YankeeinNC Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I have been married for 9 years most of which have been pretty unhappy. We met on a web dating site and got married within 6 weeks, me in CT he in NC. I packed up my life and moved to NC and we got married. The first few months were nice. But his true colors started to show soon. He is very jealous and would blame me if a man looked at me. I have NO friends because he gets mad when I talk about developing friendships saying I am taking time away from him. I have put up with verbal and emotional abuse, some shoving and threats of physical abuse. 5 years ago I found that he had a membership on the same site on which we met. That stopped..or so I thought. Oh, he is also addicted to porn. He spends most of his time playing xbox which relieves me of having to deal with him most of the time. In early Jan 2015 I found that he had once again joined the dating site and this time I confronted him with it and his past abuse. All of the sudden he wants to be super husband and "do right". I have no interest and am scared to make the move and tell him that I am done and am moving back to CT. My family in CT is ready for me to return to the fold and begin a new life there. I am 52 years old and am very nervous about having to look for a new job. I work for a great boss, make great money and have an amazing work environment. So leaving this job will be the hardest part of moving. Oy, I guess I really did nee to let it all out! lol.
SycamoreCircle Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Have you given him any hint of what you're planning?
Author YankeeinNC Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 No, No hints. he has mentioned our separating several times as it is very hard for me to mask my unhappiness....but he pretty much begs me to stay. since I am not ready to leave yet ($$) I am keeping it under wraps.
coryreply Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Do you have any hope that he may change? Have you thought about MC? Do you think he would go with you?
KBarletta Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) What is his explanation for being married and yet maintaining membership in an online dating site? That seems like emotional cheating (at least) to me. That said, the abuse is what would be of paramount concern if it were me. It would take a lot of MC and IC before I would recommend giving an abuser another chance. Under the circumstances I can't blame you for wanting out. However, can you leave him without necessarily leaving the job that you love? Do you absolutely have to move home if you leave, or could you stay in the job and make a new life there since you love the job so much? P.S. - Since you're new to the boards, I'll tell you this: For most people here, NC means No Contact, just in case you get it confused with NC for North Carolina. Edited March 20, 2015 by KBarletta 1
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