elcabo Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Hi everyone, There’s a girl in one of my college classes which I am so interested in, but hardly talk to. I know I kind of failed by not approaching her early on, which is why I’m very nervous of doing it now. With like 9+ weeks gone by (in the semester), I’ve barely talked to her at all aside from an occasional assignment that required us to work in a group together (she sits in front of me). She gets there like 5-10 min before the class starts and leaves pretty quickly, limiting my time. So what should I do? I want to get her # to talk more but don’t want to be creepy or weird since we’ve seen each other so long and I’ve never really had a talk with her…
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 First ask to borrow her notes. Say you missed something in the lecture. Next ask to study for the next test or final together. 1
Argos Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Hi everyone, There’s a girl in one of my college classes which I am so interested in, but hardly talk to. I know I kind of failed by not approaching her early on, which is why I’m very nervous of doing it now. With like 9+ weeks gone by (in the semester), I’ve barely talked to her at all aside from an occasional assignment that required us to work in a group together (she sits in front of me). She gets there like 5-10 min before the class starts and leaves pretty quickly, limiting my time. So what should I do? I want to get her # to talk more but don’t want to be creepy or weird since we’ve seen each other so long and I’ve never really had a talk with her… This girl is going to think you are a creep. You've spent the majority of the school year without trying to get her and all of a sudden you want to show your interest? She's not interested in you. She would've made a move on you by now otherwise. She probably has a boyfriend, that's why she gets out of class so soon after it ends. Next time you meet a woman you are that interested in, approach her I guess. 1
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 If she hasn't turned around and smiled at you by now, she's not interested anyways.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) This girl is going to think you are a creep. You've spent the majority of the school year without trying to get her and all of a sudden you want to show your interest? She's not interested in you. She would've made a move on you by now otherwise. She probably has a boyfriend, that's why she gets out of class so soon after it ends. Next time you meet a woman you are that interested in, approach her I guess. Wrong way of thinking once again. 1) The majority of women out there still enjoy the male/female dynamic where the guy approaches. The fact that she hasn't approached him or "made a move" is because she is probably a typical girl that wants a man to be a man. 2) The worst mistake a guy can make is assuming a woman has a boyfriend. Why the hell do you think so many hot women end up online? They go out week after week and never get approached because guys assume they're taken. If you know she gets there 5-10 mins early, just show up 5-10 mins yourself. If I was in your situation, I'd walk up and compliment her on her outfit, hairstyle, etc.. Example - "Those jeans look great on you and inspired me to come talk to you." Then if she smiles or seems receptive - "I don't like mixing business with pleasure, but now that the semester's almost over, let's grab a coffee and get to know each other better. What's your number?" Girls respect guys that are honest, genuine, and just put it out there. All of this thinking of "she has a boyfriend" or "she'll think I'm a creep" etc is crap. Men approach women and take a chance. That's how it works. It's actually better that you'd do it at the end of the semester anyways, because if she turns you down, you don't have to be around her that much longer. Edited March 21, 2015 by fitnessfan365 3
Argos Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) Wrong way of thinking once again. 1) The majority of women out there still enjoy the male/female dynamic where the guy approaches. The fact that she hasn't approached him or "made a move" is because she is probably a typical girl that wants a man to be a man. 2) The worst mistake a guy can make is assuming a woman has a boyfriend. Why the hell do you think so many hot women end up online? They go out week after week and never get approached because guys assume they're taken. If you know she gets there 5-10 mins early, just show up 5-10 mins yourself. If I was in your situation, I'd walk up and compliment her on her outfit, hairstyle, etc.. Example - "Those jeans look great on you and inspired me to come talk to you." Then if she smiles or seems receptive - "I don't like mixing business with pleasure, but now that the semester's almost over, let's grab a coffee and get to know each other better. What's your number?" Girls respect guys that are honest, genuine, and just put it out there. All of this thinking of "she has a boyfriend" or "she'll think I'm a creep" etc is crap. Men approach women and take a chance. That's how it works. It's actually better that you'd do it at the end of the semester anyways, because if she turns you down, you don't have to be around her that much longer. The majority of young women are not waiting around for men to approach them like women in their 30s do. There are only a handful of men young women are attracted to. Some like surfers. Some like guys who look like they enjoy rave parties. Some women like men who are into star wars and show it. Doesn't matter. Since women can go months and months, even years without finding a guy to be attractive(beyond just noticing that he's physically attractive) they are going to approach the men they want. Wrong again. Most women are approached everyday by men they aren't attracted to. Most women usually want to go about their day without being approached by yet another guy who wants to get inside their pants. You know how young women dress-up and show up at 8 am with their make-up all perfect and what not? yes, that's to feel atttractive, it's not an open invitation for every dude to go up to her and try a move. Women do take an effort on their appearance to attract the men they want, but they aren't sitting around waiting for the guy to approach. In college, second year of college, my classmates went to meet the 1st year new students and right on the first day the girls(a few of them were models, and even those made a move) made it quite clear to the guys they were attracted to, that they were attracted to them by verbal communication. They didn't wait a whole school year to: 1) Wait until the guy developed the guts to approach. 