wogslow Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) I fell in love....To the point words can't describe. I asked her to marry me in front of a thousand people. I gave her my everything. My soul was fragile, i cant even explain to what extent. I genuinely feel soulless. It feels like she took the last of love I had in me... What happened? We had an argument, I said something I didn't mean. I was stressed, lost my job hours before and was frantic... For the week following we argue...Which came to a conclusion 1 month today. She sent me a text saying you are a liar. After she sent me that, for the next 3 weeks I text, emailed, called etc but she went NC on me...she simply...stopped communication with me... So after 3 weeks of me trying to get her to respond to me...I finally stopped. That was a week today. So it has been a month since she spoke to me...and a week since I stopped send her any form of communication (even though she wasn't reply to my attempts in the first 3 weeks). I just want my phone to go off....She promised me we would always be alright....I have never trusted anyone...only her....And she wont even give me closure... she never told me we were done....she just ...went NC...I just want to try to communicate again...but I know she wont respond......I cant bare sending another email, text, call with no answer... I feel like I cant breath....Its been a month and its getting harder not easier...the idea I will never touch her, hold her, hear her tell me she loves me makes me literally feel sick inside...... Part of me wants to ask if there is anything I can do to bring her back...but she has gone...I just can't except it.....because I need her... advice anyone? Edited March 20, 2015 by wogslow 1
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 It depends. What did you say? It must have been truly heinous for her to throw away an engagement over one statement you made, a few hours after you got fired. There may be more to this then you understand. 1
Author wogslow Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) -sigh- I work in an industry that attracts a certain type of women...gold diggers. The day I lost my job/was laid off... she vanished for 24 hours (in this 24 hours I was packing up from camp, driving back to my place etc)..didn't hear from her at all...Last thing she said was ill call you when you get back...she never did....I felt i lost EVERYTHING at this point. I was in a bad state...lost my job, which was helping me get out of serious debit, and as I have always had trust issued, felt lost when she suddenly vanished when I needed her...I thought the worst...... Im not proud of it...I already hold enough shame for what i said so please go easy. I sent her text as her cell was off (no voicemail) after 24 hours of her vanishing basically saying I cant believe you ran as soon as i lost my job....(I basically accused her of being a gold digger). Which is everything she isn't.....I know how much that hurt her...and I apologized...and tried to explain profusely..... She sees it that I don't trust her...or don't really no her... why did she suddenly leave after i lost my job? She had been sick the previous 2 days. After we spoke she got a fever and fell asleep and pretty much slept 24 hours solid...woke up...and saw what I had said...and didn't want to talk to me..and when she did...the original post is what happened... I keep telling myself...today will be the day she wants to talk...and everyday goes by ...and everyday the pain increases. This girl was everything to me...I always wanted children...and she is the only person I could have ever seen having them with...I literally handed over every part of me to her...and now It feels i am left with nothing.. Edited March 20, 2015 by wogslow 1
Jonp219 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I fell in love....To the point words can't describe. I asked her to marry me in front of a thousand people. I gave her my everything. My soul was fragile, i cant even explain to what extent. I genuinely feel soulless. It feels like she took the last of love I had in me... What happened? We had an argument, I said something I didn't mean. I was stressed, lost my job hours before and was frantic... For the week following we argue...Which came to a conclusion 1 month today. She sent me a text saying you are a liar. After she sent me that, for the next 3 weeks I text, emailed, called etc but she went NC on me...she simply...stopped communication with me... So after 3 weeks of me trying to get her to respond to me...I finally stopped. That was a week today. So it has been a month since she spoke to me...and a week since I stopped send her any form of communication (even though she wasn't reply to my attempts in the first 3 weeks). I just want my phone to go off....She promised me we would always be alright....I have never trusted anyone...only her....And she wont even give me closure... she never told me we were done....she just ...went NC...I just want to try to communicate again...but I know she wont respond......I cant bare sending another email, text, call with no answer... I feel like I cant breath....Its been a month and its getting harder not easier...the idea I will never touch her, hold her, hear her tell me she loves me makes me literally feel sick inside...... Part of me wants to ask if there is anything I can do to bring her back...but she has gone...I just can't except it.....because I need her... advice anyone? I wasn't