Tayla Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Just gonna nod my head on this one...... One person seeking dirt on another...How common.... 1
Zahara Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 We've lived together for almost 4 years. I moved out and got my own place the first time we broke up and then we ended up getting back together and he moved in with me. We just moved to this new place in September. I have been looking for a room mate for two months just to help with the rent (even with him here) and I haven't been able to find anyone. My first choice is to kick him out believe me but I can't find anyone to move in. I do want to get away from him now... I am done being treated like dirt. And when you leave this time, don't go back. If it hasn't worked for 4 years, it never will. 1
Author Lunay Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 Just gonna nod my head on this one...... One person seeking dirt on another...How common.... I'm not sure what you mean?
Author Lunay Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 And when you leave this time, don't go back. If it hasn't worked for 4 years, it never will. I will definitely not be going back. It hurts like hell but i'll get over it and be able to look back one day and absolutely see how badly I was treated. I'm still cloudy though, still have a glimmer of hope but... it's fading. 1
jen1447 Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 You're on the right track in getting out, hon. Anyone who calls you a "c*nt" in anger is unacceptable in a relationship. On the time stamp thing, yes, it means he's lying. It technically could change within a single day, but it would mean he had to change the date and/or time on his phone, and you know he didn't do that. Cons (and this guy sounds like one) play the grey areas very well, and if they're conning someone who wants to believe them and is invested in believing in their credibility, it's easy. All the have to do is demonstrate an ounce of doubt. But in reality you don't need to eliminate absolutely all possibilities of innocence to conclude he's likely guilty. Examples - it's possible he dropped his phone and it magically adjusted the time, it's possible a solar flare disrupted his service and magically adjusted the time, it's possible an intruder broke into his house in the night to change the time on his phone, etc. But your common sense is enough to know none of those are true. If it feels like a lie, it usually is. 1
b_rouse Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 (edited) Your are exactly right, he does blame me for pretty much everything. He told me that if I go back to the girl I was two years ago that he will get rid of all the girls and treat me better... I know and he tells me I am now a b*tch and a c*nt and maybe he says this out of anger when we're fighting but it's not true... I am a good girlfriend. He even admitted I am the best girlfriend... SO why take me for granted? He also said that I should be grateful because "Do you know how many people would love to be in your shoes" im assuming this is because he makes a lot of money... but they don't know who he really is Whoa. That. That is f*cked up. Wow, he is manipulative and you are playing into his hands. The fact that he has all these girls on the side, and tells you about it, is ballsy (albeit says they're "just friends"). And yet, you're still with him. Girl, get out of that toxic relationship and find someone who won't treat you like garbage. Edited March 19, 2015 by b_rouse 1
Author Lunay Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 So I get a phone call from him this afternoon telling me that he doesn't understand how the wrong date got on the picture, that he took it right then and there... That he's only sent one picture like that before (The time two years ago) And then he proceeds to tell me that he loves me way too much and that he is going to get rid of all of his "friends". That he promises he will go back to the way he was. My responses were mostly just "yeah, yep, okay, etc.." as I was at work and couldn't really talk. Honestly I think it's guilt. He knows he was caught and this is his way of trying to make it better.
Zahara Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 So I get a phone call from him this afternoon telling me that he doesn't understand how the wrong date got on the picture, that he took it right then and there... That he's only sent one picture like that before (The time two years ago) And then he proceeds to tell me that he loves me way too much and that he is going to get rid of all of his "friends". That he promises he will go back to the way he was. My responses were mostly just "yeah, yep, okay, etc.." as I was at work and couldn't really talk. Honestly I think it's guilt. He knows he was caught and this is his way of trying to make it better. It doesn't matter, really. Calling you a b**** and a c*** and I am sure there's more bad behavior that you're not telling us -- this doesn't change the fact that you need to end this. And yes, it is guilt. He has to say the right thing and do the right thing to get you where he needs you to be. He needs to appease you so you stick around. Why all of a sudden HE needs to go back to what he was -- what happened to getting rid of his females and treating you better only if you go back to what you were? It's all fake words. 1
jen1447 Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 It's not genuine guilt. That would be an indication of some redeeming characteristic. (People who feel guilt also feel remorse after all, so what he's really trying to do is convince you he's a wonderful guy who feels those things.) What it really is though is just another maneuver to try to get you to doubt yourself and weaken your resolve. Don't fall for it. Guys like that never change. 1
Author Lunay Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 It doesn't matter, really. Calling you a b**** and a c*** and I am sure there's more bad behavior that you're not telling us -- this doesn't change the fact that you need to end this. And yes, it is guilt. He has to say the right thing and do the right thing to get you where he needs you to be. He needs to appease you so you stick around. Why all of a sudden HE needs to go back to what he was -- what happened to getting rid of his females and treating you better only if you go back to what you were? It's all fake words. I know I completely agree. I think he knows he's really messed it up this time. It's not genuine guilt. That would be an indication of some redeeming characteristic. (People who feel guilt also feel remorse after all, so what he's really trying to do is convince you he's a wonderful guy who feels those things.) What it really is though is just another maneuver to try to get you to doubt yourself and weaken your resolve. Don't fall for it. Guys like that never change. He said he will get rid of the girls so there's no suspicion. I think it's funny that it took me figuring out hes sending d*ck pics in order to give me the respect I deserved 2 weeks ago. I agree they don't change. I feel so empty toward him right now.
jen1447 Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 That emptiness is a good thing in your case. Cut the ties with him and go, girlfriend. 1
Genieve Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 So I get a phone call from him this afternoon telling me that he doesn't understand how the wrong date got on the picture, that he took it right then and there... That he's only sent one picture like that before (The time two years ago) And then he proceeds to tell me that he loves me way too much and that he is going to get rid of all of his "friends". That he promises he will go back to the way he was. My responses were mostly just "yeah, yep, okay, etc.." as I was at work and couldn't really talk. Honestly I think it's guilt. He knows he was caught and this is his way of trying to make it better. Too right!!! Actually realise I sent an FB a photo a few months old and pretended it was for him. I was really ignorant about the date thing doh! He said 'now could I have one for me' I didn't know he saw the date. 1
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