LookAtThisPOst Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I was wondering, if you see anyone that answers "yes" to having sex on the first date, is this a dealbreaker? I saw one woman, looks like she's looking for a meaningful relationship, late 40's, but yet answered yes to this. She did have an explanation of "if the attraction's there, then things may happen sooner" But I've often followed the philosophy that if someone is willing to have sex on the first date, that they've likely slept with a lot of other people casually. Usually, to me at least, it speaks volumes about how sexually loose they may be. I mean, the "chemistry" may be right, and the attraction can be there, but the discipline on keeping the relationship turning into something whirlwind in nature . And if he/she is wanting something meaningful, chances are having sex on the first date contradicts that, yes?
coolheadal Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 You can say no, but more chances are likely it will happen to you no matter what.
SycamoreCircle Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I think a mature person understands that chemistry is illusory and that what sets the conditions for a deep, meaningful relationship are deep, meaningful people. Personally, I would be wary of someone who says one thing but whose past actions reflect something else. I also believe that immature people can will themselves into a deep, meaningful relationship as easily as a one night stand. The truth of who they are though, ultimately shines through. 2
coolheadal Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Sure first day can be no making of love. But you really don't know who your dealing with and they want you and all of you then watch out. You can always tell them no, not yet.
Toodaloo Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Your thinking too much about her answer. Ignore it and find out for yourself. Something like this doesn't mean that she is going to rip her knickers off for any old man. She may also be like myself and randomly answering questions with out thinking too much about it, completely forgetting that they are public! Seriously it means nothing. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I agree that if somebody says yes to this that they probably have had more partners then somebody who was horrified by the idea. That alone doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't mean you have to have sex with them on the 1st date. However, if the person's answer turned you off, just don't message them on the site. No harm. No foul. 2
mstie Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 The second man I slept with was a first date. I wasn't drunk. I'm not promiscuous. The sex hurt because I had only done it one other time. I was 35. I used to judge people like this too. But once it happens, you understand. It can happen to anyone 2
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 The second man I slept with was a first date. I wasn't drunk. I'm not promiscuous. The sex hurt because I had only done it one other time. I was 35. I used to judge people like this too. But once it happens, you understand. It can happen to anyone Yes & no. Unless you were raped, sex didn't happen TO you. It was a behavior you chose to engage in. That is not me judging you but encouraging you to do what I think you are trying to do, which is take ownership of your own sexuality. Good luck!
central Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 Every woman I dated initiated sex by the second - or third - date. Some initiated on the first. If I liked them, I'd go for it. If I didn't see potential, I wouldn't. Willingness to consider having sex on the first date does not mean someone will. Most women - and men! - are willing to have sex early on if the right circumstances exist. The right circumstances may simply be attraction and desire for recreational sex. I see nothing wrong with that. And I don't think "promiscuity" means someone CAN'T commit or be faithful once they agree to be exclusive. Many other factors of their personality determine that. 1
salparadise Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 The way the questions is posed is, "would you consider having sex on a first date?" My answer, "if we're going on a date, I've already considered it." 2
rester Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I was wondering, if you see anyone that answers "yes" to having sex on the first date, is this a dealbreaker? Not for me. But I've often followed the philosophy that if someone is willing to have sex on the first date, that they've likely slept with a lot of other people casually. Usually, to me at least, it speaks volumes about how sexually loose they may be. That's not really a philosophy as much as it an assumption. In my experience, the sooner I have had sex with women, the more likely they have been to want to enter a monogamous relationship with me. I have never judged them for being "loose". Their sexual promiscuity before me is of no concern. I mean, the "chemistry" may be right, and the attraction can be there, but the discipline on keeping the relationship turning into something whirlwind in nature . And if he/she is wanting something meaningful, chances are having sex on the first date contradicts that, yes? Whirlwind relationships have never ended well for me, and I don't like them, but that doesn't mean sex can't happen early. Whirlwind to me is spending too much time together right away. That's when the discipline comes in...the discipline to keep one's life from getting wrapped up in a new partner. So I prefer to take things slow in that regard, but if sex is mutually agreed to early on, I think it's a great start to a relationship, and it's typically how my meaningful relationships have begun.
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