sanne Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Ok so me and the ex had even more drama tonight. I noticed that today and yesterday she's been kind of moody and not very talkative. Now we haven't talked about what we are or our status at all recently. So today I finally ask her what's up, and what the heck is going on between us.....and that's where the drama starts. She tells me that we aren't just FWB's, but we are more than that. She said she doesn't want to get together right now, but she isn't ruling that out for the future. Then, after, she added in a comment about how she wanted us both to be able to date other people eventually and experience new things. She said that we both don't know what we really want and that we should be free to date others. I challenge her on this saying that she is just using me for right now until she finds something better and that i won't do that. She denies it and says it's not even like that. I don't know what to do, I could and prob. should just cut off everything right now, or I could stay with our current arrangement and keep her in my life. The only downside would be if she found someone better than me before i found someone else, i'd prob. be going through more heartache right now. Anyways, from that point on the conversation went to crap really fast and before you know it we're both calling each other names and all sorts of crap. It ends and she is telling me that we just aren't good together at all and that we should prob. never even speak with each other because we just torture each other. I managed to convince her that that wasn't a good idea, and she agreed to see me tomorrow at 3. I'm thinking right now I have a chance to cut this woman out of my life and start fresh, and to start anew. Or I could keep her in my life, and continue to torture myself and hope that she comes back to me someday. Now I know what I must do, but I need some real convincing guys. Help me pull myself out of this relationship before i drag myself into the ground even further.
magda Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 She's a bitch, she's using you, you know what you need to do. What do you need, inspiration to not torture yourself? Don't waste your time. Why keep her in your life? I really think you ought to tell her you don't wish to see her anymore. Maybe someday after she sows her oats and decides she actually wants to date you.
from ND Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 OK, I am not really one to give advice because Im going through your deal in a simalar way, but we ALL need advice right? so here it is.......I went through your deal last year, where I was with girlfriend , we were living together, she says she just wants to be roomates and that she (we) should see other people...she even came up with this Law where if either of us , meets a person, NOT to bring them to the apartment. naturally I was in shock at all of this and felt like I was merely there to pay rent. so.....I moved out, I moved downtown, morning noon and night, all i could think of was her, I actually convinced my self that I would live there at the apartment and watch her date others just to be with heri n the same apt. Crazy huh?,, well, from there it only got worse, I begged her to take me back, she said she NEVER would, and that she needed to have "Guy" friends......my point is, once her mind was made up, the best thing I could have done was walk away, I am currently not with her but recently some new developments have happened, and thats why I ve been posting on here see "what would you do?????????" for my story/. anyhow man, if she doesnt give you a n answer, then all I can say is stay away for NOW, I mean don't disregard her, but dont keep in contact, what this may or may not do is, get her wondering, wonmdering if she made a mistake, but more than anything, when she is alone, or without you, her REAL feelings will come to light, Also, with the "not right now " deal, It may be an indicator of another guy, Im not saying it is cuz I dont know, and dont want to cause you more heartache, but sometimes, thats the deal, maybe she sees someone else and doesnt want to hurt you or maybe she just generally confused. my advice to you for tommorow, is be HONEST with her, tell her your realk feelings then walk away, if you are miserable playing the waiting game, then lay it on the line and move on, tell her you care, but that this relationship is not a game to you, tell her you are moving on, and you do this because you are living life to be content and happy, dont be mean with her but just let her know, take control, and whatever she says, like Its not working out or whatever, maybe agree with her, tell her YOU need time to think. I know your pain, thats for sure, in any event, its important to be true to yourself, If you feel its turning into a game, then cut all ties and walk away, at least you can feel good about being open with her on your feelings, the rest is hers to deal with
flowergirl Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Well, the answer to the question in your post, "Will this drama ever end?" is no. Why? Because you keep lettin' it drag on because you're so desperate to have this girl in your life. I've been through this s*** and the worst thing you can ever do is beg to a person who doesn't give a crap about anything but their own ego and hormones. This girl is sick and she's takin' you with her. If you start to get the urg to talk to her, call a frined, take a walk, write a journal, all those things help. Good luck, man.
from ND Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Yeah, why beg her, forget that!!!!!!!!!!, If I were you, I would just walk away, let her see what she lost, thats what im doing, Life is too short for head games and people who are clingy and greedy, you get what you give in this life, and I guarantee there is someone better out there who will reciprocate the affection and feelings you give to this heartless woman.
Author sanne Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 The problem is that I find myself incredibly lonely in my current situation. I mean all of my roomates are very distant because of some stupid petty fights that have happened previously so nobody really hangs out at all. Plus i've got so much work during the week i find myself constantly alone because of my crazy schedule and i really am starting to get tired of being alone for the majority of the day. I have friends I hang out with during classes and on the weekends, but still I feel so alone a lot of the time. My ex was the one person who I could talk to every day that would just make it a lot less lonely. Now that I have to do NC, that means I'm even more alone than ever before. At this point I don't even think I care about doing NC, I mean I just miss her companionship and she was willing to be friends with me. I dunno, I think i may be strong enough to handle if she goes out with other dudes, i mean me and her have this strange connection where I'm sure that someday in the future we'll get back together again.
BrotherAaron Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Don't trick yourself into thinking that you're strong enough to handle her going out with other guys. You're not. What you're saying is that you are desperate for companionship since your ex has left you. Never let yourself be trampled because you're desperate. Trust me, I was in your situation. My roommates (well my hallmates, anyway) are all friends with her and her new BF - so I didn't have them to go to when I couldn't talk to her anymore. I was incredibly lonely, so I started calling my old friends and family, but that only helped so much because they are miles and miles away. I was going crazy from loneliness and being surrounded by friends who had been advising me with her new BF's best interests in mind all along. I started introducing myself to people in my classes I hadn't met before, and people I'd see around. I finally got invited to a get together where I not only met about 10 guys that I think I'll be hanging out with for the remainder of the semester, I met even more girls that I hope to, um, be surrounded by. The point is - there are other people out there besides your roommates and your ex. Go find them, and hang out with them. Even if you do have a special connection that will bring you two back together "someday", you've gotta realize that, if it's going to happen, it's going to be after you've both moved on and accepted the breakup. If, at that point, you guys both want to try again then you can. For the meantime, however, you need to think and act like she's never coming back. That's the only way to get through this.
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