JohnsonBaby Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Me and this guy had a great date ,had great conversations found out we have alot in common etc ,at the end of the date we kissed and overall there is strong attraction between us . Since that date he calls me every single day ,texts me ,sends me voice messages all the time saying the sweetest things ,sends me more pics than I want(lol) ,often shirtless . He doesn't talk about sex but how "pure" my heart is and how much he loves my personality ,my body ,kindness etc . He seems genuinely intersted ,however I was a bit shocked when he said "I love you " after 10 days from meeting each other . He keeps saying it everyday ,how special I am ,the best woman he ever met and even went as far as talking about wanting children and a family with me .He lives 7 hours away so that complicates things ..but I really want to get to know him better . Do you think I should be cautious with this behaviour ? What are your thoughts ? Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Have you slept with him?? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Id be freaked out completely! Especially by the shirtless pics....YUCK. That IMO is a sure sign he's insecure. He needs reassurance and by saying all these things so soon he's reeling you in quickly so he feels secure. Never mind whether he truly means any of it or not. Yeah he probably does right now, but its a short high that will pass quickly and he'll be searching for that new relationship high with another when this one with you enters its lull. My question is - are you sure he is truly single? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Me and this guy had a great date ,had great conversations found out we have alot in common etc ,at the end of the date we kissed and overall there is strong attraction between us . Since that date he calls me every single day ,texts me ,sends me voice messages all the time saying the sweetest things ,sends me more pics than I want(lol) ,often shirtless . He doesn't talk about sex but how "pure" my heart is and how much he loves my personality ,my body ,kindness etc . He seems genuinely intersted ,however I was a bit shocked when he said "I love you " after 10 days from meeting each other . He keeps saying it everyday ,how special I am ,the best woman he ever met and even went as far as talking about wanting children and a family with me .He lives 7 hours away so that complicates things ..but I really want to get to know him better . Do you think I should be cautious with this behaviour ? What are your thoughts ? You should absolutely be cautious about him. After one date! That's entirely too fast for anyone to be even be thinking that they love someone and want to have a family and children with someone. This guy either gets into "instant" relationships or thinks he's being smooth in order to get sex. He is coming in too hot. I'd think twice about seeing him again, but if you decide you want to, be very careful. Do not accept dates at his home for quite some time. Make sure the dates are public and that you have your car. Don't let him pick you up. Try to have some casual conversation about each others dating/relationship history. With this one, that will be important. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) We haven't had sex . He does seem very Insecure ,he takes daily pictures of his body and very into fitness In general.I thought perhaps he's one of those kind of people who crushes really quickly. Problem is ,he's saying and doing all the right things and I don't want to catch feelings for a "fraud" Eta: he also seem to want me to say "I love you back" Edited March 18, 2015 by JohnsonBaby Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 He's full of it. It takes 7 weeks for a man to fall in love. Busted! And 7 hours is probably too far away? Only 1 in 1,000 long distance relationships work out. Maybe you should play the lotto, 7 seems to be your lucky (unlucky!) number. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 The red flag is that he is clearly in love with love. That's okay only as long as someone has the self-discipline to not let themselves start assuming that every woman they date is "the perfect one" in their imagination and give themselves time to really get to know her. Usually what happens if they project this perfect woman onto you is somewhere down the road, they become disgruntled that you changed, when you did not. At that point, they just begin to get to know YOU. If you really like him, then of course give him a shot, but you might remind him over and over that he doesn't even know you yet and so he can't love you. He just loves what you look like right now and thinks that matches up well enough with his ideal woman in his head, who he assumes is sweet and acquiescent and all that BS. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 He's full of it. It takes 7 weeks for a man to fall in love. Busted! And 7 hours is probably too far away? Only 1 in 1,000 long distance relationships work out. Maybe you should play the lotto, 7 seems to be your lucky (unlucky!) number. Lol that's funny . So what is this about ? Getting the cookie? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 He's full of it. It takes 7 weeks for a man to fall in love. Busted! And 7 hours is probably too far away? Only 1 in 1,000 long distance relationships work out. Maybe you should play the lotto, 7 seems to be your lucky (unlucky!) number. Where do you get this "7 weeks" from? OP - I'm SURE he wants you to say something back. All he's doing is fishing for you to compliment him and/or feed his ego. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Where do you get this "7 weeks" from? - Years of dating and relationship research. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Those that shoot off the blocks, likely crash and burn just as fast. Beware of future fakers/faking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 So he wants an ego boost , sex and he s insecure . Sounds like a narcissist to me. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Another good indicator is his social media. If he's shared it with you yet. If not, might be worth it to ask him. Does he have hundreds of friends on Facebook? does he post his shirtless pictures constantly? Does he change his profile picture every hour..