Piglet1209 Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Hello! I'm almost 20 and ive never had a boyfriend or anything close to a boyfriend, not even friends that are boys. I went to an all girls school my whole life and have never really had a chance to make friends with any guys despite my countless efforts. I've kissed and had sex with boys but they have never extended further than a one night fling. I can hold a conversation well and am out-going with my friends however I sometimes worry that I'm a little annoying but my few friends assure me I'm not, I can also be a little shy at times when approaching new people. I'm not the prettiest girl but I wouldn't say I'm ugly. All my friends are either drowning in attention from lots of boys or in a relationship and it's starting to affect my self esteem. I don't understand why boys always approach them and not me? What am I doing wrong?! I want, no, NEED advice on what I can do to meet and attract some boys! Please help!!
Redhead14 Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 (edited) Hello! I'm almost 20 and ive never had a boyfriend or anything close to a boyfriend, not even friends that are boys. I went to an all girls school my whole life and have never really had a chance to make friends with any guys despite my countless efforts. I've kissed and had sex with boys but they have never extended further than a one night fling. I can hold a conversation well and am out-going with my friends however I sometimes worry that I'm a little annoying but my few friends assure me I'm not, I can also be a little shy at times when approaching new people. I'm not the prettiest girl but I wouldn't say I'm ugly. All my friends are either drowning in attention from lots of boys or in a relationship and it's starting to affect my self esteem. I don't understand why boys always approach them and not me? What am I doing wrong?! I want, no, NEED advice on what I can do to meet and attract some boys! Please help!! Piglet, first I would suggest relaxing and taking the pressure off yourself to find someone. Anxiety over not being able to find someone comes across in strange ways when you date. You say you are shy, just muster up some courage to strike up a conversation with a guy once in a while, even if you aren't that attracted to him and do this a few times until you start to feel a little less shy. It doesn't matter if they ask you out, just have a nice friendly conversation. And be confident in yourself. Make yourself more approachable. If you aren't smiling at all or seem timid, a guy won't approach you because, well, you don't seem approachable. You say you are not the prettiest girl but not ugly. What are features of yours that you like the most? Eyes, hair, legs, boobs ? Start by doing and dressing in a way that highlights those features. If you have nice legs, wear a shorter skirt with a tasteful top, if you have pretty eyes, accentuate them with make up and wear clothing colors that offset them. Do something different with your hair. Change your clothing style. Just try some different things to see what works for you and what makes you "feel" the prettiest and confident. And, change your social circle. I don't mean stop seeing the people you usually hang with, but get involved in something that helps you meet new people. A bowling league, community theatre group, etc. I am an avid horseback rider and I've met lots of new people. Broaden your social circle. Sometimes people get stuck in a rut, hang with the same people, do the same things all the time and just get complacent and not being as attentive to themselves. Focus on being the best "you". Take some time to get comfortable with being you without worrying about finding someone else. Edited March 19, 2015 by Redhead14 1
SycamoreCircle Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 OP, I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 28. I felt very alone and isolated in my early 20's. In turn, it caused me to focus even more intensely on myself, which caused more isolation. In retrospect, I don't think many people in their early 20's are mentally and emotionally equipped to have deep, loving relationships. And I think that's becoming more the case with succeeding generations. Don't be too hard on yourself. Trust that with time you will begin to find who you are, what you stand for, what makes you beautiful and people will begin to notice. You're still growing!
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 If you want a BF what you are doing wrong is kissing boys & having sex with them before they have taken you on a date & agreed to be exclusive with you. You are devaluing yourself. When you do that, the boys in question don't feel the need to stick around or treat you like you are special. You clearly have some ability to meet men. Keep that up but be less promiscuous. 1
Recommended Posts