Will we ever get back together?

[CGallant]

Hi. I'm just looking for some advice and maybe some people who went through the same thing. It's a long story so if you take the time to read it I thank you a lot.

 

My ex boyfriend and I started dating "officially" in May of last year. However we had been hanging out since December 2013 and talked every single day and did things couples did. We just didn't have the official title. He was my second serious boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. He's a little younger then me, I was 21 when we met and he was 18 and turned 19 in January. He was a virgin and never did anything with a girl before. He never drank a beer until he met me and didn't even know there was a strip club in our city. He was a boy who never experienced a lot in life. I brought him to two of his first concerts, I wish the first girl he slept in the same bed with, I was the first girl he did a lot of things with. I introduced him to so much. I fell in love with his innocence very quickly. There was some things I didn't like about him like that he wore shorts all the time even in a snow storm, and he never dressed up or wore dress shoes, we never went on dates where he paid (but that's ok because he's a student), he never told me I was pretty or anything like that and we never once made out, sometimes it hurt but I still loved him anyways. He would stay up talking to me till 2 in the morning or we would stay up together till 2 in the morning, he would come get me after work at 11 to go for drives. We were inseparable for so long. His friends never seen him so happy and I was never so happy. The thing is he never told me he loved me, but I always thought he did, he was just to shy to find the words, and his friends agreed but he did tell me that he could imagine our lives together. However everything started to go downhill in September when I moved away for school. I came home every single weekend to spend time with him but we would both always be doing homework and never really for alone time. In October the sex completely stopped. I questioned why and at first it was because he was scared I would get pregnant and he didn't want to follow in his sisters footsteps and not be able to support a family. But then he said it was just something he didn't care to do, and I said I have needs and he said he did to and I wasn't respecting them. I blamed myself and thought maybe I wasn't pretty enough but he said it doesn't matter who it is he wouldn't have sex. Anyways I started to feel down, I was stressed out from school and sometimes sex can be a stress reliever. There was sometimes I thought about breaking up with him but when I thought about it I knew I would miss him too much. Anyways our fights got worse. I was very insecure because my boyfriend before this one cheated on me. I had to ask who every single girl was because chances are he was doing something with her, so I carried on these trust issues and I constantly asked my boyfriend who girls were and he got mad at me. He knew I had trust issues that I was working on but this pushed him away. I became more and more stressed with school and he was stressed to, I started to become jealous of girls he sat with in school because they were getting more time with him then I was and I was upset when he didn't invite me on a family trip, and I was such a bitter person the last two months that I fought with my parents. In January my ex decided "I don't like her anymore" and he started to have doubts about us. I knew I had to make it up to him and show him I was the girl he fell for and he was suppose to come up to visit me the week after valentines day to celebrate a week late but his mom wouldn't let him come up because "the roads were bad" so I made the mistake of saying I felt like I was dating a child because his mom controls his life" big mistake I know ... And that moment he broke up with me over a text...I drove home to try and talk to him but he wouldn't see me ... The next day I went to his house, and he knew I was coming to drop books off I borrowed and he wouldn't see me ... I banged and banged on the door like a pathetic person and he would not open, then I went to his house a week or later(he told me I could) to get a dish back and see his dog who is dying. I tried to talk about us and he got pissed off, he told me to leave and I wouldn't because I wanted to talk (in my past relationship with the cheater whenever we fought, it was natural we would be at each other's house fighting until we made up) so I thought we could talk but it turned ugly.. We work together and we seen each other at work the other day and we talked about his dad and his dog., things he wouldn't tell anyone else. However it's been 3 and half weeks since we broke up and I hAve literally been texting him every single day like a desperate person apologizing and asking for a second chance. I know there's no one else because I was his first girlfriend in 4 years and he's a shy guy. When he doesn't answer I get pissed off and send even more message until he answers. I know this is pathetic and dumb and desperate. I'm just wondering if there is any way I can get him back? Anyway that he can realize I was going through a tough time in my life with school, even before this program I told him that a lot of people broke up in it. He said he has no feelings left for me whatever so ever but I don't know if he's serious or not, how can you lose everything for someone in 2 months? Is it possible that he could realize **** she did love me that's why she got jealous? Is there anyway he can erase the person I've been the last 2 months and fall for the girl he fell with from

The beginning ? My friends keep telling me I'm pretty, smart, have a good head on my shoulder and can do better but I want this person. I've never been so happy with anyone. I just need advice. Thank you.

[mightycpa]

The Answer

[AIJ]

First off, I'd imagine he didn't just lose feelings for you over the span of 2 months. It probably began much, much earlier, and over time, his attraction decreased to a point where he no longer felt it was viable to be in a relationship with you. That's just the way it is.

 

Begging and pleading isn't going to help. Just cut all contact with him. It's such a simple thing yet so hard to implement. Best of luck to you, it's tough, but there's a huge network of support right here for you. Listen to the advice you receive, and you'll be just fine

[lumberjac]

I can feel for you, but I would suggest you to move on.

 

You and him are both too young to know each other is the one. He's clearly at the stage where he just want to have fun and explore now that he has grew up. Don't worry too much about what happened, because it already happened, its in the past.

 

You should now focus on yourself and heal. Spend 100% of time and energy on yourself from this moment, and if you want you can think back to this situation in a few weeks or months time. Then you'll have a more clear picture of what had happened. and implement the right move accordingly.

 

But right now, there's nothing you can do but to concentrate on yourself. He might come back to you one day, as friend, or more, but definitely not now.

[d0nnivain]

No you won't get back together.

 

 

This wasn't a good relationship to begin with. There were significant things you didn't like including him not telling you he loved you. You went back to school & the sex stopped. When you tried to tell him about your needs he didn't care. It has nothing to do with your looks & everything to do with his sex drive.

 

 

Then you turned into a crazy jealous person. The constant texting, banging on his door & generally being psycho pushed him away further. Right now he's thinking he dodged a bullet.

 

 

Your best bet: stay at school more, immerse yourself in your studies & in time look around to see if there is anybody worth dating there