banini_jeque Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 I like attention. I don't need it per say, but I like it. What I don't like is when I have friends who's company I really enjoy, and who claim to really enjoy my company, yet they ignore me for weeks at a time. I don't like always having to be the one to reach out when I made the last contact, so then I have to wait until I finally hear from them again, at which point I'm hesitent to respond because they ignored me for so long. It's always this hot and cold crap, and it's always people who I enjoy the most when they are around. I want to learn to just accept it somehow so it doesn't bother me, buts tough. Any tips?
preraph Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Stop contacting them and asking them to do things and see if they ever do call to ask you to do something. If they don't, they are not friends. If they do, then you have helped reverse the situation by not initiating.
Author banini_jeque Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I already do that, I just feel irritated and hurt that it takes so long. I feel like I have plenty of other things going on in my life that it shouldn't matter, but it does, and beyond that annoyance, there isn't much else wrong with the friendships that I can see. Even more annoying to me is that once they do initiate, all the hurt I felt goes away, lol.
carhill Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Lacking control over other people, one can control how one processes interactions, or lack of same, with other people. This is underscored by the quoted text: I feel like I have plenty of other things going on in my life that it shouldn't matter, but it does Juxtaposed against this: Even more annoying to me is that once they do initiate, all the hurt I felt goes away, lol. You're in total control of this stuff. What I learned to do, over a lifetime, is to process people in the moment, meaning if the moment works for me, I go with that. If not, I move on. If I don't hear from friends, I don't. If I do, I do. I contact when I feel like contacting and in the context and with the content I feel like. If something happens, it does. If nothing happens, nothing does. My expectations are met if my eyes open in the morning and the cat wants to be fed. People are extra bonuses. You can choose to process this stuff any way you want. It's up to you.
kimba Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I think people are just pulled in all directions these days, and I think that with all teh technology available a lot if the time people just want to be alone. But I think continue to initiate, because if they don't want to go out they will just say so.
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