AJones Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I met this girl at a club. She actually came up to me to introduce herself, give her number, and tell me to call her. So I did and we went on a fun date and had good chemistry. We kissed, planned on meeting again. Went on a second date, dinner at my place. The plan was to go dancing after that, but we were talking and she asked me to play music for her. Time slipped by and it got late to go out.(*this was possibly a big mistake, but she said she didn't mind)There was a good amount of touching, some kissing, but nothing too intense. This girl never initiated the kissing but was receptive to it. Didn't initiate texts but was responsive. Anyway, since then we've only texted a couple times, but we brought up previous jokes and such. I called wed. to set up something this weekend. She hasn't responded in about a day. I texted her to call me back since she doesn't have voicemail. Now i'm trying to decide if i should call or text one more time. I've complimented her before, but we haven't discussed really how we feel about eachother. Is that fine? we've only met twice. I think she's either not interested at all or was, but got disappointed I wasn't more open.. I was thinking of just briefly telling her i think she's a good woman and i would've like to get to know her better. Otherwise, no hard feelings, take care. Something like that. Just to let her know if she somehow didn't realize i was interested like that. Would that be alright to do?
preraph Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You've both called and texted her. I wouldn't keep doing it. There may be some reason and you'll hear from her later, or not, but I think you have to just wait it out. Or else you'll seem desperate. 2
Gary S Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Who does not have voicemail today? It's free, even on my elcheapo service.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Dude, you're freaking out over one day? People do have other things going on their life. Give the girl some time to get back to you. If you contact her again in that short of a time span, you'll come off as majorly needy. But I will say that it's good that you actually tried calling. Weird she doesn't have voice mail though. You sent the text to act as your voice mail. So now let a week go by. If you don't hear from her by then, try following up one more time and then let it go if it doesn't lead anywhere, 1
Gary S Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 ^^^^um, if she's sane and likes the guy, she would reply within 24. 1
Author AJones Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 In my text I just asked her to call me back, I had something to say. I didn't mention i wanted to ask her out. Now that I think about it, I didn't mention since the last date (Sat) that I wanted to see her again. But Sat to Wed isn't too long right? I guess it was a combination of not wanting to seem too eager and not knowing how she felt about the date made me wait a bit. The day after our date she said she also had a good time, but that's only after i said it first if that makes a difference.
Gary S Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 No, you did not wait to long. If she has a crush on you, which is what you need to continue, you could wait a week to ask her out.
green_tea Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Just to let her know if she somehow didn't realize i was interested like that. Would that be alright to do? No. She already knows you're interested from you calling and texting her. I'd leave it now if I was you.
Author AJones Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 last thing she said was that her last final was today. I then said we should stop texting so she can study (jokingly but also thinking i was maybe bothering her)No response from then on. I'm wondering if she was expecting me to see if we can meet up? eh probably not
preraph Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 You're overthinking it. Do something else. Once she's done with her final or whatever, she'll return texts. Please realize she may have 80 texts piled up to reply to, not just yours. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 ^^^^um, if she's sane and likes the guy, she would reply within 24. Not necessarily. People get busy and $hit happens. Freaking out because a woman hasn't gotten back to you in 24 hrs is needy behavior. There are women out there that purposely take longer to get back to a guy just to see how they'll react. I actually think it's a good way to weed out needy people.
SunnySide0418 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 last thing she said was that her last final was today. I then said we should stop texting so she can study (jokingly but also thinking i was maybe bothering her)No response from then on. I'm wondering if she was expecting me to see if we can meet up? eh probably not I think you should text her and ask how her final went. I think it shows you care about what she has going on and that you remembered. If she doesn't respond to that you'll have your answer. 1
Author AJones Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 You're overthinking it. Do something else. Once she's done with her final or whatever, she'll return texts. Please realize she may have 80 texts piled up to reply to, not just yours. Her last one was yesterday. Last i heard from her was 2 days ago. I can see that she read my texts. Normally she responds right away so its pretty intentional for sure
katiegrl Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Not necessarily. People get busy and $hit happens. Freaking out because a woman hasn't gotten back to you in 24 hrs is needy behavior. There are women out there that purposely take longer to get back to a guy just to see how they'll react. I actually think it's a good way to weed out needy people. I'll probably get s!ammed for this...but I've done that. And its been very effective in weeding out needy, insecure control freaks. And I'd do it again if I ever became single again. 1
Bobbi7 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 If you don't hear back from her within a week, then forget about her. I had an amazing first date with this guy-we made out, held hands, etc, etc. He told me the bs line-"we should do this again sometime." I gave it a few days like others have said, a week went by-and what do you know??? He wasn't interested or I didn't move him because I saw that he updated his profile and his picture.
