Bobbi7 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I'm in my 30's, single, no kids, never married. I guess I don't mind being single, but its hard to feel bad about myself where I'm constantly surrounded around married women-mostly at work. At work its hard to keep away from all that chat about their husbands, etc, etc. And its bad enough some are willing to be nosy and tell me that I need to get married. At work, its mostly where my feelings of being single sucks is at. I'm glad that my parents don't pester me to settle down. I've been in the dating scene for a few years now and just feel indifferent about it.
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I stayed positive. I enjoyed my work. I spent quality time with friends. I got involved in things I cared about & I pampered myself. Even if I was facing another Saturday night alone, I'd buy a nice bottle of wine, make sure I had a good book, get something delicious for dinner (which usually involved ordered in because I'm not a good cook). I'd light a fire, snuggle under a throw, have my dog at my feet & think I don't have it that bad. 11
preraph Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 The reason you feel that way at work is because you have to be careful what you say to those people and you can't just cut them out of your life. When I started my office job some years ago, two sisters there were relentless about trying to make me feel "less than" for being old and single and no kids -- yet this is pretty much what I chose, whereas they were both teenage knockups in a culture that enabled that. I was polite about it at first and tried to give them my honest reasons but after awhile, I just changed tactics when it didn't stop and began saying what I was going to do when I left work, simple things they could never do, like "go home and go back to bed," "go out to eat," "go get my hair done and maybe go shopping," and before long they quit bothering me. 4
No Limit Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I spend my time with friends or hobbies - although hobbies is currently down to internet stuff and walking the dog mostly because most people I know have their exams right now. Personally I question how you can be happy in a relationship when girls like those from my city college tell stories like "I wanted a minijob in that restaurant but then didn't go because my BF didn't want me to work there because he thinks I'm around too many guys there".
Methodical Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 In many instances the grass will appear greener on the other side. Married people sometimes fall into monotonous routines that become boring and complacent. Some stop spending time with their friends because they feel guilty or that they should be at home with their spouse. Marriage shouldn't present a ball-and-chain lifestyle. You are choosing to spend your life with someone but that doesn't mean you should lose your identity. However, that is exactly what happens in many instances. Keep in mind that some of these co-workers may also be a bit jealous that you are footloose and fancy free to date whomever you choose, make spontaneous plans, have nothing "holding you down," and you never have to check in with someone to make sure they don't mind, etc. Conversely, there are single people who feel destined to a life of lonesomeness because all their friends are married or are in ltr. In their minds, they fear facing a life without companionship or that nobody will want them, and the older they get the more stressed over a solitary lifestyle they become. Do what's right for you! Never allow peer pressure to influence or second guess what is right for you. Sometimes it's hard to be content with where you are in life because you look around and see all the opportunities others have but fail to see your own. If you are happy being single, then express your opinion as enthusiastically as your co-workers express theirs over being married. 6
regine_phalange Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Things are simple. I stay happy by simply appreciating the fact that I'm not trapped and miserable in a relationship with the wrong man. At the same time, I keep wanting to meet someone awesome because that would simply be great. 8
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Things are simple. I stay happy by simply appreciating the fact that I'm not trapped and miserable in a relationship with the wrong man. At the same time, I keep wanting to meet someone awesome because that would simply be great. Ditto! I'd love to meet someone amazing. If I don't then my life is pretty good as it is. I'd rather have a good life than an unhappy one with the wrong guy. 2
Toodaloo Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Ditto! I'd love to meet someone amazing. If I don't then my life is pretty good as it is. I'd rather have a good life than an unhappy one with the wrong guy. Hand up! Can I join this club please??? I am actually far happier being single. This whole relationship lark is such a hassle and to be perfectly blunt I don't see why I should bother unless they really are a fantastic guy. I miss sex, I miss the physical contact. But my local shop is only a 5 minute walk away and they sell batteries! I have friends, family, work, my home, plans, dreams and adventures... why give that up or side line it just for some bloke who can't be bothered all that much? Sod the dross - I can't be bothered. If and when I "settle down" again its going to be with someone who is absolutely amazing. 3
ASG Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Ditto! I'd love to meet someone amazing. If I don't then my life is pretty good as it is. I'd rather have a good life than an unhappy one with the wrong guy. +1! I feel the exact same. The only time I feel a bit deflated by being single is because I really want to have kids. I have decided, however, that I will make that happen, even if on my own. But it would definitely be more comfortable if I had someone to share it with! Other than that, I'm all good!! 1
loveweary11 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Have a hard time understanding how this one is divided by genders. Works exactly the same way for men. 4
loveweary11 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Easier access to casual sex partners But when I read this post... I'd love to meet someone amazing. If I don't then my life is pretty good as it is. I'd rather have a good life than an unhappy one with the wrong guy. ... which most of the ladies seem to agree with, I don't see any difference between my own perception and theirs. I coul have easily posted the same thing, substituting "girl" for "guy" as the last word. If you're in a metropolitan area, you can get as much sex as you want without a girlfriend. In my experience it's all the girls want to do. They have "no room for relationships, just room to hit it" LMAO . You could also, as a guy, pay for it, if times get desperate and Palmela Handerson just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm not sure it's so much their easier access to sex (you can get endless easy access if you figure it out), but it's that they can live without it longer than us.
pteromom Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I'm in my 30's, single, no kids, never married. I guess I don't mind being single, but its hard to feel bad about myself where I'm constantly surrounded around married women-mostly at work. At work its hard to keep away from all that chat about their husbands, etc, etc. And its bad enough some are willing to be nosy and tell me that I need to get married. At work, its mostly where my feelings of being single sucks is at. I'm glad that my parents don't pester me to settle down. I've been in the dating scene for a few years now and just feel indifferent about it. Do you WANT to be single? Since you are dating, I assume you would like to find someone, and maybe have a family? If that is the case, your married co-workers are your best asset. When they tell you to get married, ask them "Sounds good. Know any good men?" Their husbands may have single friends who don't do the dating scene - good men who you would never otherwise meet. As far as being happy, that's always about being appreciative of what you have vs. focusing on what you don't have. There are a lot of benefits to being single - you don't have to answer to anyone. You can do what you want when you want. You can spend your money the way you want to. You can sit around in your pajamas binge-watching Netflix while the dishes are piled in the sink, and nobody will harass you about it. You can take off on a road trip with your best friend and not have to check in with anyone. Focus on what you have. And keep striving for what you want. And never let anyone else define what your life should be. It's yours - and you can live it however you want. 2
Diezel Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Stop putting too much stock into whatever anyone else's perception of how you should be living is...it doesn't matter. You can be happy single, you can be happy married. What matters is how YOU feel about it, regardless of everyone else's feelings. 5
Recommended Posts