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Are there some types of 2nd/3rd dates that some people wouldn't like to go on?

BlackOpsZombieGirl

By BlackOpsZombieGirl
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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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I've heard that some undesirable types of dates that some people wouldn't want to go on are:

 

* going to the movie theater

 

* going dancing at a night club

 

* going to a loud hip-hop/rock concert

 

* going to an auto race or monster truck rally

 

 

I've had one guy a few months ago that wanted to take me to an auto race on our 3rd date, and even though I didn't really want to go because of how absolutely LOUD it is at the races, I went anyway because I knew he wanted to go and because I really was attracted to him. Well, throughout almost the entire date, we could barely hear what we were saying to each other and as a result, I became bored. He was just the kind of guy who liked going to auto races and monster truck rallies and...um, that just wasn't flying with me; so, I ended things with him. He deserves to date a woman who's into that stuff...and I deserve to date a guy who wants to interact with me on the first few dates that we go on!

 

I can understand where that guy was coming from, because for me, I *LOVE* dancing and would like to go dancing with a guy I'm attracted to - but the thing is, at a club, it's really LOUD in there and it's hard to hear what your date is saying to you. I would never suggest it in the earlier stages of dating though, for that very reason.

 

I can understand why some people wouldn't want to go on some of those types of dates for the second or third date because there would be limited vocal interaction. I guess my question is - for the guys (and women) here - if you were dating a woman/guy you were really into for the second or third time and she/he asked you if you'd be up for going to either one of those venues for their date and you didn't really WANT to go, what would be your response?

 

 

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
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For an early date some place you can talk is better than noisy places but all of those things you mentioned can be OK.

 

Personally I like dinner dates.

 

Some kind of activity works too: mini golf, bowling, playing video games even.

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

Posted
Posted
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I've heard that some undesirable types of dates that some people wouldn't want to go on are:

 

* going to the movie theater

 

* going dancing at a night club

 

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Agree with both. The one "movie" date that is fun though is going to a drive in. You can actually talk to each other in the car, bring your own food in, have fun during the intermission, etc..

 

I personally hate bars and clubs. The only reason to go to a club is to let a woman get dressed up. But you like to dress sexy with dinners and other outings so no need.

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Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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Posted

Dancing at a night club is one of the best things you can do, women love to dance.

 

The other ones, concert, movie, monster truck show, are controversial, and I'll tell you why.... because it can be difficult to gauge the person's interest in you at those events, and that is important in the first couple months if you want to avoid rejection.

 

However, it's okay to break the rules sometimes... if some type of show is your passion, you might be your best when you are happy. Plus, the name of the game in dating is to have fun.

 

I like movies... you get to sit next to the person, and I often get cold so it gives me a good excuse to check her love level by putting my hand on her leg to warm up! Hopefully, she'll grab my arm and fondle it :D

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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I'm sorry, but I'm not like most women...

 

I don't want to sit around with a guy and "talk"...I have girlfriends and my mum to do that with.

 

Yes, dating is to get to know someone...but also, getting to know them is also learned in having good times/doing things with them. But yes, I hate how some people base compatibility and/or marriage material solely on "good times" w/o having practical conversations and/or marriage counseling (i.e. focus/discussion on religion, finances, roles, children, expectations).

 

So, I could go to either of those events with a guy in the first few dates of knowing him. I like doing stuff rather than just sitting across a table, staring into each other's eyes and talking **snoooze**

 

Actually, there's an auto show I plan to go to soon and I sorta wish I could go with a date :( cuz, I think it would be cool for both of us to check out the event and also, there's room for conversation and stuff too :)

 

Another cool idea is a treasure hunt type of run. If I was dating a guy, I'd suggest we'd do one of those. Some of them even have beer afterwards!!!

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writergal Established Member

writergal

Posted
Posted
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I've heard that some undesirable types of dates that some people wouldn't want to go on are:

 

* going to the movie theater

 

* going dancing at a night club

 

* going to a loud hip-hop/rock concert

 

* going to an auto race or monster truck rally

 

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I'd go to a movie with a guy if it was at the drive-in, the weather was nice and he drove a convertible. :love:

 

In my 20s, I went dancing a lot with girlfriends but now in my 40s, nope! :p

 

An outdoor concert would be fun for a 1st or 2nd date.

 

Not a fan of auto race or monster truck rallies, so nope on that suggestion.

 

Dates I like to go on involve an activity that my date and I can both do (mini-golf, etc.) that keeps us talking and then we can laugh and talk about the activity afterwards at dinner or lunch; whatever time the date is at.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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i think i would be distracted at a car rally or a monster truck rally as in distracted with boredom......would rather go watch sheep dog trials.....thats fun....i dont mind drives in cars....i suck at navigating but ill give it a go..getting lost is half the fun...... but not into watching people drive around in circles going nowhere.....makes me want to rip my hair out....my dad always used to take me to those things...i took a book....