Author AJones Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) I'll probably get s!ammed for this...but I've done that. And its been very effective in weeding out needy, insecure control freaks. And I'd do it again if I ever became single again. No judgement here. You did this with guys you were interested in even? Then if they pass they get a chance? Is that how it works? I mean, I could understand wanting to weed out the needy. I suppose I came from a idea that people with mutual interest would not hesitate to express it. Edited March 20, 2015 by AJones
katiegrl Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 No judgement here. You did this with guys you were interested in even? Then if they pass they get a chance? Is that how it works? I mean, I could understand wanting to weed out the needy. I suppose I came from a idea that people with mutual interest would not hesitate to express it. Mutual interest is awesome...and expressing it is also awesome. But some men can really go overboard, call too much, text too much, become territorial too soon .... for me personally it's suffocating and even when interested initially, that behavior is just a turn off. So yes I would even "do it" with men I was interested in...but honestly at the time I wasn't even aware of it. I just didn't wish to get that intense with a guy so early on, so I would wait a bit to reconnect (call back), so as to avoid the "too much too soon" syndrome/burnout. It's late and I'm tired so hope that made sense!
katiegrl Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Mutual interest is awesome...and expressing it is also awesome. But some men can really go overboard, call too much, text too much, become territorial too soon .... for me personally it's suffocating and even when interested initially, that behavior is just a turn off. So yes I would even "do it" with men I was interested in...but honestly at the time I wasn't even aware of it. I just didn't wish to get that intense with a guy so early on, so I would wait a bit to reconnect (call back), so as to avoid the "too much too soon" syndrome/burnout. It's late and I'm tired so hope that made sense! ^^To add -- and if a guy freaked out over my desire to pace it out ... which some did ...I would know he just wasn't for me. Many men have a tendency to rush right in..and IMO it's up to the woman to slow it down, pace it out. Otherwise you risk the "too much too soon" burnout from happening.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I'll probably get s!ammed for this...but I've done that. And its been very effective in weeding out needy, insecure control freaks. And I'd do it again if I ever became single again. Well $hit Katie, you always respond instantly to my posts on here, so I doubt you'd make me wait too long. But I actually do think it's a brilliant strategy. There are a lot of people who lack patience. I mean look at how many guys lose their $hit over waiting one day. In the end it's simple. You leave one voice mail, or you send one text. Then you WAIT to hear back from the person. I've actually landed dates online from women that waited 5-7 days to get back to me. Then when I went out with them, they said how nice it was that I wasn't needy and didn't complain over their slow response time.
Redhead14 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I met this girl at a club. She actually came up to me to introduce herself, give her number, and tell me to call her. So I did and we went on a fun date and had good chemistry. We kissed, planned on meeting again. Went on a second date, dinner at my place. The plan was to go dancing after that, but we were talking and she asked me to play music for her. Time slipped by and it got late to go out.(*this was possibly a big mistake, but she said she didn't mind)There was a good amount of touching, some kissing, but nothing too intense. This girl never initiated the kissing but was receptive to it. Didn't initiate texts but was responsive. Anyway, since then we've only texted a couple times, but we brought up previous jokes and such. I called wed. to set up something this weekend. She hasn't responded in about a day. I texted her to call me back since she doesn't have voicemail. Now i'm trying to decide if i should call or text one more time. I've complimented her before, but we haven't discussed really how we feel about eachother. Is that fine? we've only met twice. I think she's either not interested at all or was, but got disappointed I wasn't more open.. I was thinking of just briefly telling her i think she's a good woman and i would've like to get to know her better. Otherwise, no hard feelings, take care. Something like that. Just to let her know if she somehow didn't realize i was interested like that. Would that be alright to do? The ball is in her court. If you keep hitting balls at her, she'll certainly never hit them back because she'll be overwhelmed or annoyed. Don't reach out to her again. If she responds, whenever that is, decide whether you want to see her again, ask her if she's interested in another date with you on X day. If she says no, she says no. While you are waiting, ask someone else for a date and have fun with them. 1
Author AJones Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) Part of me feels like the 2nd date just wasn't great. we had dinner at my place and were supposed to go dancing. We lost track of time and didn't go out dancing but rather kept talking and walked around town. I feel like she may have got the wrong impression that i was just trying to get her to my place then? But she did seem comfortable and stay pretty late on her own accord. Then she messaged me a couple times after. This just a thought. I feel bad if that's what it was though, because it wasn't my intention. Edited March 21, 2015 by AJones
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