Maximboi23 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 It's me again with another post. Sorry for the posts. Just wanted to vent a little I guess. I really can't get her out of my head ever. She constantly seeps her way into my mind always. I went to the city tonight with friends and it was a party but I couldn't have fun. Everyone was dancing and drinking and having fun and I'm sitting down sad and depressed. We went to city together and coming here hurt me Badly. I was thinkin of her for the whole time. I hate to have this feeling but I miss her so much and I wish to God she was still by my side and I'm happy. I wish to God I never disappointed her and made her leave. I never meant to hurt her and have her leave me. She haunts my mind every day. I used to make her doctor appointments and take care of her and I am so sad that I worry if she is dpin ok and taking care of herself.
Starks Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I feel your pain. I went out for dinner and drinks with my brother and my sister last night and was miserable. I tried having fun with my familiy to get my mind of her but their bickering just annoyed the **** out of me. They even noticed and asked me why I was sad.
marcelo.santos Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Very sorry about your situation. I want to suggest you considering avoid drinking for while. Drinking in some cases could make you even more depressed - Alcohol is a depressant and may make more difficulty for you to move on.
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Thanks guys for your replies. It's so hard moving on from her. I have never had a hard time like this in my many past relationships. She was so different. We clicked so well together and now I have lost her. I really thought she was the one and I loved every inch of her. Maybe because we were so good together and I realized I loved this girl to death. I hate how things tear two people so in love apart. Our times keep rewinding in my head over and over and over again. It's not getting any easier as it is reaching the 5 months mark. I always wanted to take care of her and her son. I did everything I could to make sure she is healthy and all her stuff in order. I loved taking care of her. I wish to God she is taking care of herself and her health. I don't really drink much. I went to party to get my mind off her but it brought all memories ten fold. Jenna please forgive me if you ever read this one day. I loved you since the day I saw your face and held your hand. Your the only one I ever want. I only wanted to make you happy and I failed and disappointed you so many times. Please forgive me I can't stop loving you.
NC-Thomas Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) You were in a relationship for 2.5 years and she was your fiance, correct? If you are 5 months post break-up I would expect the pain to be somewhat less, but definitely not non-stop. All I can see from your posts is that you are really putting her on that pedestal and haven't really moved on yet. It seems like you haven't reached / touched the anger phase after 5 months? Think to yourself: why am I obsessed with someone that threw me to the curb to rot? Do you really think she is thinking about you as much as you are about her? No. So screw her and invest your energy in usefull thinks that benefit you! You're telling me you disappointing her and made her leave? All you are doing is disappointing yourself by being stuck on her. Correct me if im wrong, but it seems to me you haven't made that active choice to move on, explaining why you are still in pain. Do everything in your power to be distracted and start working out bigtime! No time in this life to reconsider thinks out of your control! FORGIVE YOURSELF AND START ACCEPTING REALITY. You are valuable and deserve to be loved 100%. Edited March 21, 2015 by NC-Thomas
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Thanks nc Thomas. Appreciate Your encouraging words. I have move past past girlfriends I have had and felt better. But I believe this one was the one that will hurt me for a long time. She was the love of my life. I thought she was my other half. Always was fully myself around her and she tried so hard to understand me with all my depression and stuff. I keep playing the day we got engaged over and over and over again In my head. One time she left and we didn't talk for a few days and I played the song just a dream by nelly and it hit me so hard and that I loved her so much. We got back together and I was joking to her ever since then about that song. Now I am listening to that song nonstop and tears always fall hard. God I wish I can feel better. I feel so alone and upset. Life is so meaningless without her.
