h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Last night I was at a friend's party and around 9pm I messaged this guy I was seeing: what are you doing? Can I see you in an hour" ,to which he replied "I will be free in one hour". So naturally around 10pm I grabbed a cab to his place and he said "I'm not home yet, give me 20 mins. You can go in and wait for me". So naturally I went into his room (the place wasn't locked and no one was in the house) and waited for an hour but no one ever came home. I messaged him what is going on and he kept sending weird messages like "are you in my room?""give me another 20 mins.""are you really at my place now?""Should I go home now are you really at my place?" I was so confused and just said to him "I will just go home now" and he said "you are crazy girl. are you really at my place? then I will definitely come home". I left and haven't heard a thing from him since last night. Does anyone of you think its weird?? I cannot understand his behaviour.. Was I crazy for going to his place??
Buddhist Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 To be honest it sounds like he was smoking pot or taking some other drug. 1
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 hmm was he taking drugs or he just wanted to play/humiliate me?
CC12 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I messaged this guy I was seeing: what are you doing? Can I see you in an hour" ,to which he replied "I will be free in one hour". I don't think this meant "be at my place in an hour." I personally would take a conversation like that more to mean, "we can talk in an hour and we'll make arrangements then." You should never just show up at someone's house unless they've specifically invited you. I think he was probably surprised that you actually went to his place, and he was still busy so he was stalling and playing dumb to buy more time. He should have just been honest and told you he wouldn't be home anytime soon. But you shouldn't have been at his house in the first place. So I think the fault lies just about 50/50 on both of you. If you apologize, I'm betting he'll do the same. 3
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I don't think this meant "be at my place in an hour." I personally would take a conversation like that more to mean, "we can talk in an hour and we'll make arrangements then." You should never just show up at someone's house unless they've specifically invited you. I think he was probably surprised that you actually went to his place, and he was still busy so he was stalling and playing dumb to buy more time. He should have just been honest and told you he wouldn't be home anytime soon. But you shouldn't have been at his house in the first place. So I think the fault lies just about 50/50 on both of you. If you apologize, I'm betting he'll do the same. The exact conversation was me:" when can i see you" him "when you can" me:"in one hour i can. are you free" him "in one hour i will be" ======================= So does it not mean he will be free to see me in one hour? Maybe he was surprised but I wasn't gonna go into his place at all. However HE said "all good. go to my room and wait for me". Now I think he actually never intended to come home last night. I just cannot understand why he'd invite me in...
ExpatInItaly Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Yes, I find it a bit odd that you went over without an explicit invitation. I would've made contact in an hour to find out if he was home yet. In any case, he did invite you inside and never showed. I wouldn't bother with this guy any more. Bad sign. 3
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 In my defence I did ask "are you home" when I'm in the cab. To which he said "how far away are you " and I replied "I'm in a cab so 15 mins" and he said "all good wait in my room". Also when I first asked him if I can see him,he didn't say he was busy/away or turn me down. He gave me the impression that he is free to see me. Lastly like you said , he did invite me in ...so I went in..was it craziness on my side now ?
ExpatInItaly Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) In my defence I did ask "are you home" when I'm in the cab. To which he said "how far away are you " and I replied "I'm in a cab so 15 mins" and he said "all good wait in my room". Also when I first asked him if I can see him,he didn't say he was busy/away or turn me down. He gave me the impression that he is free to see me. Lastly like you said , he did invite me in ...so I went in..was it craziness on my side now ? My previous impression still stands. I wouldn't have gone over without knowing he was already home and available. How long have you been seeing each other? If you've been dating for a while, then it would seem more natural to just go on over. If this is a relatively new thing, then I think you jumped the gun a little. However, like I said before, he seemed ok with you showing up before him and invited you in. And then he never showed up. It's not a good sign. I don't think you acted "crazy." I think his behaviour and strange questions were off, and you should pay attention to that. He knew you were there and chose to blow you off completely. Something's not right with that scenario, and I don't think it's because you actually went to his house. I think there was something else going on with him. Edited March 21, 2015 by ExpatInItaly
MoreFire Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 It made you look desperate . You should have gone home,text him after an hour and reschedule for another day . He just couldn't believe you just "delivered " your body straight to his bed .
CC12 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 The exact conversation was me:" when can i see you" him "when you can" me:"in one hour i can. are you free" him "in one hour i will be" ======================= So does it not mean he will be free to see me in one hour? Maybe he was surprised but I wasn't gonna go into his place at all. However HE said "all good. go to my room and wait for me". Now I think he actually never intended to come home last night. I just cannot understand why he'd invite me in... I think this was nothing more than a misunderstanding. You seem to be convinced that he was purposely being malicious. Why? Has he done things like this in the past? So does it not mean he will be free to see me in one hour? Yes, but it could mean that he intended to travel to you, or to invite you to where he was, or to meet you somewhere else. I'm certain that he didn't expect you to take a cab to his house at 10pm on the dot.
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I don't think you acted "crazy." I think his behaviour and strange questions were off, and you should pay attention to that. He knew you were there and chose to blow you off completely. Something's not right with that scenario, and I don't think it's because you actually went to his house. I think there was something else going on with him. This is all I need. That I didn't act crazy and it is not my fault
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I think this was nothing more than a misunderstanding. You seem to be convinced that he was purposely being malicious. Why? Has he done things like this in the past? Yes, but it could mean that he intended to travel to you, or to invite you to where he was, or to meet you somewhere else. I'm certain that he didn't expect you to take a cab to his house at 10pm on the dot. Because the whole time he didn't left that place to come home.so I feel he never planed to come back. I don't think he 100% didn't expect me to show up at 10pm because I specifically said "I will see you in an hour", to which he didnt disagree.and doesn't sound like he mind at all
CC12 Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 This is all I need. That I didn't act crazy and it is not my fault lol. Okay. You should have just put this in the OP.
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 lol. Okay. You should have just put this in the OP. I did put this in my threat ...do you actually not find his behaviour odd? And you honestly think I owe him an apology??
Author h0000 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) I just think when you are busy and someone asked if she can see you ,you would just say "no I am busy but we can talk in an hour " however he said "you can see me when you want " . Then "I will be free in an hour " then "be home in 20 mins " then "go to my house and wait for me"...I just feel they are all misleading messages .no one thinks he had so many chances to tell me he isn't coming home but he didn't ? I wouldn't have gone to his place if he hadnt said "you can see me when you want " in the first place ! Edited March 21, 2015 by h0000
Zahara Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I just think when you are busy and someone asked if she can see you ,you would just say "no I am busy but we can talk in an hour " however he said "you can see me when you want " . Then "I will be free in an hour " then "be home in 20 mins " then "go to my house and wait for me"...I just feel they are all misleading messages .no one thinks he had so many chances to tell me he isn't coming home but he didn't ? I wouldn't have gone to his place if he hadnt said "you can see me when you want " in the first place ! Is this the same guy you've written about in your previous few threads?
Diezel Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 This is all I need. That I didn't act crazy and it is not my fault So what's the point of this thread? To just have someone parrot what you wanted to hear?
ExpatInItaly Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 This is all I need. That I didn't act crazy and it is not my fault You ignored the rest of my post. I don't think your behaviour qualifies as "crazy." But I do think you jumped too quickly. I don't think he implied that should take a cab and meet him at his house. But when he knew you were there, he chose not to come and meet you. What else do you need to know? And you didn't answer my question: how long have you been seeing him?
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