nightbird101 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Okay dot points here we go girlfriends work friend has partyhe invites her and meshe doesnt want me to comereason: she thinks we wont be spending any time togetheri dont goshe will only know one person at the party (the host)she invites a male friend to go with her Just so you guys have all the information. We've only been dating for 2 months. This is why i dont have much of a problem with this but i am a little bumbed out that she didnt bring me along (dispite i was invited) and brought another male friend along instead (who wasnt invited). Question: is this a problem or just something i shouldnt worry to much about?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Um, if it were me I would be pretty pissed unless there was a really good explanation.
Gary S Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I just wrote this the other day to another poster. No group dates or meeting friends and family for 6 months. The woman is right - again. 2
smackie9 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Why would she go to a party where she didn't know anyone but the host?....sounds like BS to me. And what....she's going to spend all her time hanging out with host?, but brings a friend that would be a complete stranger to everyone? This girl is masking something. 2
Author nightbird101 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) Um, if it were me I would be pretty pissed unless there was a really good explanation. Well there is a pretty good reason Previously i was invited to a friends party of hers and we both went. She has a litke bit of autism (but not enough to be diagnosed). Wen it comes to her introducing friends (aspecially ones she dating). She freezes up and doesnt know what to do and goes silent. I didnt know this at the time. cuz she would be silent to me i just assumed she was pisse off at me, purely because she seemed to act cold towards me all through the night but not others. This would lead to me going "this is bs" and poilitly leave which would piss her off more. So to avoid us running into that problem again I've decided to not go to her friend gatherings. Besides its a bit too soon for that anyway. I did have a talk about it with her and she told me it was all an accident (dot point story. -she asks to her friend 'so are you going to blah blahs party?' -his response 'i wasnt invited' -hers 'oh did you want me to ask if you can come' WOW it sounds bad when i write it out like that yea okay do i have the right to be a bit moody about this? Ps I'm writting this on my iphone 5 so sorry for any spelling mistakes Edited March 18, 2015 by nightbird101
preraph Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 It's too soon to want to "present" you as her boyfriend. That's it. Finito. You can't go to anything like that with anyone without them thinking you're a couple. I found out my boss thought me and my gay boyfriend were serious after the fact. It's also possible she doesn't like the way you act drunk or your general manners, but it's probably just too soon for her to present you. It's way too soon.
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Sorry but you can learn to make introductions. Hi Party Host. This is nightbird101. Very simple. I can maybe see not taking a new BF to a work party but this really wasn't that. It was a party being thrown by a work colleague where all the other guests were not from work. But for her to ditch you in favor of male friend rubs me the wrong way. I'm not saying she's cheating but it's very strange. I would tell her it was not OK & expect that it will not happen again. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 She's not sure about you yet so she doesn't want to take you out and introduce you to people. If it was a week into the relationship I wouldn't be too bothered, as she possibly doesn't like introducing new dates to other people until she's sure it's gonna work out. But after two months I'd be really hurt about that and take it as her not being very invested in the relationship. I got together 'officially' with my boyfriend five days before my birthday, we'd been seeing each other for two or three weeks. I really liked him so I invited him to my party which was quite the baptism of fire as he suddenly had to meet twenty or thirty of my friends, all very curious to meet him, but he did great! Charmed everyone, gave me enough space to enjoy myself but acted the perfect boyfriend, it was awesome as I would have been really nervous if I'd been put in that position with him. But I had a choice... either invite him, who after all I had agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with, or tell him he couldn't come. The latter wasn't even a consideration, it would have been incredibly rude and raised questions amongst my friends as to where this new boyfriend was! However if it hadn't been for that birthday I'd have preferred to wait a while longer to introduce him to people just in case it crashed and burned. But the event was happening so I made the choice. Similar to your gf, this event isn't something she orchestrated, it came up and she did not choose you. Have you met any of her friends or family yet by the way? I'd be wondering if this male friend was actually someone else she was seeing. In those early stages of a relationship you're usually so smitten by one another you can't wait to show them off to others.
katiegrl Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 I just wrote this the other day to another poster. No group dates or meeting friends and family for 6 months. The woman is right - again. Wha? Six MONTHS? Why so long? Not understanding the rationale behind waiting "that" long to meet friends. Family maybe but six months to introduce your guy (or girl) to your friends? Can you explain why...and what purpose waiting that long would serve? OP, I would pull back with this girl. Something's up with her...and it doesn't sound good. Are you sure this male friend is just a "friend"? And her excuse for not inviting you -- she doesn't think you will spend any time together? Makes no sense..and sounds like BS.
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