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'm sure he likes you, but I think he's trying to 'buy you' with words. Proceed with caution, if at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Unless I felt the same way, I'd be very put off by his behavior. Proceed with caution and don't get sucked in by all the lovely words and sentiments. If you like him, stick around and see if those words are eventually backed up by action. He can't love you, he doesn't know you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 The red flag is that he is clearly in love with love. That's okay only as long as someone has the self-discipline to not let themselves start assuming that every woman they date is "the perfect one" in their imagination and give themselves time to really get to know her. Usually what happens if they project this perfect woman onto you is somewhere down the road, they become disgruntled that you changed, when you did not. At that point, they just begin to get to know YOU. If you really like him, then of course give him a shot, but you might remind him over and over that he doesn't even know you yet and so he can't love you. He just loves what you look like right now and thinks that matches up well enough with his ideal woman in his head, who he assumes is sweet and acquiescent and all that BS. I think you have a very good point,he actually said I m perfect " which is something that scared me cuz I m far from perfect and if he's idealizing me thinking I m this perfect goddess he will be in for disappointment .Also the fact he's so into his physical appearance is uncomfortable to me,in the back of my mind I think ,what happen when I will lose my looks ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 He is in love with love and the idea he has of you because YOU he does not know anything about yet. If a man told me he loved me after 10 days I think I would answer with : Lets get married!!! right now!!! and we can stop at the medical clinic on our way back from Church to get you tested, did I tell you I need a new kidney? Lets see how much he loves you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 He is in love with love and the idea he has of you because YOU he does not know anything about yet. If a man told me he loved me after 10 days I think I would answer with : Lets get married!!! right now!!! and we can stop at the medical clinic on our way back from Church to get you tested, did I tell you I need a new kidney? Lets see how much he loves you. Ha! You know, I always feel turned off when men go so head over heels immediately. Yet my parents got engaged a week after they men (in 1974), and I wonder sometimes how my mom must have felt at the time. On board enough to say yes, at least! Still, I think about all the men I've gone on dates with, and not a single one of them (OK, maybe there was one) have inspired that kind of deep, genuine feeling so quickly. Hmm ... Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 if she loved him and liked him as much then she would think its sweet all the things he is saying to her and she would reply them back. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Well if he was talking about sex more, I'd say he was trying to butter you up to get laid. But this guy seems like more of the needy/clingy type. Contacting you every single day, saying I love you after one date, etc.. For all you know he has a shrine and candlelight vigil in his house focused on you. If a woman was acting that way towards me after one date, I'd end things in the blink of an eye. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Now you mention he's so into his own looks, he may be just straight up shallow and only care about body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I wonder if he's 'projecting hope' onto you because he feels the need of a mni messiah to make his life better? Just a thought, and might be totally wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Unless I felt the same way, I'd be very put off by his behavior. Proceed with caution and don't get sucked in by all the lovely words and sentiments. If you like him, stick around and see if those words are eventually backed up by action. He can't love you, he doesn't know you. I agree in one sense, but on the other hand, strong infatuation can happen that quickly. And as someone else said, people have been known to come together like opposite poles of rare earth magnets and find lasting love. The problem here is that the feeling is a lot stronger on one side than the other, and generally speaking, it needs to be something that unfolds for both of you together. If you really like the guy and want it to work out, I'd say give him a clue (gently) and see if you can come to be on the same page. Just be honest (not brutally) and hope for the best. But if you know it's not going to happen for you... let him down gently, sooner rather than later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Why is he saying I love you just after 10 days: Because that is the oldest, easiest way to get in your pants. Men know women go soft when hearing ILY and this guy doesn't mind saying whatever it will take to get sex. Don't believe him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Ha! You know, I always feel turned off when men go so head over heels immediately. Yet my parents got engaged a week after they men (in 1974), and I wonder sometimes how my mom must have felt at the time. On board enough to say yes, at least! Still, I think about all the men I've gone on dates with, and not a single one of them (OK, maybe there was one) have inspired that kind of deep, genuine feeling so quickly. Hmm ... I've felt it a few times. It really isn't that uncommon for a normal, emotionally balanced person to simply just " connect " and " click " and fall head over heels for a new date. Some people hold out for.people they fall hard for. You just have to be careful of the ones who are just in love with the idea of love itself. It happens to me a moment or so ago. The guy cried when I broke it off...we didn't click or get along very well and yet he was alluding to want to be all serious. Where as I was simply very attracted yet wasn't into his personality. It was obvious hr was just in love with the notion of finding the one. Link to post Share on other sites
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