 

i would say that comes close to a date from hell..car rallies or truck rallies....as does playing golf.....or tennis for that matter those balls are hard to find when you hit them hard and i spend half my time looking in bushes.....because i only hit balls one way.....hard and crooked..they go out of the park......would rather go bush walking then looking under bushes....

 

museums are fun...art galleries are fun concerts are fun....cars suck.........deb

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Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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Posted
.as does playing golf.....or tennis for that matter those balls are hard to find when you hit them hard and i spend half my time looking in bushes.....because i only hit balls one way.....hard and crooked..they go out of the park......would rather go bush walking then looking under bushes....

 

- I agree... I would not wish golf on my worst enemy. (But mini gold or the driving range can be fun)

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Depends on the person, so always ask them if they want to do it and if they don't, do something else. For me, I don't want to do sports. So a guy could have tickets and I'd probably tell him to take someone else and ask if we could go do something else later.

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Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
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I've heard that some undesirable types of dates that some people wouldn't want to go on are:

 

* going to the movie theater

 

* going dancing at a night club

 

* going to a loud hip-hop/rock concert

 

* going to an auto race or monster truck rally

 

 

I've had one guy a few months ago that wanted to take me to an auto race on our 3rd date, and even though I didn't really want to go because of how absolutely LOUD it is at the races, I went anyway because I knew he wanted to go and because I really was attracted to him. Well, throughout almost the entire date, we could barely hear what we were saying to each other and as a result, I became bored. He was just the kind of guy who liked going to auto races and monster truck rallies and...um, that just wasn't flying with me; so, I ended things with him. He deserves to date a woman who's into that stuff...and I deserve to date a guy who wants to interact with me on the first few dates that we go on!

 

I can understand where that guy was coming from, because for me, I *LOVE* dancing and would like to go dancing with a guy I'm attracted to - but the thing is, at a club, it's really LOUD in there and it's hard to hear what your date is saying to you. I would never suggest it in the earlier stages of dating though, for that very reason.

 

I can understand why some people wouldn't want to go on some of those types of dates for the second or third date because there would be limited vocal interaction. I guess my question is - for the guys (and women) here - if you were dating a woman/guy you were really into for the second or third time and she/he asked you if you'd be up for going to either one of those venues for their date and you didn't really WANT to go, what would be your response?

 

 

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Yes, there are some types of 2nd/3rd date places that SOME people don't want to go to. It's about what you and your date like. This is the kind of thing that makes for good conversation on a first date. Mention things you like to do, mention favorite places, mention favorite activites. Listen to what they say about those things. If the man is paying attention, he will ask you to do something you mentioned. If he can't think of something to do with you on a another date, he wasn't paying attention.

 

If a man asks you to go or do anything you don't want to do, simply suggest something else. If they ask you to do something specific and you don't really enjoy that kind of thing, why let him take you on a date you won't enjoy and he won't fully enjoy because you're not and waste his money and each other's time? Find out about things you have in common early.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
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3rd date would definitely be a Canucks game with beers. Or sports bar, lounge or steakhouse.

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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i think i would be distracted at a car rally or a monster truck rally as in distracted with boredom......would rather go watch sheep dog trials.....thats fun....i dont mind drives in cars....i suck at navigating but ill give it a go..getting lost is half the fun...... but not into watching people drive around in circles going nowhere.....makes me want to rip my hair out....my dad always used to take me to those things...i took a book....

 

i would say that comes close to a date from hell..car rallies or truck rallies....as does playing golf.....or tennis for that matter those balls are hard to find when you hit them hard and i spend half my time looking in bushes.....because i only hit balls one way.....hard and crooked..they go out of the park......would rather go bush walking then looking under bushes....

 

museums are fun...art galleries are fun concerts are fun....cars suck.........deb

 

Reading your post made me laugh, Deb!:laugh: Yeah, I'll NEVER go to another auto race ever again. And omg, Golf? Don't get me started on that! Golf is for old people lol and is boring as HELL! I like your other suggestions for places to go. Museums and art galleries aren't what I'd call "fun" dates to go on, but I do find them VERY interesting, informative and introspective by nature! Concerts are awesome! I also LOVE theme/amusement parks and would have a BLAST with the right guy! Your humor and sarcasm makes you seem like you'd be a fun person to hang out with!

 

 

 

Agree with both. The one "movie" date that is fun though is going to a drive in. You can actually talk to each other in the car, bring your own food in, have fun during the intermission, etc..

 

I personally hate bars and clubs. The only reason to go to a club is to let a woman get dressed up. But you like to dress sexy with dinners and other outings so no need.

 

Well, there used to be drive-ins where I am, but they've all closed down. I remember my parents taking us kids there when we were little, it was so much fun, especially during intermissions when we got to go on bathroom breaks and buy junk food at the concession stand! I wish there was a drive-in near me, I would love to go to one again!

