OneBigIdgit Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 my ex and I had been together for 21 months. I need to join Idgits Anonymous because I am truly and Idgit. From early in our relationship she wanted marriage because she is very religious and hated living in sin. I deflected the marriage talk because I had no desire to get into a quick marriage. I also deflected the requests to go to church with her because I feel like attending church is a matter of choice and shouldn't be guilt tripped into it. I have no problem with religion and was happy that she went to church. I just didn't want to go. Those 2 points were the reasons for the break up and both points were stated from the start that they were very important to her. So I am truly an Idgit because I let her slip away because I wouldn't give her a wedding on her timeline and didn't attend church with her. What I did do for her was give her much laughter, love although I didn't tell her, and taught her to dance in a manner she'd never dreamed of. I couldn't tell her that I loved her because it would get us back on the marriage subject. When we danced we had people tell us that what we were doing was magic. We came back from one dance and a couple came up and told us that everyone in the place wanted to be us that night. I am relating this because to me it should leave her with memories that someone else will have trouble achieving. Also, she told me that I had made her laugh during our time together more than she'd laughed in her life. Marriage and church issues weighed heavily on her. She broke up with me last August with pretty much saying that we didn't have much of a relationship without a wedding date set. We got back together 4 days later. She tried to break up again a month later but I told her that I needed her for 3 functions the next week. To postpone breaking up for another week. She did and enjoyed herself so much that breaking up wasn't mentioned again until mid Jan. When she broke up this time, I blew it off because we'd gotten back together so easily with no concessions on my part. This time she meant bidness and had a willing participant. About a week after breaking up with me, she moved 300+ miles to move in with a guy. He asked her to marry him about 20 days later. They might be married by now because they have been together 2 months. I found out that they were engaged and I had been no contact for about 32 days without knowing what no contact was. Its pretty much my nature to leave someone alone to sort out their thoughts. I found out about the engagement, 2 days later sent her a exploratory text to see if she would talk to me. She replied that she so needed to talk to me that day. She said she was wearing some clothes that I had given her and my jacket, which I don't remember. She said she had heard a song on the radio that morning and had thought of me. I actually did pretty well in this texting session without knowing the rules of no contact. I didn't beg. I told her that her work with me was done and to go have fun. I apologized for any wear and tear I had put on her emotions. She thanked me for contacting her and told me that she was going to wipe away the tears and go be the best wife that her new man could hope for. I found out about NC on here. Ive been reading here for about a month but just joined today because of a really bad day. I felt like I really needed to contact her. I didn't. But I did about a week ago after making it to 25 days of NC. The reply I got was very polite and VERY short. Not what I was looking for so from here on out NO CONTACT means NO CONTACT. lol Within 2 weeks of moving in with this guy she had posted on her facebook wall a very complimentary story of her new man and started out by thanking God for leading her to him. If I want my ex, do any of these programs help in getting back the ex when God led them to the new relationship???????HELP
Author OneBigIdgit Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 her new guy makes gobs of money and almost lives in church. Neither help my situation
Author OneBigIdgit Posted March 19, 2015 Author Posted March 19, 2015 That will teach me to text God and negotiate with him for my ex?? I'm teasing but I really see how difficult it would to leave him after lets say, my ex, who has announced to the world on Facebook that God led her to this guy and proclaiming how much she loves him after moving in with him a maximum of 10 days. I am suspicious that her brother hooked her up with this guy in possibly December, and then she left me in mid January so they had been internet corresponding for a month before she actually moved in with him. We all have baggage, he probably has baggage as well, but she has plenty of it. I suppose I had grown ok with this baggage for us to have made it 20+ months. But unless he doesn't agree with her baggage, I have a problem seeing how she would leave that relationship after blasting it for all to see how much she loves him after living with him a few days. But love conquers all, eh?
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