FaithInTheDark Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 hi there, so im new to a big city and trying out the online thing. went on a 2 dates on during the past 5 months but no luck so far. ive been talking to this guy for 6 weeks and were finally meeting up next weekend. he asked me what i was interested in doing for our first date and suggested he could make me dinner. i said it could be fun but im second guessing it because he lives at least a 20 min drive from my area.im kinda feeling a man should come to me but i dont think he owns a car and im not sure about coming over to his house as a first date setting? it sounds like a genuine gesture to make dinner for me though maybe im over thinking this.i wanted to be polite ...any thoughts? and any suggestions for a appropriate first date setting? and any tips for meeting a man for the first time online? i feel like its hard for me to relax and put on the charm ... haha. thanks guys
GTR King Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 1st date at his house is a big no... He might just want you for *** so just ask him what he wants and suggest something your comfortable with
fitnessfan365 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Any guy that wants a first date/meet at his house should be automatically dismissed. Pay attention to a guy's actions and his date planning. If he keeps things in public for at least five dates, then he is probably more serious about getting to know you. But when a guy you don't even know wants you over at his place, he isn't even trying to hide his intentions. 3
somedude81 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Do you want to have sex with this guy on the first date? 1
Redhead14 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 hi there, so im new to a big city and trying out the online thing. went on a 2 dates on during the past 5 months but no luck so far. ive been talking to this guy for 6 weeks and were finally meeting up next weekend. he asked me what i was interested in doing for our first date and suggested he could make me dinner. i said it could be fun but im second guessing it because he lives at least a 20 min drive from my area.im kinda feeling a man should come to me but i dont think he owns a car and im not sure about coming over to his house as a first date setting? it sounds like a genuine gesture to make dinner for me though maybe im over thinking this.i wanted to be polite ...any thoughts? and any suggestions for a appropriate first date setting? and any tips for meeting a man for the first time online? i feel like its hard for me to relax and put on the charm ... haha. thanks guys Never go to a stranger's house for dinner Period. Suggest a coffee meet up or a public place for a drink or two. This is not a date. Keep the meet up short, say an hour or so. Be yourself, keep it light. For this meeting, it's simply about whether you even want to spend more time with him. Try to have a very casual conversation about what you are looking for out of your dating experiences and let him tell you what he's looking for. If he says he just wants casual hook ups and you don't, you tell him at the end of the meet up that you don't think you two are a good match and leave it at that. Thank him for his time, etc. You may meet him and he has three eyes and green hair. Do you want to spend an entire meal at a restaurant with him or be in his home alone with him? And, never allow a stranger to pick you up in their car. You always have your car with you at least for the first few dates anyway. 2
TunaCat Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 No, no, no, no! Do not meet a man at his place for the first date. Especially if he's from an online dating site, and you haven't met him before. Think of your safety and meet in a public place and do coffee or something. I know you are trying to make this easier on him because he doesn't have a car, but you do not want to be a doormat. I also don't have a car (can't drive as I have vision issues) but if he wants to see you, he'll make it happen.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 nope. this girl isnt giving it up on the first date thats forsure. learned that one the hard way. ok i told him id perfer to meet him in a setting closer to my house. i knew coming over as a odd first date. 1
Author FaithInTheDark Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 thanks guys. well i expressed what works for me and were gonna meet downtown somewhere next weekend. makes me feel alot more comfortable about meeting. 3
Gary S Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You never go to a man's house for a first date, are you crazy? You always meet in a public place. Do I have to spank you young lady?! Until you have met, you don't know him. You have to go by your intuition (gut feelings) to get a good impression of his character. This can only be accomplished by meeting face-to-face, the internet and phones does not count. When you meet at his house, you are captive, it's could be too late!!!! Stop, do not pass "go", do not collect $200.00. We are strangers until we meet. 1
writergal Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Any guy that wants a first date/meet at his house should be automatically dismissed. Pay attention to a guy's actions and his date planning. If he keeps things in public for at least five dates, then he is probably more serious about getting to know you. But when a guy you don't even know wants you over at his place, he isn't even trying to hide his intentions. ^^ Everything ff said in bold is true. I'll add the safety factor as my 2 cents especially where online dating is concerned. He claims he doesn't have a car or drive. So, he can take a taxi cab or bus to meet you for your 1st date. That's his responsibility to take care of, not yours. Then, do NOT offer to give him a ride home after the date. Again, public transportation or taxi cab for him. Date smart. Date safe. 6