 

You *hate* bars and clubs? Really? I mean, I know you don't drink, but, you don't like to dance either?:confused: Or just listen to some bluesy jazz while you sit with your date and have intellectually stimulating conversations? I guess everyone has their own preferences! Yeah, I can dress it up to any venue I go to, as long as it's swanky, classy or hip.:cool:

 

 

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guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted

I don't like loudness in general. For dates it would be frustrating because I have enough trouble hearing. I like quiet and calm things or fun activities like some others have mentioned. Where you get to know people and just have a great time. I am not interested in nightclubs. Whilst I enjoy dancing to good music, nightclubs don't tend to have good music.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted

Movies

 

Birthday parties of his friends (I've had that experience as a first date--had a miserable time, aside from it being the date from hell)

 

Sporting events

 

The first 5 dates are for getting to know one another, not to be distracted from one another.

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sunshine2 Established Member

sunshine2

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't dump a guy cause he liked Auto Races. Kind of silly. In a relationship you have to do things with each other that sometimes the other one is not a fan of.

 

I worked with a man who was in his 70's. We got into a discussion about marriage and relationships. He was divorced and really regretted that his marriage didn't work out. He told me something I will never forget. He said, my wife love the opera and I would always tell her I didn't want to go. Now that I am divorced, I see that I should of went with her. You have to compromise and do things that you might not want to sometimes. I think if I took more interest in what she liked to do instead of being so selfish, we would still be married today. :)

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

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I wouldn't dump a guy cause he liked Auto Races. Kind of silly. In a relationship you have to do things with each other that sometimes the other one is not a fan of.

 

I worked with a man who was in his 70's. We got into a discussion about marriage and relationships. He was divorced and really regretted that his marriage didn't work out. He told me something I will never forget. He said, my wife love the opera and I would always tell her I didn't want to go. Now that I am divorced, I see that I should of went with her. You have to compromise and do things that you might not want to sometimes. I think if I took more interest in what she liked to do instead of being so selfish, we would still be married today. :)

 

Well, I ended things with the auto race guy for other reasons in addition to his fanaticism for attending car races and monster truck events. Yes, in relationships it's necessary for each to make compromises for the other because everyone has different hobbies, tastes and activities that they like to do. But, when I see that someone has an over-the-top (to me) obsession with an activity or hobby that I can't see myself ever being a part of or not wanting in my life in any way, then it's time to cut the cord while it's still in the early dating phase.

 

There are plenty of other fishies in the great big ocean of life for me to date. It's not being selfish to be aware of the aspects of a person's personality that you don't want to have to deal with in the long term or that you know you'll never be compatible with - that's called being smart and being selective. ;)

 

 

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
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I've never really analyzed what should or shouldn't be done on a specific date number, but I suppose it does seem logical to not do something where it's gonna be difficult to interact.

 

I've only ever made it to one 3rd date, and it was a simple meetup at denny's after work. We chatted, ate, he held my hand. To me, it was perfect!

 

I'm sometimes not so great with hearing, so I can imagine a date where I am struggling to even hear what he's saying would get a bit disheartening.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
I wouldn't dump a guy cause he liked Auto Races. Kind of silly. In a relationship you have to do things with each other that sometimes the other one is not a fan of.

 

I worked with a man who was in his 70's. We got into a discussion about marriage and relationships. He was divorced and really regretted that his marriage didn't work out. He told me something I will never forget. He said, my wife love the opera and I would always tell her I didn't want to go. Now that I am divorced, I see that I should of went with her. You have to compromise and do things that you might not want to sometimes. I think if I took more interest in what she liked to do instead of being so selfish, we would still be married today. :)

 

 

I agree sunshine, if you marry a person or are really serious with them you would be accepting of their fave past times.....and on occasion be willing to attend events they enjoy......even if you didnt really enjoy them yourself...watching a partner in his goofy happy element is an enjoyable past time in itself...

 

i think though fro a second and third date it should be mutually enjoying or inspiring.....that's why i like being able to brain storm with a guy i am dating i get to know what they like and they get to know what i like.....

 

one of the reasons my ex gave off handedly why he wanted to leave me....is that he wanted to be with someone who could go to a club with him and he could drink with......i didnt really like going to the club one i dont drink, two poker machines also make me want to rip my hair out but if he wanted em to go i would have drunk diet coke....that wasnt good enough.he wanted mutual rolling down drunk...and i couldnt......i really think he was reaching to find reasons why we werent compatible.....that was however after fifteen years of being together.....

 

on the second or third date i really do think it is responsible to be honest on what you like and what you dont like......boring or not mutually fun dates...can sometimes impede a fourth or fifth date

 

but i do agree if you love someone and you are coupled, you go to events or activities that you wouldnt find totally enjoyable.....but...i do think its fair to limit that and have one or two solo pursuits....and not be joined at the hip......deb

SpiralOut Established Member

SpiralOut

Posted
Posted

I would love to go to a monster truck rally as a date because that sounds like fun, but I agree it may be too much for date #3 when you're still trying to get to know each other.

 

 

I would only be really turned off if the guy kept insisting upon doing something he knew I didn't want to do. It indicates a certain amount of selfishness. It's not that hard for two people to find something they both like, or at least don't mind doing together. Maybe further into the relationship you can take turns trying each others less than desirable hobbies but not right away IMO.

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