Dennisd123 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I have been married to my wife for 2 years and 8 months. She has done a lot of things to hurt me in this marriage, but I always believed marriage is for life and revert to back to good memories. The biggest things that stick with me is that someone at work told me that my wife was hanging out with this guy a lot during break.. When we got home I asked her about it and she became violent and hitting me.. The neighbors called the cops and when they opened up the door they arrested my wife because they saw marks on me. I didn't press charges but the state did. She promised me she would never do that again and was sorry. I told the court she had consent to Hit me as my wife. She was found not guilty. This was Tough for me because I was in an another relationship and the women tried to hit me, and I left the relationship but this was harder because it would require divorce.. Another thing my wife does is stay out all night with her friends... She comes home at 2 am and gambles all night long. One day she left home at 5pm and didn't come home until 11am the next day. She turned her phone off that night. She has also been out of the country twice and each time she adds an "old friend" thats always an attractive guy when she is away. We haven't been on vacation together yet, we finally had a trip planned for miami, I was so excited. Her cousin came to visit us and decided to go to Miami... My wife and her cousin disappeared for 4 days in Miami. I didn't see her at all. She said it my fault, because I shouldn't of came Because she wanted to spend time with her cousin. Lately a good friend of mine told me that he had something important to tell me. I went to his house and he said that his wife had seen pictures of my wife on another mans phone. That mans girlfriend broke up with him and was showing my wife's friends the pictures found on the phone and it was my wife. My wife is denying everything and said maybe someone used my phone and found those pictures on my phone. But a week before I found out about those pictures (I haven't seen them yet) my wife came up to me and hugged and cried and told me she needed me in my life. I think she did that because she found it the pictures got loose and I would find out about them.. On top of all this we haven't had sex in 3 months.. One time when we thought she was pregnant she asked me how much an abortion costs. It was such a blow to my self esteem. What should I do? I want to leave, but I feel responsible because she only has me in the United states. If I leave her they send her back to greece. I really car about her but my gut tells me I've put up with too much from her. Please give me feedback and insight
jus d'orange Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Based on what you've said here, it sounds like you really have given up way too much. She's violent and abusive, appears to be really dishonest, goes "missing" for periods of time without considering your feelings, and seems to have more than ample opportunity to cheat. Divorce is your decision and it's a big one, but this doesn't sound like it's just a few small problems. 3
Poppyolive Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Whether you decide to stay or leave, is really up yo you. But, I can tell you, this will never stop, if anything get worse. With her actions mentioned above, she 109% has no respect, care or love for you. And to be honest, I don't think you love yourself. You cannot be healthy and well, when you have a wife/partner, who is completely blocking your flow of life. You are both on a rollercoaster, she is steering. You choose to stay on or get off. My advice is get off now. Don't ever look back. Spend time caring for yourself, get yourself some help. Take a fun trip to a warn place and enjoy your own company. Do this before you end up getting very sick. 3
Satu Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Greece isn't far enough away. You need to part company with her as soon as you can. She's obviously a person of very low morals/borderline psychopath. Don't let a kiss and a few sweet sounding words keep you glued to her. Talk to a lawyer about any claim she might have on your assets. Then divorce her. 5
irishguy Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You really need to open your eyes and see her for what she really is ,she is treating you horribly , you really deserve better than this .You need to plan the divorce without her knowing anything and when everything is ready including financials then serve her the papers . 3
Author Dennisd123 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you, I'm in deniel that my marriage is failing.. I always said to myself one more time and I'm leaving and she would do something else and I would still stay. She would say you are all I have here, I left my family and friends and life back in Greece for you. I think like yea, but I want a wife who wants to build a life together and cares about her husband more then she cares about going out with her friends. I guess I'm gonna circle the wagons and prepare for the separation but it's prob gonna be one of the toughest things I've ever done. My parents have been together and for 40+ years and I always thought I would have the same thing. She doesn't get along with my family, and I think it's time for this to end. I've been through enough, I know it's going to be terrible for a while but I'm going to be happier in the future then if I continue to build a life with her. No matter how hard I try I can forget about these things she has done to me. 2
