Navajo46 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Why do I miss her??? I woke up yesterday with such an empty feeling and couldn't barely function? So to reiterate my situation... I was in a relationship with a girl for about 7 months. It always had its problems like in the beginning finding out that she had slept with a bunch of people at bars and she always wanted to hang out at those bars which made me feel very uncomfortable. She is a very needy girl who needs someone there 24/7 because she gets bored so easily. I couldn't do it because I work at night but we would still manage to hang out 4-5 days a week just to make her happy. She was also one of the sweetest girls when she wanted to be but would flip on a dime and say the nastiest **** I have ever heard. I told her multiple times that she was the sweetest girl and the meanest person that I have ever met. "Downtown" sent me a message the other day eluding the fact that she could have PD which I 100% agree with. I must have broken it off with her 20 times in 7 months and she would accuse me of giving up which my reply was always because your unwilling to change anything. I am not trying to change you as a person, but you have to be willing to compromise on stuff, which she never did. She drank like a fish and it was also a problem for me... I would go to her place and she would have a bottle of vodka doing shots all night... every night. I can't drink like that. I wanted to help her but she always took it as me trying to control her. We had a really bad night one night about a month ago and were sketchy for about a week and both mutually decided that it just wouldn't work. I said before I ended things because I instigated this but in the end we both apologized for the things that we did to each other said our goodbyes. She would text me a few times and ask how I was doing etc. and I would reply after a day or so because I was pretty indifferent at the time. I find out last week that she is seeing someone already who has a DUI and no license and that is perfect for the lifestyle she wants to lead. She will have this guy moved in to her place within a month I bet. I started to miss her even prior to finding this out. Now I find myself missing her even though I know who she is and it would never work?? Knowing everything that I know about her and I still miss her? WHY?
Satu Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You feel the way you feel because it's the way you feel. A better question would be *what* do I need to do to feel better. Then: *how* do I do that. *Why* is something you can address later, after you're feeling a bit better. Good luck. 1
KBarletta Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Now I find myself missing her even though I know who she is and it would never work?? Knowing everything that I know about her and I still miss her? WHY? Feelings do not follow rational thought processes. They are what they are. You were together for a good amount of time, so it is only natural that you are going to miss her, even though you know deep down she's not good for you. The important thing is how you respond and whether you allow this feeling to control your life, or instead you gain control over your life and move on to be a stronger person. Focus on yourself, not what she is doing, who she's with, what their legal problems are, etc., and you will move on faster and feel better. When you start to miss her, recognize the feeling, let yourself feel it, then let it go and remind yourself that you are better off without her, you will become a better person because of this, and then set about doing just that. 2
Eaglestar83 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Remind yourself not to invest too heavily next time... Keep yourself detached to some extent and maintain a more active social life with friends and social circle. Don't rely on a relationship to fix you because this way you will always end up getting hurt. Nothing is certain to last for ever, and you were only with this girl for 7 months. He'll, even marriage is more likely to fall apart than to endure, so you need to keep yourself on the ball and prepared mentally for the worst case scenario. Remember, you are the CEO of your own life, and nobody else has the power to make you feel down or depressed unless you allow them to. It really is that simple. 1
Jimmyjackson Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 You are going to miss her as you were together for a good amount of time, you get used to having a person around. The good thing is you acknowledge that she's bad for you and you shouldn't be missing anything. It's hard but just tell yourself this when you miss her.
emi Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 If human can control their feeling there would be no problems on earth. So its normal you lose control sometime in your mind but dont let ur legs walk when you know its a bad idea
Dallix Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Heh, sounds like you were dating my ex. Almost the exactly the same. Good question though. Luckily the answer is nothing. I still miss mine, but she was aweful so in time that feeling will fade. Hang in there buddy. Least you know she is not worth taking back. Some don't get that luxury.
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