in emotionally unavailable relationships, you have nothing to lose

[Eighty_nine]

looking back on my year+ engagement in a toxic relationship with an unavailable (and f*cked up) person, i'm able to make sense of why i did that for so long... I never really had anything to lose there. it was painful, but predictable and in that way it was "safe."

 

Now i'm in a great relationship with a person who loves me and respects me, and it's about a million times scarier than being with the guy who constantly let me down. I have something to lose now, and before I really didn't.

[PegNosePete]

I have something to lose now, and before I really didn't.

Except your time.

Depending on your age that may be a valuable commodity, or you may feel you have lots of it to spare.

As you get older you tend to value your time more and more.

[blackcat777]

I had a similar realization with my boyfriend, and I realized that all I could do is become the best version of myself. If that doesn't ultimately inspire him to stay, it will inspire another great person who will.

 

Live a full, happy life and appreciate your partner. This is a positive feedback loop.

 

Avoid acting out on insecurities at all costs. Vent to friends, or vent here.

 

If a relationship is great, both people get along, are appreciated, the sex is awesome, you enrich each other's lives... what's not to look forward to? Not that you're catching flies, but I believe the saying is, "It's easier to catch flies with honey." I think the point is that sweetness goes a long way. Not like girly-girl sweetness, but a sweetness of being (sorry if that's abstract).