spiderowl Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Follow your gut instinct and don't feel guilty. You know this woman is cheating on you - why wait to divorce her. You do not deserve to be hit. I think it might help you to get therapy for yourself to find out why you end up with women who abuse you. It could be past family experiences or something. Good luck! 3
mightycpa Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Greece isn't far enough away. Concise, witty and right on the money. Gather up your marriage license and all legal evidence that you've been married, then call Immigration Services and get started on those deportation procedures. I've got news for you. You're soft, and she likes men that take charge and have little regard for her. When you throw her ass out of the country, not only will you be reclaiming your manhood, she will actually begin to respect you. Of course she'll rebel at first, and get all nasty, but when you get in her face and tell her what's what, I know she'll come around. Why are you still reading this?!?!!! Get moving! 3
Author Dennisd123 Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Hey Guys, I really want to thank you guys, when I wrote this it was during one of the darkest periods of my life and i'm happy to say that I filed the Divorce, she was at fault, I didn't pay any alimony or lose any assets. I went to a therapist for a while to deal with the trauma & abuse and i'm happier today then I have been in a long time. So I mean at a point in my life when I was too embarrassed to admit these things to anyone it was awesome to have you guys here with advice. Divorce was finalized in January, so far I've Traveled to Italy, Russia, Albania, Dubai, and the Bahamas. Also sky dived for the first time. it was amazing and i'm so happy i'm out of that situation. Again Thank You all So much 3
Poutrew Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Hey Guys, Divorce was finalized in January, so far I've Traveled to Italy, Russia, Albania, Dubai, and the Bahamas. Also sky dived for the first time. it was amazing and i'm so happy i'm out of that situation. Again Thank You all So much Just whatever you do in the future, Stay Away From Greece... 1
spiderowl Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 So glad you came back and told us how things went for you. I'm really glad you are happier now. 1
whatnot Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 @dennisd...THAN SO MUCH FOR.SHARING YOUR STORY!!!! It's helped me so much. I'm in a similar situation (only different). Ten years ago when my ex divorced me while she was having an affair (unbeknownst to me at that time)....I told my sister "I'll never find a woman sick enough to marry me again!". She said, "Hey Bro, that's not something you have to worry about!". She was right. Though not marrying...I've been soft/weak in a 7 year relationship that just ended. The woman had absolutely no respect for me. None. I knew this. But...i knew her ex husband used to beat her and cheat on her. I thought to myself. .."Well...I don't do those things. So...I'll show her there are good men out here she can trust". No way José. The most paranoid human being I'd ever met in my life. She hired a private investigator to find out if I was cheating on her with LOL my ex wife! She had "PROOF". Fact was/is....i hadn't spoken to my ex since BEFORE our divorce and I've never even had any desire to!!! This woman thought I was cheating in her right and left. It finally got to the point that it would have been a physical impossibility for any one man to do the things I was being accused of. But...i kept believing...."If I just keep at this...i can show her it's not the case". Like you Dennis...I FELT RESPONSIBLE to show her the world is not one big conspiracy against her. It NEVER WORKED. She ended up seeing me as weak. Losing total respect for me. I always felt (secretly) that I was too weak (soft) a person for her 'cause I couldn't draw boundaries. But...lol...it wasn't to be. I was/am too weak!!! And I'll take it...i cop to it. Like my mom always told me..."Son...you just can't change other people". And this.... Concise, witty and right on the money. Gather up your marriage license and all legal evidence that you've been married, then call Immigration Services and get started on those deportation procedures. I've got news for you. You're soft, and she likes men that take charge and have little regard for her. When you throw her ass out of the country, not only will you be reclaiming your manhood, she will actually begin to respect you. Of course she'll rebel at first, and get all nasty, but when you get in her face and tell her what's what, I know she'll come around. Why are you still reading this?!?!!! Get moving! Where your coming from about being humiliating to admit this crap. There was just something inside of me for years that kept whispering to me..."The only way I can gain this woman's respect...is to break up with her". Lol I'm there baby. I'm almost free.... Thank you all so much....
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