alltheanswers Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 So theres this guy ive known for a few years..on and off. He always thought I was cute I guess but he jad a girlfriend at the time. So we hung out the other night and ended up going tp bed. I told him I just didnt want it to be a cheap hookup ge assured me it wasnt. So.... the next few days pass and it seems im the one texting him. He answered right away but it was always me. I asked him what he was doing this weekend...and he responded with that he felt pressured....but I said I dont want you too and he kinda said okay...he doesnt seem into it ..what should I do...just let it go? 1
TunaCat Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Hate to say it, but it sounds like he lied to you. All you were to him was a one night stand. If he was into you, you would have heard from him the next morning. He got what he wanted from you. Move on. 2
Author alltheanswers Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Ya I guess theres no reason to call him out on it just show him what he lost. 1
mortensorchid Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I'm sorry. I hope you learn from this, but it happens. Sounds like he lied to you. 4
Buddhist Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Yes let it go. Why even bother to post here, unless you are kind of hopelessly wishing that he is going to be as into seeing you as a couple as you are. Unfortunately a large portion of the male population are liars and will say anything at all to get their dick wet. This won't ever change, so as a female you need to learn to read the difference when you are out with men. Chalk it up to experience but release yourself of the need to communicate with this one ever again. 3
Author alltheanswers Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Thanks guys...yea the guys a creep...and a loser if he cant see what hes missing. ..I gues ignoring him is my best bet. If he ever tried to talk to me again. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 So theres this guy ive known for a few years..on and off. He always thought I was cute I guess but he jad a girlfriend at the time. So we hung out the other night and ended up going tp bed. I told him I just didnt want it to be a cheap hookup ge assured me it wasnt. So.... the next few days pass and it seems im the one texting him. He answered right away but it was always me. I asked him what he was doing this weekend...and he responded with that he felt pressured....but I said I dont want you too and he kinda said okay...he doesnt seem into it ..what should I do...just let it go? If you don't want to have hook ups, don't sleep with anyone until you've spent some time to really get to know them and know what their intentions are for dating in general and/or with you. Even if you knew them prior but on a casual basis. Let this one go and don't look back. You hopefully had a nice time and enjoyed the intimacy. Yes, he's feeling pressured because basically what you've done is had sex with a man and right afterwards tried to get him to "commit" to you because of that. That will feel like you are using sex as a weapon or tool of manipulation to a man. Even if this man were thinking he might want to continue dating you even though you'd had sex with him early, now that he's feeling pressured, he certainly won't entertain that option now. What you should have done after you'd had sex is simply tell him you had enjoyed the experience with him, thanked him and gone home and then waited to see if he contacted you again, not text or call him first. Let them come to you, don't chase them. 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 you are right..now i dont really know what to do from here. 1
Gary S Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 Please try to wait to sleep with the next guy for at least 3-5 dates, more if you can. 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Gary I will and believe me I usually do this was kind of pushed on me. ... 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Any guy who operates like that isnt worth a damn anyways. 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 So interesting twist. ...this guy now tells me I dont understand why your so upset i thought we were friends. What do I do with that... 1
syracuseguy95 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Don't try to force something that won't budge. Nothing hurts more than loving someone who won't love you back. I dated this guy once who seemed nice and genuine at first, but trying to text or call him always seemed one sided. One day he just stopped responding. After a week or so I gave up trying, and a few weeks later, I met someone who I love very much and he loves me back. Don't hold on to dead weight. You might miss an opportunity to meet someone who makes you happier than anything in the world. 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 So true wont be contacting him anymore 1
Redhead14 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Gary I will and believe me I usually do this was kind of pushed on me. ... If you usually don't sleep with men soon, ALWAYS wait. If a man pressures you for sex, move on. Don't make exceptions to your own ground rules. This is the reason people get confused and don't know what to do next. You're a grown woman. You shouldn't still be influenced by peer pressure 1
Author alltheanswers Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Everything you said was true.....he is the egotistical type that just uses women for an ego boost anyways. I wouldn't be surprised if I hear from him in the near future. . 1
Satu Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 you are right..now i dont really know what to do from here. Delete, block, ignore. Thats the full program.
Author alltheanswers Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Seems like a good choice to me. When hes lonely...I wont be around.
mightycpa Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I told him I just didnt want it to be a cheap hookup What exactly did you mean by that? I'm thinking maybe he thinks you're FWB's and he didn't understand your cryptic description of what you didn't want.
Author alltheanswers Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Mightycpa you may just be right in fact I think your one hundred percent right....things should have been discussed before hand..however he now thinks that he may have me as a fwb but...the next time if he ever asks I will not answer as I am better then how he treated me.
Author alltheanswers Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 The plot thickens....this guy texted me today. I responded with hello then he proceeded to ask me to hookup. I said I am sorry I have met someone else who is interested in me for me. He proceeded to say he doesnt have to know...I said im sorry this guy actually lkes me I don't know what to say..Even though there is no other guy...did I do right?
edgygirl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Not bad, but I would just say I am not interested in hookups and looking for someone to connect and date for a real relationship. That he can get back in touch in the future in case he decides he's ready to date for real and take you more seriously and if you're free then. After all, you liked him... right? The only mistake was sleeping with him too early. We all do it from time to time. Not worth it 99% of the time. The plot thickens....this guy texted me today. I responded with hello then he proceeded to ask me to hookup. I said I am sorry I have met someone else who is interested in me for me. He proceeded to say he doesnt have to know...I said im sorry this guy actually lkes me I don't know what to say..Even though there is no other guy...did I do right?
Author alltheanswers Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 Thanks edgy I dont think I want much to do with him in the future though...hes a cocky jerk.
bolase Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 My advice is a) don't respond to him or text him ever again, or b) rather than say you want a serious relationship and not FWB, actually tell him "Look, I knew our night together was casual but not THAT casual. Since that night I do not feel you've treated me respectfully even as a friend. I'm moving on."
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