engaged but me and my ex had an argument in the car after going out for dinner. I was upset because the way we've been acting towards one another lately. I told her, "I don't have feelings for you anymore, I'm sick of this ****, just drop me off here". I left her car, and slammed the door and walked home. We angry texted for a while when we both got home, and then we stopped talking for a week. I texted her a week later and told her, "Can we talk?" And she just said, "Nope it's over, i'm done with this ****". Things weren't going so well, but slamming that car door and saying that to her was the biggest mistake I ever made. Just wish I could take it back. Don't worry man, I understand where you're coming from man. It's been a month since I spoke to my ex to, and only 4 days since I last looked at her Twitter. She still writes about me, but in a negative way. I wish you luck bro. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 My 1st thought when you said she broke up with you the day you lost your job was that she is a gold digger. So don't beat yourself up for thinking that. While it's unfortunate that you said that / sent her a text about it, because she didn't apologize for disappearing or giving you the wrong impression at which point of course, you would have apologized for thinking the worst, perhaps it's better that you don't marry. Really one misunderstanding & she's gone tells me you have no meaningful foundation & she was more about the money then the man. Happy job hunting. 3
na49 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 What she says and what she does are two different things. Talk is cheap. Everyone on this website had the same conversations that you had with your ex. They were all supposed to be together forever, until they weren't for one reason or another. The only thing that matters now is that she's gone. Her giving you the silent treatment like this says more about her than it does about you. I suspect she will reach out to you at some point, but it may not be what you want to hear. 3
Jonp219 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Have you been completely NC since you last spoke to her? 1
Author wogslow Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) - No she knew all about my debit, and that I was working on getting it "fixed" - The NC I will explain it a little better. SHE has been in NC for 1 month today. 1 Month today she last text me. so 4 weeks. The first 3 weeks of this I text her, emailed, called, every couple of days but she has never responded. For the last week (a week today) I have stopped trying. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing Edited March 20, 2015 by wogslow 1
Jonp219 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 - No she knew all about my debit, and that I was working on getting it "fixed" - The NC I will explain it a little better. SHE has been in NC for 1 month today. 1 Month today she last text me. so 4 weeks. The first 3 weeks of this I text her, emailed, called, every couple of days but she has never responded. For the last week (a week today) I have stopped trying. That's rough man :/ I really wish everything turns out well for you. 1
na49 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing It's okay to feel this way! She was important to you, and that feeling doesn't go away over night. Eventually you'll realize that although that piece is missing, it can be replaced. (when you're ready).
AaronSG Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 after 24 hours of her vanishing basically saying I cant believe you ran as soon as i lost my job....I basically accused her of being a gold digger First off I am truly sorry you are going through this trying and confusing time in your life! Next, for me, personally, when it comes to relationships, I have seriously learned that hard way that "actions speak louder than words"! After my nearly 2 year relationship with my ex-fiancé, I have learned "actions speak louder than words"! Like you, everything was fine when the money was flowing, but the moment it dried up......((pow)).....their out of here! To give you an example, a couple months before my relationship with my ex went south, my ex-fiancé and I had sat down at the dinner table and had a fairly long conversation about our finances, which weren't looking to good at the time. I told her that most likely my monthly contributions to her Fathers pay pal account were going to have to stop! We started to watch out for us, so we can pay our own household bills, not keep paying for her parents household bills. The conversation was close to an hours time, when walking away from it I was assured that she understood, she got it, she'll be careful. No more than one week later after hanging out with a friend for about 20 minutes outside our home, I came in after my friend left, walked into the house and was blown away by what I saw. There was my ex-fiancé, with her laptop computer up and on, with Skype fired up and she was talking with her Father, and what else was up......my pay pal account! What did she have in her hand........my pay pal Mastercard! And what was she going through the motions doing......?......sending her Father a large sum of money! I was like "say what"? All the while trying my best to discretely remind her about our conversation, as so her Father couldn't hear. She wasn't listening, so I had to make a serious and painful choice right then and there, I spoke up as so both party's could hear