NC-Thomas Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) I keep playing the day we got engaged over and over and over again In my head. One time she left and we didn't talk for a few days and I played the song just a dream by nelly and it hit me so hard and that I loved her so much. We got back together and I was joking to her ever since then about that song. Now I am listening to that song nonstop and tears always fall hard. God I wish I can feel better. I feel so alone and upset. Life is so meaningless without her. Don't torture yourself with sentimental songs that take you down memory lane with her. Thats like buying her perfume and spraying it all over your house... I get the sense that you like to feel miserable? Ask yourself why you are doing this? You want to stay in emotional limbo?!! Do you want to move on? Cause your actions tell otherwise. On the other hand it might take some more time for you to heal. I was in a 2 year RS, not even engaged like you, and it took me a full 9/10 month to forget her. On the other hand, I made that decision to make the very best of it. When my ex dumped me I cried for 2 months. But after 3 months or so I decided I was better then this, I got so angry that I wanted to better myself and be my old good self again before I met her. So I started to plan my time like crazy and started dancing classes, boxing classes and make new friends. I even dated girls, allthough I still felt rotten inside. Are you engaging in new activities or social gatherings? Are you making the most of that new hobby? Are you planning your free time? Are you rekindling with that old highschool friend? It doesn't matter what you do, just get distracted man, even though you feel like crap. Sitting around in your house listening to nelly furtado is not aiding to your healing. Take your time and heal! But keep venting! Next post I'd like to hear about how you change your habits and started doing something you enjoy in life. Maybe take that class you liked? Or go on a holiday with a friend? Try that active habit of healing! It takes courage, but it will help you so much. You feel like you can do that? You will feel less alone and regain those inner strengths and belief's of confidence. Bottomline: accept you are feeling bad, but don't enhance that feeling! Instead make that active decision to heal and replenish your life with joy. Edited March 23, 2015 by NC-Thomas
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Don't torture yourself with sentimental songs that take you down memory lane with her. Thats like buying her perfume and spraying it all over your house... I get the sense that you like to feel miserable? Ask yourself why you are doing this? You want to stay in emotional limbo?!! Do you want to move on? Cause your actions tell otherwise. On the other hand it might take some more time for you to heal. I was in a 2 year RS, not even engaged like you, and it took me a full 9/10 month to forget her. On the other hand, I made that decision to make the very best of it. When my ex dumped me I cried for 2 months. But after 3 months or so I decided I was better then this, I got so angry that I wanted to better myself and be my old good self again before I met her. So I started to plan my time like crazy and started dancing classes, boxing classes and make new friends. I even dated girls, allthough I still felt rotten inside. Are you engaging in new activities or social gatherings? Are you making the most of that new hobby? Are you planning your free time? Are you rekindling with that old highschool friend? It doesn't matter what you do, just get distracted man, even though you feel like crap. Sitting around in your house listening to nelly furtado is not aiding to your healing. Take your time and heal! But keep venting! Next post I'd like to hear about how you change your habits and started doing something you enjoy in life. Maybe take that class you liked? Or go on a holiday with a friend? Try that active habit of healing! It takes courage, but it will help you so much. You feel like you can do that? You will feel less alone and regain those inner strengths and belief's of confidence. Bottomline: accept you are feeling bad, but don't enhance that feeling! Instead make that active decision to heal and replenish your life with joy. I know man. Thank you for your response. I can't escape the songs. Always on radio and my CDs in my car. I just can't believe she said she would never leave and loves me forever and then gets with someone else. I know it's my fault for letting her go and pushing her away and I guess she had enough. I have done a lot since she has left. I am always at gym working out for 3 hours 6 days a week. I have lost almost 25 lbs. I got a second job to keep me busy and I go out with friends at work to keep my mind active. But I can honestly say nothing is working. She is ways on my mind no matter what I am doing. I can't have peace. I believe I eve have dreams of her because I wake up sometimes feeling so alone. I will see what the next few weeks and months will bring. But I wish this never happened. I regret all I have done and will take a long time to forgive myself for letting go of my fiancé. My parents and friends always influenced my that out relationship wasn't good and kept telling me over and over again for years and I guess they got there wish. Next post I will try to show progress but who knows. With my severe depression and unhappiness who knows when that will be.
