SearchingForMyself Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 After various failed dates...both online and off. I decided that I'm quitting the dating scene. Not sure when I'll be back. I've engaged in therapy and codependency sessions to figure out why I feel like I need a relationship in my life. I'm aware of my disadvantages in dating but I just want to be completely okay without the need for female companionship on a romantic and sexual level. Is it possible for one to be satisfyingly single. I want to ask men this for obvious reasons. No offense women. Anyone is free to chime in.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Maybe I poted in the wrong forum.
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I am a woman but I suspect you are not getting many responses because what you are asking is not clear. If you are asking a bunch of people on the internet if it's OK for you to be celibate & solitary, we don't know you so we can't really answer that. People are pack animals though so complete isolation can't be good; that's why solitary confinement is a top level punishment in prison. You need friends & some type of social interaction but it doesn't necessarily have to be a romance. If you can be clearer about your Q, or the point of your post, perhaps you will get a better response.
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Honestly, it's pretty hard but it's doable - you just have to have a life purpose outside of companionship that you can put your energy into, and that's hard enough even if you know what you want to do. I have too many things in life I want to do so my energy gets scattered, but I narrowed down on a few things and am working towards them. You have to give it time and prioritize it, whatever it is you want. If it's career, hobbies or both - give it energy. You will start to feel better in yourself over time and you will actually find it easier to get interest from women aswell - no guarantee of course but it will get easier once you're not despairing over your lack of dating success. You will need people of course, so don't completely isolate yourself. I learned the hard way that I cannot do that, and honestly every time I met up with a friend after a long time, things happened. Friends and networking will be key in your life. Those are things you can focus on to make it easier. I'm not promising anything, but I reckon you'll have less time to marinade on women. Currently, I don't date at all, partly by choice. It's easier when you actually have sh*t to do.
kart180 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I personally wish I had your luck OP, I had no dates no messages nothing, I just hate online dating
Author SearchingForMyself Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I personally wish I had your luck OP, I had no dates no messages nothing, I just hate online dating I got like 2 hookups but the women were so rude the sex wasn't even worth it. In one year I've gotten 6 dates. 3 were hookups but 3 were dead in the water. All were pretty bad and this year its much worse. My question is to guys have any of you been happily single? As to the guy above me. Stay away from online dating. Its a male catalog and to be blunt...after the experiment I ran...you'd do better in niche situations. Mainstream dating sites are not good for minorities.
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Mainstream dating sites are not good for minorities. That is probably very true. Did you try any of the ones that aren't mainstream? I found all sorts of niche sites when I did internet searches. A business magazine article I read recently said these niche sites are the wave of the future for that industry. It gave the article some credibility because it was looking at the profitability of the sites, based in part on it's ability to draw advertisers who wanted a particular target market; it didn't care whether the subscribers found love or companionship. FWIW I was not a fan of OLD. I only did it for 3 months & did not enjoy the experience. Meeting people IRL was always easier & more fulfilling for me.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 That is probably very true. Did you try any of the ones that aren't mainstream? I found all sorts of niche sites when I did internet searches. A business magazine article I read recently said these niche sites are the wave of the future for that industry. It gave the article some credibility because it was looking at the profitability of the sites, based in part on it's ability to draw advertisers who wanted a particular target market; it didn't care whether the subscribers found love or companionship. FWIW I was not a fan of OLD. I only did it for 3 months & did not enjoy the experience. Meeting people IRL was always easier & more fulfilling for me. I ran an experiment where I put the same description of myself but instead the pic was a tall athletic white guy with tattoos Anyone smart would see the clickbait but in my town generally the women who said they were involved or just were looking for friends in my original profile were obsessed with trying to get with this guy. My texts are blown up with women still begging. Get off dating sites like pof and okcupid if you are a minority. Find a dating niche site where people cater to guys like me and you.
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Get off dating sites like pof and okcupid if you are a minority. Find a dating niche site where people cater to guys like me and you. I'm a married woman. I did OLD (e-harmony) for 90 days 10 years ago. I didn't care for it then but from what I have read on here it has gotten worse. The niche sites are still probably better if you are seeking something outside of the mainstream.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I'm a married woman. I did OLD (e-harmony) for 90 days 10 years ago. I didn't care for it then but from what I have read on here it has gotten worse. The niche sites are still probably better if you are seeking something outside of the mainstream. Well the mainstream doesn't favor me.
Phoe Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I'm in a slightly different boat. I'm not "giving up on the dating scene", but just "not thinking about the dating scene". I'm not in the dating scene. If I end up in it, somehow, one day, then that's fine! If I don't, that's fine too! I'm not actively removing myself, nor am I actively trying to put myself in it. I simply am wherever, whatever, and not concerned about my placement in any kind of scene.
Price2Play Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I'm in a slightly different boat. I'm not "giving up on the dating scene", but just "not thinking about the dating scene". I'm not in the dating scene. If I end up in it, somehow, one day, then that's fine! If I don't, that's fine too! I'm not actively removing myself, nor am I actively trying to put myself in it. I simply am wherever, whatever, and not concerned about my placement in any kind of scene. ^^This is where I am at as well^^ I'm with you OP, it's healthy that you recognize this about yourself. I've been single about 3mo, I've meet 3 girls in that time period. Nothing to get excited about, expectations are premeditated resentments. Right now for the most part I'm focusing on myself, hobbies, exercise and friends. Take some time off for yourself, maybe in a month or so once spring is here you'll feel better about it. ThaWholigan explained it the best!
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