me! With as much respect as my baffled self could muster I reminded my ex-fiancé in front of her Father about our conversation about money! And with also the same level of respect I advised her Father that I was shutting this process down and that from here on out, until told otherwise, there would no longer be any money coming his way! The disbelief, the shock, the disgust they both had with me.....like "how dare you".....you could cut it in the air with a knife. From that moment on, the night time sex started to die up, the intimate conversation we were having dried up, the out of the house adventures that we liked to enjoy dried up ect. ect. ect. When things began to "dry up" I began to realize that perhaps my relationship with this woman and her Family was largely based upon money! If the showing of her with gifts continued, if the money kept flowing into her Family's pay pal account continued, if the paying for the out of town trips continued, if the money was flowing............there all with me till the end! When the money was cut off, my ex-fiancé and her family in short order left me and threw me into the trick bag. Simply put, perhaps like with my situations, I draw a line in the sand and you loss your job, with both aspects in one way or the other the money eventually dries up! Like I learned with mine..........no money, no honey! Don't think for one second that everyone out there is beyond "greed" and "self seeking ways" and "financial manipulations" and that "their ends justify their means"! For me, when the money was flowing and the gifts were being showered upon her, heaven was a place on Earth! So many showers....... 2 months into our on-line relationship, over Skype her headphone break, she's depressed about it, "oh well, I guess the next time we're at a thrift store my family can look for a new pair"! Who immediately fired up Walmarts web site, took a look at their headphone selection, saw a couple that were in stock at her local store there in Ohio, grabbed my Visa card and without her knowing was going through the motions and successfully bought her a new pair of leather bound JVC headphones.....yeah, me! 3 Month into our relationship her and her Family were having trouble affording feeding and caring for her cat. Again, who fired up the Walmart web site, checked for pet supply's that might be in stock at her local store, who bought her and her family a 32 pack of canned wet food, a 16 pound bag of dry food and a 10 pound bag of Johnny Cat litter and a new shinny red colored collar with a gold colored bell as a bonus............yeah, me! These are just mire examples from the start of our relationship of the kind of spontaneous showing of the gifts I was doing for her. Just about all the showering of gifts had ear marks of me written all over them. The headphones, the cat food, the airline tickets, the already made home for her to move into, the already furnished home for her to move into, the trips out of town like San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, Bodega Bay, Los Angeles and San Diego, the rental cars, the restaurant trips, the movie theater trips, the constant sending of money to her parents ect. ect. ect. Once I put my food down, oh yeah, when the money was no longer to be had, I got had and soon after they were gone! So with me I put my foot down, with you, you lost your job, between my foot and your lost job that basically puts a stop to outings, spontaneous showering of gifts, lavishments, luxuries, there begins the "pinching of penny's" and the stop to a certain life style that our ex's were comfortable with! No money, no honey! Again, and I know you might not want to face it, but perhaps your relationship with your ex was more "money based" than you imagined or gave credit for. If so, if there was a "gold digger" element to your relationship, don't beat yourself up about it, try not to feel bad, some people out there are just this way! Perhaps anything from my post here could be that "missing puzzle piece" that you might have been talking about! I wish you continued moving forward and continued healing.........it all gets better with time! 1
fireflywy Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 First off I am truly sorry you are going through this trying and confusing time in your life! Next, for me, personally, when it comes to relationships, I have seriously learned that hard way that "actions speak louder than words"! After my nearly 2 year relationship with my ex-fiancé, I have learned "actions speak louder than words"! Like you, everything was fine when the money was flowing, but the moment it dried up......((pow)).....their out of here! To give you an example, a couple months before my relationship with my ex went south, my ex-fiancé and I had sat down at the dinner table and had a fairly long conversation about our finances, which weren't looking to good at the time. I told her that most likely my monthly contributions to her Fathers pay pal account were going to have to stop! We started to watch out for us, so we can pay our own household bills, not keep paying for her parents household bills. The conversation was close to an hours time, when walking away from it I was assured that she understood, she got it, she'll be careful. No more than one week later after hanging out with a friend for about 20 minutes outside our home, I came in after my friend left, walked into the house and was blown away by what I saw. There was my ex-fiancé, with her