CalvinM Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I wasn't sure how to preface this, so I'll just state the facts as they were told to me. My gf (30) broke up with her ex about 8 months ago. He's going through what she has called a depression and has moved back home to BC. Her other dog C is well behaved, calm and really affectionate. E on the other hand is unpredictable and hyper. I can tell she loves both dogs, but C fits her temperament more. My initial thought was that she's giving her ex the dog and cat to slowly sever the ties they have, and to motivate her ex to be more active, since E is very energetic (even walking her some days can be a struggle). She recently asked her brother if she could bring the dogs for a visit (he lives in Montréal, we live in Ottawa), he replied that C was more than welcome, but E would be too high strung to be around his kids. It all seems quite straight forward and logical to me on the surface, but is there the potential her ex might be trying to use the dog as leverage to win her back? They broke up because she didn't think they were on the same page, both mentally and in regards to having a family life. He also didn't make an effort to speak French, her mother tongue. Thoughts?
Buddhist Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) It all seems quite straight forward and logical to me on the surface, but is there the potential her ex might be trying to use the dog as leverage to win her back? They broke up because she didn't think they were on the same page, both mentally and in regards to having a family life. He also didn't make an effort to speak French, her mother tongue. Thoughts? So...this post is about you not trusting your girlfriend to make her own decisions about her love life and your blatant assumption that if he makes any moves to win her back, her going back to him is a certainty. Why not give your girlfriend some credit for having a brain of her own and ability to use it? Edited March 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed comments that were unproductive
Author CalvinM Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Haha, wow. No, I actually think she's amazing, but her ex strikes me as a real d-bag and from what I've heard about him, I can totally see him using the dog to hurt her. On the other hand, she told me about this yesterday and said she thought it would be good for him to have a motivating force in his life. They were together for four years, we've been together for a little over a month. Given those time frames, I think I'm perfectly within my rights as a human being to have certain uncertainties. None of which indicate to me at least a need to dump her.
Author CalvinM Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Thank you for editing the reply. I didn't say I wanted to immediately dump her. I'm just trying to be aware of the entire situation. I was in a similar situation when my ex of 3 years and I broke up. For the first month she used our cat to get me to see her more. He lived with me in our old house and she would send weekly messages asking how he was (despite my openness for her to use the spare key to come visit him, she rarely did).
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 It sounds to me like she's doing what is best for everybody. It's more about the animal's welfare, her desire not to have a high strung pet & a way to sever ties while simultaneously helping somebody she used to love. It's a good thing. Stop looking for evil where none exists. That's no way for you to live & has to be poisoning your life. 1
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