Sogemini88 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) Usually when I start to date a guy, by the third week he's asking me to be his girlfriend. A few times those have resulted in long relationships, and other times not. I understand every situation is different, and no one should Rush into anything without being certian of their decisions. Most of the time I was blinded by lust or the idea of the relationship, and they just didn't work out. I've been dating a guy for the past month and a half now. We have known each other for quite a few years and it is literally perfect. The chemistry in undeniable, and I feel like i know him much more than the others guys I've dated in the past, because of our history and how close we are. What's taking him so long? He refers to me as his girl, I'm just wondering what your opinions are on it. We have discussed relationships and the types of relationships we are looking for. I just don't want to bring up the topic and make him feel pressured or rushed. I want to give it by April but I dont want to continue to act like we are in a relationship without a title. Edited March 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Usually when I start to date a guy, by the third week he's asking me to be his girlfriend. A few times those have resulted in long relationships, and other times not. I understand every situation is different, and no one should Rush into anything without being certian of their decisions. Most of the time I was blinded by lust or the idea of the relationship, and they just didn't work out. I've been dating a guy for the past month and a half now. We have known each other for quite a few years and it is literally perfect. The chemistry in undeniable, and I feel like i know him much more than the others guys I've dated in the past, because of our history and how close we are. What's taking him so long? He refers to me as his girl, I'm just wondering what your opinions are on it. We have discussed relationships and the types of relationships we are looking for. I just don't want to bring up the topic and make him feel pressured or rushed. I want to give it by April but I dont want to continue to act like we are in a relationship without a title. It is too soon to be declaring it a "relationship" no matter what your past dating scenarios were like. They ended. You rushed into those scenarios and you are rushing this one as well. Try something new . . . It would be wise, if you truly want to have a better chance of having a long lasting relationship with this man, to let it unfold naturally for a little while longer even past April. If you have been intimate, though, it would be wise to approach the subject of exclusivity at least. You can say "I'm enjoying our time together and the intimacy. I am not interested in dating anyone else, what about you?" And, let him talk. He may not be the "type" who rushes into a relationship. I wouldn't bring this up in April even. And, you don't have to "act" like you are in a relationship when you aren't and shouldn't be. You should simply be enjoying the time with him at this point and keeping your expectations and emotions in check. Just because you've known each other for some time, doesn't mean you know each other well enough to be in a relationship. If you do feel the need to broach the subject of declaring that you two are boyfriend and girlfriend in April though, it wouldn't be pressuring him if you said "I'd like it if we could talk about our relationship and what it means to each of us". This is non-confrontational and casual. Not too much pressure. It's always awkward to bring up and have these kinds of conversations, but approaching it this way is a little bit easier. Simply make the statement and then let him talk. Don't say "hey, why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend yet" or "I want you to call me your girlfriend", etc. This puts him on the defensive. I am not trying to be critical, just offering some sage advice. 1
Elias33 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Relax and enjoy. Wanting a relationship should not drive you away from a person you enjoy hanging out with. He calls you his girl, so the lingo is there. Give it some time, and when you want to know, why don't you just ask?
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 You are hung up on the labels. Don't be. If his actions are good, that's better than a bunch of empty words. But if you need the words, start the conversation. Don't sit there seething because he isn't talking.
Vintage79 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I'm sorry, this is a ridiculous post. They've been dating for 1.5 months, the guy refers to her has his girl, and she's fretting about it, and thinking she'll break up with him if he doesn't discuss a label (i.e girlfriend vs "his girl") in the next couple weeks. OP - you're shooting yourself in the foot. If you need to be labelled, just start the conversation yourself. Personally I'm not a stickler for labels, and a lot of other people feel the same way - if this guy just doesn't care about the label, he may never bring it up. That said, he's acting like you're a couple and effectively referring to you as his girlfriend. Stop being paranoid and start working on your self-esteem. This situation is fine - enjoy it, don't worry about it.
Author Sogemini88 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 I hear you. I shouldn't be hung up on the labels, your right. I'll go with the flow. Sometimes us women over analyze! Haha thanks for letting me vent guys! 2
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I hear you. I shouldn't be hung up on the labels, your right. I'll go with the flow. Sometimes us women over analyze! Haha thanks for letting me vent guys! That's why we're here I understand wanting to label it, it's just too soon to think about it. If you're at 6 months and it isn't clear or becoming unclear to you, then I'd broach the subject.
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