I'm back again

[lovesickpuppy]

2 days since I last said goodbye to this website.

I'm back online just to say...

This break up is killing me, the over thinking is hurting me so badly, but today I've worked out so hard, I've promised myself that im not going to let my ex break me.

My work out today has channeled a lot of emotions towards him which I didn't realise I had. He dumped me twice, once after I had got out of hospital after a miscarriage with his baby (which I didn't dare tell him at the time because I was so scared he'd finish me), the next time 2 days after I witnessed a man dying in front of me.

What an absolute idiot.

I guess I kept that out of my previous posts because I was in denial and had nothing but love towards this guy. For some reason today my energy is swaying elsewhere and I'm realising what an incredible girlfriend I was to him and what a d**k he was to me.

At the moment I'm using this working out and getting fit to show him what he's missing, it's driving me.

I'm slowly coming to the realisation that soon I won't need that to drive me, I'll be doing it for myself.

I guess this is just a random thought that I had to post.

I think if you're going through a tough break up, get to the gym, listen to empowering songs (personal fave elastic heart right now) and just stay strong.

Seriously f**k you, you stupid idiot for dumping a girl that was able to give you so much.

[gnick]

If you haven't allready done it include resistance or strength training into your program

[An0nymiss666]

SAME!!!

 

Unfortunately it reminds me of when we used to work out or go to the park together. But still! Someone is going to appreciate me getting into shape again even if it's just ME! The songs do depress me sometimes, even if they're upbeat. But I tell myself he has nothing to do with the music.

 

On a semi-related note, one of my favorite sad-mood songs is We Just Disagree by Dave Mason. An older gem. It brings out all kinds of emotions but it's very true. We do just disagree...

 

My a-hole ex will soon realize what he lost. Stupid mother effer. I would've given him anything and he dumped me over the phone and didn't even have a reason. He had the audacity to tell one of my friends it was the worst relationship he ever had (by his flawed logic). He said his other exes did "stupid things" like cheating, fighting with him 24/7, getting him arrested....but somehow they weren't "terrible girlfriends" and I was?! Just because he said I had attitude once in a while. Holy hell, what girl doesn't? Sorry, apparently I would've been a good girlfriend if I cheated, fought with him, and tried to falsely get him convicted of a felony. He can stick with THOSE winners.

 

That's fine. In the meantime I'll be at the park walking off the extra thigh I gained in our relationship because all he wants to do is eat cheeseburgers every meal. Ugh.

 

End rant.