buy at a florist shop. It's blooming and pretty, but if you don't nurture it and you just leave it, it withers and dies.

[blackcat777]

I've always thought of a soulmate as someone who helps you grow, and that you share a broadband connection with --sexual, emotional, spiritual. It's not like there's JUST ONE soulmate out there, but they're definitely hard to find, and it's worth learning relationship skills to keep them around past the honeymoon phase.