laptop computer up and on, with Skype fired up and she was talking with her Father, and what else was up......my pay pal account! What did she have in her hand........my pay pal Mastercard! And what was she going through the motions doing......?......sending her Father a large sum of money! I was like "say what"? All the while trying my best to discretely remind her about our conversation, as so her Father couldn't hear. She wasn't listening, so I had to make a serious and painful choice right then and there, I spoke up as so both party's could hear me! With as much respect as my baffled self could muster I reminded my ex-fiancé in front of her Father about our conversation about money! And with also the same level of respect I advised her Father that I was shutting this process down and that from here on out, until told otherwise, there would no longer be any money coming his way! The disbelief, the shock, the disgust they both had with me.....like "how dare you".....you could cut it in the air with a knife. From that moment on, the night time sex started to die up, the intimate conversation we were having dried up, the out of the house adventures that we liked to enjoy dried up ect. ect. ect. When things began to "dry up" I began to realize that perhaps my relationship with this woman and her Family was largely based upon money! If the showing of her with gifts continued, if the money kept flowing into her Family's pay pal account continued, if the paying for the out of town trips continued, if the money was flowing............there all with me till the end! When the money was cut off, my ex-fiancé and her family in short order left me and threw me into the trick bag. Simply put, perhaps like with my situations, I draw a line in the sand and you loss your job, with both aspects in one way or the other the money eventually dries up! Like I learned with mine..........no money, no honey! Don't think for one second that everyone out there is beyond "greed" and "self seeking ways" and "financial manipulations" and that "their ends justify their means"! For me, when the money was flowing and the gifts were being showered upon her, heaven was a place on Earth! So many showers....... 2 months into our on-line relationship, over Skype her headphone break, she's depressed about it, "oh well, I guess the next time we're at a thrift store my family can look for a new pair"! Who immediately fired up Walmarts web site, took a look at their headphone selection, saw a couple that were in stock at her local store there in Ohio, grabbed my Visa card and without her knowing was going through the motions and successfully bought her a new pair of leather bound JVC headphones.....yeah, me! 3 Month into our relationship her and her Family were having trouble affording feeding and caring for her cat. Again, who fired up the Walmart web site, checked for pet supply's that might be in stock at her local store, who bought her and her family a 32 pack of canned wet food, a 16 pound bag of dry food and a 10 pound bag of Johnny Cat litter and a new shinny red colored collar with a gold colored bell as a bonus............yeah, me! These are just mire examples from the start of our relationship of the kind of spontaneous showing of the gifts I was doing for her. Just about all the showering of gifts had ear marks of me written all over them. The headphones, the cat food, the airline tickets, the already made home for her to move into, the already furnished home for her to move into, the trips out of town like San Francisco, Lake Tahoe, Bodega Bay, Los Angeles and San Diego, the rental cars, the restaurant trips, the movie theater trips, the constant sending of money to her parents ect. ect. ect. Once I put my food down, oh yeah, when the money was no longer to be had, I got had and soon after they were gone! So with me I put my foot down, with you, you lost your job, between my foot and your lost job that basically puts a stop to outings, spontaneous showering of gifts, lavishments, luxuries, there begins the "pinching of penny's" and the stop to a certain life style that our ex's were comfortable with! No money, no honey! Again, and I know you might not want to face it, but perhaps your relationship with your ex was more "money based" than you imagined or gave credit for. If so, if there was a "gold digger" element to your relationship, don't beat yourself up about it, try not to feel bad, some people out there are just this way! Perhaps anything from my post here could be that "missing puzzle piece" that you might have been talking about! I wish you continued moving forward and continued healing.........it all gets better with time! The Spice must Flow!
Author wogslow Posted March 22, 2015 Author Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it. I know I shouldn't want her back due to her actions...but I do .. I barely go a day without breaking down. Which is not me...I have always been so strong....I have never been like this. .. I gave her everything I had left inside....I have spoke to my pdoc. ..who put me back on meds... The reason I got off meds is because of her.... she was the only one who stabilized me...... I'd do anything. ...Anything. ..to hear her voice again....to have her come back.... she made me believe In myself...she took off my mask....which I never allowed anyone to remove. .. Does she ever think off me... I'm sorry for venting... Edited March 22, 2015 by wogslow
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