2) Become so desperate for these dudes attention that they didn't have any other option but to approach them. Dude, no. Don't go up to a girl you've barely ever talked to and begin to compliment her. her clothes? Her hair? First of all, she might confuse the guy for being gay. Second, I don't see what he'd gain from that. ''Hey, you look good today.'' ''Thanks.'' ''So I was thinking. True, I barely ever talk to you despite the fact that I had class with you the whole school year, but I want to ask you out and....'' No. It won't work. Move on. Either approach the next girl you feel so attracted to as soon as you meet her, or some other guy will get bang her, or make it worthwhile her approaching you. By hitting the gym hard, dressing like a boss, having great personal hygiene and style. I guarantee you won't have to wonder if a particular girl is into you because even if she's not ten more, and more attractive than her will want you. And don't pay attention to this nonsense that ''most women still want men to be men.'' Christ. Most of the men I've met who are the most sucessful, sexually, and with the most attractive women don't even bother to ask for the woman's name. Edited March 21, 2015 by Argos
Assada Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Everything Argos is saying is weak. You are only a creep if you think YOU ARE a creep. Just ask her about the class, ask her what major she is, something like that 1
Argos Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Everything Argos is saying is weak. You are only a creep if you think YOU ARE a creep. Just ask her about the class, ask her what major she is, something like that Let me assure you that the girls in his class have already asserted if he's a creep or not. Creep = guy who isn't attractive and who now think he's a baller, approaching me out of nowhere because the school year is ending and I'm growing desperate. Trust me on this too. She can see it coming from a mile away, what his intentions are, and if he does it, the rest of the women in that class will know it and they will spread ''he's a creep, stay away from him'' rumors.
Confusedcarl Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Argos I think your'e being overly pessimistic with your point. Granted she might of already decided if she's found him physically attractive but you're going out on a limb by saying if he approaches her she will label him a creep. Not true, That depends on your social skills. Ya maybe if this dude walked up and was being completly vain, shallow and pretentious but if he could walk up and have even the most "casual" conversation with this girl asking her for her number or date wouldn't be a problem. As long as he doesn't act poorly to rejection Some women like when a man shows interest and are probably flattered when so. 1
compulsivedancer Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 If she sits in front of you, and you've worked on projects together, you shouldn't have too much trouble having a conversation with her. If she seems up for it, when you're walking out of class with her, see if she wants to get lunch. Not a date, just if you're both already headed to the cafeteria or something. There's nothing wrong with approaching 9 weeks in. For all she knows, you are a guy who waits to get to know a girl a little before you ask her out. Most girls don't mind being approached as long as you aren't a creep about it, and you can take no for answer.
Hopeful30 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Also arrive 5-10 minutes early. That will give you the chance to chat before class starts. You are not "late" by any means just because you didnt approach right away. On the contrary its better like this because she is familiar with you now, and youre no longer just "some guy" in her class. Youve been acquainted. You could also ask her some questions about the material. Pretend you are having difficulty understanding something and ask for her help. "You seem to have a pretty good grasp on XYZ, could you help me out?" 1
Dallers Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 First ask to borrow her notes. Say you missed something in the lecture. Next ask to study for the next test or final together. I like this. It is simple, not over thought and gets exactly what you want from this situation. Her attention. Why do you think you have missed your chance? You have been busy with another girl or doing something in your own life and now you are looking to gain her attention because suddenly she is appealing to you and so you borrowing her notes gets the ball rolling. At the moment the clock has not yet started ticking.... it starts ticking as soon as you make your intentions known and then you must progress quickly. On a side note you need to work on you. Certain girls will affect you in this way but proceeding to the over-thinking or analysing stage too often puts your potential love interest on a pedestal. It's a slippery slope if you don't pull yourself together.
Author elcabo Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Sorry for the confusion. I didn't want to give too many details. But let me adress these points: If she hasn't turned around and smiled at you by now, she's not interested anyways. This has happened, and we have made eye contact, and talked on a couple occasions, etc. but what I meant to say is it never got too far (probably because of the limited time). She probably has a boyfriend, that's why she gets out of class so soon after it ends. I know she doesn't have a boyfriend (she told me). I also know she's not super shy, but sort of. Usually it's quiet but as soon as I ask her something (class related most of the time) she's pretty quick to respond/attentive. When we've done an assignment together and she writes something on my paper she signs it with her name and a heart (mean anything??) something I know she doesn't do for anyone else. I just want her # and I'm sure it'd be better from there, but I don't know how to get it
Recommended Posts