Johnson1 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks. She keeps a lot of things hidden like her friends list on FB and who she speaks with over the phone and texts right in front of me. She claims it's none of my business and turns it into a trust issue. She also gets rides to bars from 'friends' because she doesn't have a car, but I have no idea who they are because I was never introduced to them. My point is, how much right does someone have to know in a situation like this? I think I have the right to know if she's sleeping with everyone in town and putting me at risk and blatantly lying to my face, which she very well could be doing, but turning it around on me and making it into a trust issue. 1
MidwestUSA Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Two weeks? Are you exclusive? If not, then you don't really 'need' to know anything. If you're sleeping with her, then yes, you have a right to know if she's sleeping around. 4
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Considering you've been dating for only two weeks, if I were her, I'd tell you to take a hike. You barely know each other...how does a two week "relationship" give you the right to question her every move? 10
Author Johnson1 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Two weeks? Are you exclusive? If not, then you don't really 'need' to know anything. If you're sleeping with her, then yes, you have a right to know if she's sleeping around. Yes, supposedly we're exclusive, so she says, but that doesn't mean squat. Anyone can say that and still cheat. Actions speak louder than words. Yes, I've been sleeping with her. Unprotected. A Lot.
central Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 You have no rights whatsoever. And certainly not after only 2 weeks of dating. Later, you still don't have "rights" - you have the ability to negotiate what you will and won't share with each other, and mutually set boundaries that apply to both of you when in a committed relationship. 4
Author Johnson1 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Considering you've been dating for only two weeks, if I were her, I'd tell you to take a hike. You barely know each other...how does a two week "relationship" give you the right to question her every move? It gives me the right to know who she associates with because I'm the one that's at risk by sleeping with her. For all I know she could be a prostitute by day since she doesn't have a job. Why would she want to hide anything? That's the question.
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Yes, supposedly we're exclusive, so she says, but that doesn't mean squat. Anyone can say that and still cheat. Actions speak louder than words. Yes, I've been sleeping with her. Unprotected. A Lot. This is why you get to know someone before you sleep with them and use protection at that. You have NO idea what she's capable of. 7
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks. She keeps a lot of things hidden like her friends list on FB and who she speaks with over the phone and texts right in front of me. She claims it's none of my business and turns it into a trust issue. She also gets rides to bars from 'friends' because she doesn't have a car, but I have no idea who they are because I was never introduced to them. My point is, how much right does someone have to know in a situation like this? I think I have the right to know if she's sleeping with everyone in town and putting me at risk and blatantly lying to my face, which she very well could be doing, but turning it around on me and making it into a trust issue. I am assuming you two are very young. She's your girlfriend after two weeks? At two weeks it's none of your business what she does Period. You two shouldn't be sleeping with each other after two weeks of knowing each other either. The reason for that is that you don't know her well enough to know whether she's sleeping with everyone in town. 3
MrNate 2.0 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Well, this one has potential. Just gonna insert the popcorn into the ole microwave here.... 9
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 It gives me the right to know who she associates with because I'm the one that's at risk by sleeping with her. For all I know she could be a prostitute by day since she doesn't have a job. Why would she want to hide anything? That's the question. You chose to sleep with her and you chose to not use protection. That doesn't give you any rights. Did she force you to do anything? Doubtful. 2
Satu Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 She has an absolute right to privacy, as do you. You should try to be more responsible in your sex life, as should she. Please don't be one of those jealous people who sees every other male in a woman's life as a threat. 3
Zahara Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Yes, I've been sleeping with her. Unprotected. A Lot. Why? You know nothing about her. All it takes is one person to give you something. Very foolish. 2
wb1988 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 2 weeks is way too soon. Actually after reading your post I had to look back at the start because what you said make it sound like 2 months or 2 years. Also instead of "rights" I'd use "privilege" or "allowed" (e.g. I should be allowed to know). Using the word "right" seems to strike a chord with many women. 1
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 What you have a right to do is not sleep with her until you've known her for a good long while, because 2 weeks is not a relationship yet. And if you don't get a grip on your premature insecurity and jealousy, it will be the end of every relationship you have before they even get started good! 3
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 You have no rights. She is her own person and you should respect that. You're not. The reason why you're not is because you are incredibly insecure. The problem is with you, not her. Dating sounds like a bad idea if you are this insecure. 3
Jessie1231 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 It gives me the right to know who she associates with because I'm the one that's at risk by sleeping with her. For all I know she could be a prostitute by day since she doesn't have a job. Why would she want to hide anything? That's the question. If you aren't certain someone isn't a prostitute by day, maybe you should put off the unprotected sex. 3
Gary S Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 If she liked you and was not messing with other guys, she'd friend you on Spacebook.
MidwestUSA Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Yes, supposedly we're exclusive, so she says, but that doesn't mean squat. Anyone can say that and still cheat. Actions speak louder than words. Yes, I've been sleeping with her. Unprotected. A Lot. IIRC, you're old enough to know better. Your actions speak pretty loudly too. You have no problem putting your own health at risk, but are hung up on some 'friends' she has that you feel you should know about after two weeks. That she didn't make you wrap it tells me she's probably already carrying something, and doesn't care what else she contracts.
Versacehottie Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 wow, you sound so hostile, judgmental and untrusting of her. Why in the world would you want a relationship with someone you can't trust and it's popping into your mind that she could be a prostitute? Hmmmm. Two weeks in, don't really see a point. 1
sagamore Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks. She keeps a lot of things hidden like her friends list on FB and who she speaks with over the phone and texts right in front of me. She claims it's none of my business and turns it into a trust issue. She also gets rides to bars from 'friends' because she doesn't have a car, but I have no idea who they are because I was never introduced to them. My point is, how much right does someone have to know in a situation like this? I think I have the right to know if she's sleeping with everyone in town and putting me at risk and blatantly lying to my face, which she very well could be doing, but turning it around on me and making it into a trust issue. Holy dysfunction Batman. I can't tell whether you're overly controlling or she's a shifty prostitute - or both! - but either way I'm sure you should break up immediately. And definitely before your careless actions bring a poor, defenseless baby into the world as a result of this mess of a relationship. Honestly, if you were a friend of mine, I'd tell you to get into therapy immediately. Having unprotected sex with someone you don't trust is reckless, self-destructive behavior. 1
katiegrl Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 OP, you sound young...so I would suggest you read these posts...and learn!
MidwestUSA Posted March 19, 2015 Posted March 19, 2015 OP, you sound young...so I would suggest you read these posts...and learn! If I recall, OP is pushing 50, and was married for quite some time. Like 25 years? Times have changed. 1
Recommended Posts