Gaeta Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I would drop instantly a man that offers me to meet him at his place. First it's not safe, second if he can't get off his big @ss and disburse $1.50 to meet me he's not worth my time, third if he does not understand the safety issue he's an idiot. Also, if I am to date a man that does not drive he better show me he can take himself from point A to B on his own. 6
kendahke Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) hi there, so im new to a big city and trying out the online thing. went on a 2 dates on during the past 5 months but no luck so far. ive been talking to this guy for 6 weeks and were finally meeting up next weekend. he asked me what i was interested in doing for our first date and suggested he could make me dinner. i said it could be fun but im second guessing it because he lives at least a 20 min drive from my area.im kinda feeling a man should come to me but i dont think he owns a car and im not sure about coming over to his house as a first date setting? it sounds like a genuine gesture to make dinner for me though maybe im over thinking this.i wanted to be polite ...any thoughts? and any suggestions for a appropriate first date setting? and any tips for meeting a man for the first time online? i feel like its hard for me to relax and put on the charm ... haha. thanks guys Do not go to the home of a man you've never met in person and do not know for any reason. A first in person meeting and the first few dates need to be in a public place, not in his or your homes. Meet him for coffee or ice cream in town, preferably in the daytime. Figure out if you even like him enough to spend more time with him first. and he can rent one of those SmartCars to get to the venues--or take a taxi or bus/metrotrain. If you live in a metropolitan area, they have public modes of transportation available and he needs to avail himself of them, not lean on you. When it comes to your safety, drop the "wanting to be polite" mess. Inviting someone you don't know into your home ain't polite. It's scheming to get sex, IMO. Edited March 20, 2015 by kendahke 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 First date at someone's house isn't the greatest idea. However, if he is asking YOU out, you should be going to him (or wherever he plans the date). If you want him to come to you, you need to ask him out. In particular, my first dates are always VERY close to where I live, usually in walking distance (I live in the city really close to a lot of popular bars/restaraunts)
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 hi there, so im new to a big city and trying out the online thing. went on a 2 dates on during the past 5 months but no luck so far. ive been talking to this guy for 6 weeks and were finally meeting up next weekend. he asked me what i was interested in doing for our first date and suggested he could make me dinner. i said it could be fun but im second guessing it because he lives at least a 20 min drive from my area.im kinda feeling a man should come to me but i dont think he owns a car and im not sure about coming over to his house as a first date setting? it sounds like a genuine gesture to make dinner for me though maybe im over thinking this.i wanted to be polite ...any thoughts? and any suggestions for a appropriate first date setting? and any tips for meeting a man for the first time online? i feel like its hard for me to relax and put on the charm ... haha. thanks guys Not sure what the other posters will say about this, but in my opinion, it's not safe for you to meet a guy for the FIRST time at his house or for him to meet you at your house! You should meet him somewhere PUBLIC where there are a lot of people so you can feel comfortable, safe and at ease with this first meeting. This way, if you don't feel any chemistry, compatibility or attraction towards him, you can both part ways and move on. Another reason that I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to his place is because he might be just wanting to have sex with you; and you being at HIS place under his control is a perfect scenario for him to carry his intentions out. I would NEVER EVER meet a guy at his place for the first date! I wouldn't go to his place until I knew him better and ONLY until I felt COMFORTABLE with going there. A woman has to be cautious and smart with regard to her safety, her well-being and with what SHE deems as appropriate and comfortable for her situation. . 1
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 hi there, so im new to a big city and trying out the online thing. Safety first. If you came from a small town where everybody knew everybody else since forever, this is going to be a radical change for you, but especially with OLD You have to keep your guard up. Assume the people are lying to you & do not have your best interests at heart. Always meet in public, preferably during day light. Make sure somebody knows where you will be & who you will be with. Have minimal alcohol, no more than 2 drinks. Keep it short & only come to trust slowly. 1
kendahke Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Have minimal alcohol, no more than 2 drinks. This is extremely important. I never drink alcohol on first meetings or first dates. Keep watch on your drink, too, so nothing can be dropped into it. 1
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