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Don't torture yourself with sentimental songs that take you down memory lane with her. Thats like buying her perfume and spraying it all over your house... I get the sense that you like to feel miserable? Ask yourself why you are doing this? You want to stay in emotional limbo?!! Do you want to move on? Cause your actions tell otherwise. On the other hand it might take some more time for you to heal. I was in a 2 year RS, not even engaged like you, and it took me a full 9/10 month to forget her. On the other hand, I made that decision to make the very best of it. When my ex dumped me I cried for 2 months. But after 3 months or so I decided I was better then this, I got so angry that I wanted to better myself and be my old good self again before I met her. So I started to plan my time like crazy and started dancing classes, boxing classes and make new friends. I even dated girls, allthough I still felt rotten inside. Are you engaging in new activities or social gatherings? Are you making the most of that new hobby? Are you planning your free time? Are you rekindling with that old highschool friend? It doesn't matter what you do, just get distracted man, even though you feel like crap. Sitting around in your house listening to nelly furtado is not aiding to your healing. Take your time and heal! But keep venting! Next post I'd like to hear about how you change your habits and started doing something you enjoy in life. Maybe take that class you liked? Or go on a holiday with a friend? Try that active habit of healing! It takes courage, but it will help you so much. You feel like you can do that? You will feel less alone and regain those inner strengths and belief's of confidence. Bottomline: accept you are feeling bad, but don't enhance that feeling! Instead make that active decision to heal and replenish your life with joy. You have power over your mind. You can choose not to wallow nor think about her but you choose to. Yes, it's painful but make a conscious effort to forget about her. She has left you. Why do you care for something who no longer cares about you? Be stronger and rid her from your mind. Thanks for Reply mikey.y power over my mind is beyond weak. Always focusing on the loss and the sadness I have been going through. I know she has turned her back on me. I made a mistake and everyone makes them and I guess some Guy came along and took her away. I get angry at that but it's not sufficient enough.
ApexTitanium Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I'm right there with you man, god damn miserable and I'm drinking like a mofo. I'm doing everything wrong. She wanted me to show I loved her in the R and I didn't do enough. She left me and NOW I'm showing her and literally trying to do anything and everything. I'm so stupid. She wants to be friends and doesn't want to lose me completely. She cried the whole night like a week ago when I told her I may be moving out of state and not coming back. She held me for like an hour tighter than she ever has. I'm messing up so bad. I'm always too late to do the right things for her and always at the wrong time. I'm so damn depressed and its killing me everyday. 5.5 years together, almost 3 months broken up and I'm still a complete mess.
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 I'm right there with you man, god damn miserable and I'm drinking like a mofo. I'm doing everything wrong. She wanted me to show I loved her in the R and I didn't do enough. She left me and NOW I'm showing her and literally trying to do anything and everything. I'm so stupid. She wants to be friends and doesn't want to lose me completely. She cried the whole night like a week ago when I told her I may be moving out of state and not coming back. She held me for like an hour tighter than she ever has. I'm messing up so bad. I'm always too late to do the right things for her and always at the wrong time. I'm so damn depressed and its killing me everyday. 5.5 years together, almost 3 months broken up and I'm still a complete mess. Sorry to hear your pain. I can't possibly imagine what it must feel like. I know it's not easy and I understand what you might be going through. It's not easy to deal with. Hope it works best with you and you find peace. I know it's heartbreaking to hear man. I am there with you
NC-Thomas Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I've made the mistake of not loving my GF enough too, she told me a dozen times, but I didn't listen enough. Now thats its over I smack myself in the head everyday. But I also learned that im just human and not perfect... So I try to be mild to myself for that mistake I made. Try to forgive myself too. Maybe you guys should do the same, otherwise it will destroy you from the inside. Also try to look at both sides of the breakup, there is never 1 side to blame.
Author Maximboi23 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 I've made the mistake of not loving my GF enough too, she told me a dozen times, but I didn't listen enough. Now thats its over I smack myself in the head everyday. But I also learned that im just human and not perfect... So I try to be mild to myself for that mistake I made. Try to forgive myself too. Maybe you guys should do the same, otherwise it will destroy you from the inside. Also try to look at both sides of the breakup, there is never 1 side to blame. Yeh man I totally understand. I think we get so used to rhem and get too comfortable that anything they say we don't put much effort into it because we think they love us unconditionally and won't go anywhere. Then someone else comes along and provides that for time being and they jump ships. I know the guy she's with will never do the things I did for her and her son. Even small stuff that I did makes me think I'm a good loving man. We all make mistakes and we get crapped on when we can'tearn in time.
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