Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Stick with us kid, you'll be feeling better soon You already sound better!
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Just going by what you said he said about pleading with you to move on, I'm guessing you're trying to continue to cling to him. He's done. No one wants someone trying to cling to them once they're finished with the relationship. Now, that doesn't mean certain types of people can't maybe be friends, but not when you have that kind of intensity where you feel so strongly you want him back and keep demanding to be friends or talk or whatever. You can't remain friends with him because you still want him back and he knows it. He's being smart. I'm sorry it's so painful for you and that you feel it came out of the blue, but you have to realize whether or not you did anything wrong, he has a right to decide you're not the one and move on. If you make a clean no contact break from him now and move on and go out with friends and get back in the saddle, somewhere down the road you can still enjoy whatever good memories the relationship gave you. If you continue to stew and be bitter and try to hold onto it, it will be too much bitterness to even enjoy the memories of the good times.
Mrin Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 That's true and this is helping thanks Hey, this is hard stuff. And don't think for a second some of us haven't been squarely in your shoes. I'm embarrassed to say to what extent I've gotten "wrapped around the axle" over a woman in the past. It is going to suck and suck bad. But the absolute best thing you can do is go No Contact with your ex, harbor no ill will towards him (in time) and view this as just another valuable chapter in your past (emphasis on past). I know you're hurting now but in time this too shall pass and you'll be much better for it. Now go read the No Contact guide in my signature line. 1
kendahke Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Also, go to youtube and watch videos by "ask chazz ellis" on no contact. He's got about 4 or 5 of them and they're really good.
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Hey, this is hard stuff. And don't think for a second some of us haven't been squarely in your shoes. I'm embarrassed to say to what extent I've gotten "wrapped around the axle" over a woman in the past. It is going to suck and suck bad. But the absolute best thing you can do is go No Contact with your ex, harbor no ill will towards him (in time) and view this as just another valuable chapter in your past (emphasis on past). I know you're hurting now but in time this too shall pass and you'll be much better for it. Now go read the No Contact guide in my signature line. Well one thing that I did do to move forward was I stopped requesting for him to return my things he said he would return them but never kept his word so I put and end to it and told him I didn't want my things back I forgave him and told him I didn't want to hear from him again he blocked me after I told him that as far as I'm concerned me and him were never in a relationship I guess I just wanted to forget and start new even though it hurt I felt I needed to quit torturing myself reaching out to this person I had to stop doing that to myself I haven't spoken to him since 1
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Just going by what you said he said about pleading with you to move on, I'm guessing you're trying to continue to cling to him. He's done. No one wants someone trying to cling to them once they're finished with the relationship. Now, that doesn't mean certain types of people can't maybe be friends, but not when you have that kind of intensity where you feel so strongly you want him back and keep demanding to be friends or talk or whatever. You can't remain friends with him because you still want him back and he knows it. He's being smart. I'm sorry it's so painful for you and that you feel it came out of the blue, but you have to realize whether or not you did anything wrong, he has a right to decide you're not the one and move on. If you make a clean no contact break from him now and move on and go out with friends and get back in the saddle, somewhere down the road you can still enjoy whatever good memories the relationship gave you. If you continue to stew and be bitter and try to hold onto it, it will be too much bitterness to even enjoy the memories of the good times. At this point I think I just need to forget the only reason why I was still in contact was to get my things since I no longer wish to do that I need to forget him release it and not care about the good times. his previous ex left him over distance the same way he did me while we were together she was messaging him trying to come back into his life saying that she love him he never told her we were together. that's the same one who he never deleted and blocked. yeah I'm better off forgetting him.
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 ^ Gotcha. He's not playing fair, is he? Well, it's possible maybe he learned from that past mistake not to keep women hanging on -- or not. I hope he doesn't have anything you really need that bad. Because to me, it's a bonus when you let them know you so don't want to see them that you are willing to sacrifice your own belongings to keep from seeing them.
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 ^ Gotcha. He's not playing fair, is he? Well, it's possible maybe he learned from that past mistake not to keep women hanging on -- or not. I hope he doesn't have anything you really need that bad. Because to me, it's a bonus when you let them know you so don't want to see them that you are willing to sacrifice your own belongings to keep from seeing them. That's true and he blocked me after I told him to throw my things away and never respond again. I blame myself for trying to make peace with this person as he didn't want peace I thought I was doing the right thing but I guess in his eye leave me alone is what he wanted so I'm fine with that
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 You are the immature one here. Your ex-boyfriend response indicates that you have been harassing him and he can't take it anymore. Mature and balanced people do not do that. They accept the other person has put an end to their relationship and move on. Who cares if he is friends with his ex. He doesn't want to be friends with you, end of story. call it harrassing or not at this point I realized that I allowed my own time to be wasted on this person. Even though it hurt I still made the effort to stop communication and no longer requested to get my things back from him as this was the only reason why I was still in contact with him. he always Saud he would nail my things but didn't keep his word so I put an end to it and took it as a loss and no longer wanted it back. I now see that this whole situation was one big unnecessary headache. even after the breakup up I was fed one excuse after the other the first one being oh let's try the relationship again once I move the same area as you, given this is the same person who foolishly wanted me to quit my military job because he wanted me around him all the time and wanted a long term committment thank God I wasn't stupid enough to do something like that also fed the lies of hey let's be friends and see what happens after we are broken up, not to mention the ex that he never deleted was still messaging him saying she loved him the whole time we were together. when I look at all of this I blame myself for allowing my past and emotions get in the way of thinking logically and avoiding this type of nonsense. I don't want to be with a guy like that and now I realize that
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 I never told him he was a crappy person this is what my friends thought of him but thank you for you blunt response and I never accused him of cheating. salvage my dignity??? you have got to be kidding me salvage your response because it all sounds immature My apologies to you and thank you everyone for your responses
Author NJooo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 You need to provide more information as to your role in the relationship that would drive him away or more concrete clues as to whether he was cheating. There's not enough here to give you an analysis of what went wrong.. Except that he thinks you're crazy or annoying since he told you to leave him alone and refuses to be friends with you. i think if someone said those things to me, I would never ever talk to them again. The fact that you talked to him anyway to tell him he's a crappy person and accused him of cheating on you makes you look even worse in his eyes probably. You still care about this person since you are writing this thread to seek our perspective and advice. All i can say is the relationship is over & the only thing left to salvage is your dignity. Follow the rules of NC (no contact) and show him what he missed by no longer existing in his life (ie. Do not give him any attention). Good luck! My apologies to you thank you for your response and everyone else thank you as well
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