grabaka Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I'm writing this to vent. Im very frustrated, depressed, and just keep getting lower and lower as far as my outlook on starting over and finding happiness. My wife of 6 years cheated on me with married man and divorced me....the married man ended up dumping her and going back to his wife. Granted that could be karma...but yet it gets worse. Due to my ex wifes actions not only did I get my heart ripped out, I had multiple nervous breakdowns, had to move out of our home, leave our 2 dogs I will never see again, and move into an apartment that is a constant reminder of I am only here because of what she has done. Now she is deciding not to follow our divorce settlement and she spent all of our joint income tax when it wasnt agreed upon that she gets it all so now I have to drag her back to court. My point is she has lied, cheated, stole, broke up a home...and she hasnt had to pay the consequences one bit for what she has done. I asked her once why she could so easily crush me and my feelings after 6 years, her reply was I need to get over it. Granted I do but easier said than done. When is her day going to come, when she has to pay for her actions...or when will "karma" bite her in the butt. I have heard from a friend that my ex-wife is out living it up seeming happy as can be, and she hurt so many people just by having an affair. Anyways I look at is as Im suffering and she is on top of the world. I hate this. Yes all betrayed spouses what their ex to pay the price...but really do they? As I sit here depressed and struggling to cope with having my emotions ripped apart, she gets to go out and live and laugh? Yeah before anyone says it I know I am in charge of my life and my own happiness, but why is it people can do horrible things and not care or pay for them? Sorry, just needed to vent.
ASV Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Time gets everyone to his place, just be patient, move on and live by your own. And think that more often than we think people live by false masks and appearances to hide their own weaknesses. Thrive for a better you and the rest will come. And then I'll apply the theory myself.
NopeNah Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Focus on the thing's in life that make you happy. Live life to the fullest and carry on..I really doubt she's on top of the world. The tax money will be blown on stupid stuff,it's gone. Just get out there and do your thing!
GoBlue Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 When is her day going to come, when she has to pay for her actions...or when will "karma" bite her in the butt. I have heard from a friend that my ex-wife is out living it up seeming happy as can be, and she hurt so many people just by having an affair. I went through a divorce after 16 years of marriage. The pain is palpable, always present, and life consuming. I remember those nights I could only sleep for 45 minutes, losing tons of weight because of my brokenness, and dreading every 24 hour day because it felt like it actually took a week to get through. I remember people who tried to be helpful telling me that it would pass and thinking to myself "When???" I will tell you two things that are vital: do not isolate yourself. When you sit in an empty apartment all by yourself, naturally the focus becomes you and what you don't have anymore. Support through intentional relationship is very important. Second, going through a Divorce Recovery Group was the single best thing that helped me begin recovery in my own emotional life. There is help but you have to make the decision to find it. It may appear that your wife is living it up and is as happy as a lark, but the truth of the matter is that sin is its own reward. I am a Christian believer and there is a verse that says, "if you sow to please the flesh you will reap destruction, but if you sow to please the Spirit you will reap eternal life." I know this firsthand because I lost everything - my wife, my children, and my calling - because I sowed to please the flesh (SELFISHNESS). It has been a long road to find joy again but time and intentionality has brought the change. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If I can be of further help do not hesitate to message me. 1
KBarletta Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 I am sorry you are struggling, grabaka. I totally relate though. Our time-tables are similar. My wife left in November and though we have been in very limited contact, there have been no signs that she has struggled with this as much as I have. She seems to be happy, even though there was no abuse, no cheating, no real overt reason for unhappiness on her part other than whatever was going on inside of her head, which she neglected to share with me. There are a few possible reasons why this happens: 1. The main one is that she detached emotionally before you knew the relationship was over. This means that she did her grieving for your marriage privately. Then, when you realized the marriage was over, you had to go through that pain alone. She had already moved on, so it seemed like she wasn't upset. 2. Also, there's a chance she is experiencing a high from the breakup and later will come back down to earth and realize what she's lost, then mourn for it. This is less likely, but also possible. Either way, though, I would urge you to concentrate not on her but on YOU. Make your life everything that you want it to be. Do what makes you happy. Don't dwell on what makes you unhappy. Concentrate on what you have, make the best of it and live the life that you have always wanted. 1
bigtrouble Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 I'm writing this to vent. Im very frustrated, depressed, and just keep getting lower and lower as far as my outlook on starting over and finding happiness. My wife of 6 years cheated on me with married man and divorced me....the married man ended up dumping her and going back to his wife. Granted that could be karma...but yet it gets worse. Due to my ex wifes actions not only did I get my heart ripped out, I had multiple nervous breakdowns, had to move out of our home, leave our 2 dogs I will never see again, and move into an apartment that is a constant reminder of I am only here because of what she has done. Now she is deciding not to follow our divorce settlement and she spent all of our joint income tax when it wasnt agreed upon that she gets it all so now I have to drag her back to court. My point is she has lied, cheated, stole, broke up a home...and she hasnt had to pay the consequences one bit for what she has done. I asked her once why she could so easily crush me and my feelings after 6 years, her reply was I need to get over it. Granted I do but easier said than done. When is her day going to come, when she has to pay for her actions...or when will "karma" bite her in the butt. I have heard from a friend that my ex-wife is out living it up seeming happy as can be, and she hurt so many people just by having an affair. Anyways I look at is as Im suffering and she is on top of the world. I hate this. Yes all betrayed spouses what their ex to pay the price...but really do they? As I sit here depressed and struggling to cope with having my emotions ripped apart, she gets to go out and live and laugh? Yeah before anyone says it I know I am in charge of my life and my own happiness, but why is it people can do horrible things and not care or pay for them? Sorry, just needed to vent. I'm sorry for your pain. But she got what she deserved... Karma... I know you feel so much pain right now... If you think of it she too must feel it... She wasted her chance with being with you... Only to be dumped... It may hurt her also... Stop wallowing in the pain and get yourself together... Karma is on your side... She may be in a tighter spot right now... And you definitely in a better one... Be strong brother... .. 1
Author grabaka Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 I'm sorry for your pain. But she got what she deserved... Karma... I know you feel so much pain right now... If you think of it she too must feel it... She wasted her chance with being with you... Only to be dumped... It may hurt her also... Stop wallowing in the pain and get yourself together... Karma is on your side... She may be in a tighter spot right now... And you definitely in a better one... Be strong brother... .. I dont know if she is in pain or not...or if she is bothered by it or having a hard time. From what my friends tell me she is posting all these pictures of her out and about laughing and smiling with friends on facebook. I avoid her facebook like the plague, seeing her happy and go lucky like nothing happened, or she did no wrong makes me feel as if she got away with everything and had to pay no consequences.
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