geronimo Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Its been 4 months since my breakup, recap of my story is my ex broke up our 5 year relationship saying that she can no longer be with me because of our religion, her family was going through alot of things and they knew we were dating now and apparently it created alot of conflict in her house and she no longer wanted to hurt her parents. She has had some health problems since birth and feels guilty for putting her parents through that and doesn't want to put them through even more. Throughout our relationship I would try to make her feel better about it, but i think her parents may have something to do with the guilt trips. One more thing, she didn't have many friends throughout our relationship but over the past year she started making friends in Uni, I had no problem with that and did hang out with a few of them from time to time. I believe they also had something to do with our breakup because my ex told me that they had told her that it seems like our relationship just keeps going in circles because of the family conflict. I always thought we would be able to fight through it, i know other couples of our religious backgrounds that made it work but I guess she just didn't want to fight for it. There had been an incident last year where she met a guy at a university social event who was the same religious background as her and she almost left me for him until she realized he was no good. I knew that should have been a red flag but i forgave her for it and didn't think it would happen again. Anyways I found out that a couple weeks after our breakup she had started dating another guy that she met at that same social event last year and had started to grow closer to him recently. Her new group of friends were also friends with this guy. and he is of the same religious background as her. fml. I had confronted her early on about it and she had told me that it was just a crush and nothing more, but now they're dating. I had begun no contact as of Nov 21, and had only 2 encounters where I spoke to her, 1 in early Jan when i had an ankle surgery and she came to visit (this is when i confirmed they were dating, she said they weren't "official" but w/e) and 2nd on my bday in feb when she sent me a text but i had just said thankyou and nothing else. I started to feel alot better the past few weeks and stopped stalking her and everything a while ago but this past week its been really bad. I miss her every day. i have been stalking her on her social media (Can't see much cuz i have deleted her, but can see anything thats not private). My friends all believe that this is because we were eachother's first love/relationship and since we started dating when she was young (she was 15 i was 17) and didn't get to explore what else is out there and now that she is getting attention she is getting GIGS. Also it probably helped her decision knowing that this guy is the same religion as her. I can't help but think she is the one for me, she is an amazing girl and truly extraordinary. I'm sure everyone says that, especially since she was my first gf, but there were things that happened in our relationship that make me believe we were meant to be. idk i could just be projecting all that but i can't shake it off. I have been in NC and am staying in NC but i keep hoping everyday that she will come back, there isn't anything i wouldn't do to get her back. I thought maybe these feelings would go away over time, but its already been 4 months and she has been with another guy and even though im disgusted that she can move on so fast, i still can't help but want her back. I have been trying to work on myself, school, working out, work, I even went on a date but that just made me feel even worse. The date went well but I just had no interest and made me miss my ex even more. Idk what to do at this point, I feel so helpless. Any words of advice will be greatly appreciated!
AIJ Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Genuinely so thankful my first relationship only lasted 5 months. Can't imagine the pain you're experiencing after 5 years. Unfortunately there isn't really much you can do, you can't talk her in to coming back to you, so best thing to do is to stop stalking her social media and get in to the mindset of 'she's never coming back, I need to move on'. You'll likely slip up a few times with the whole no stalking, I know I did, and there's still a chance I may well do again in the future, but it's become few and far between when I look at her Twitter. Used to be every half an hour. Then every hour. Then every 3 hours. Then once a day. Now I've one through periods of a few days without looking, and I'm hoping I can keep it up now. Best of luck buddy, we're all here for you! 1
Author geronimo Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 Bro, I wish I could go back in time, funny thing was her and I broke up about 5-6 months into the relationship because she was afraid to commit (multiple reasons but I dont blame her, she was only 15). I was so broken back then too but after a couple months she came back and we had no troubles until now. I wish I would have just forgotten her and moved on back then, I wouldn't have 5 years weighing down on me now. Yea i stopped stalking her twitter (cant see anything else cuz her instagram and fb are private) but recently started again. I keep telling myself not to do it but give in, stalk it about twice a day atleast. I'm trying to keep the mindset that she's never coming back but thats scary on its own, thinking someone you had been with for so long and had planned a future together and were so good and compatible with eachother is no longer coming back just f*cks me up, and all over something stupid like religion and shes not even religious -_-
ApexTitanium Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Yup story of my life. I was her first love. Probably GIGS going on. 5.5 years together. I'm so wrecked.....like everyday. My heart breaks as every day passes and she doesn't tell me she wants me back. Were in the same boat my dude.
Author geronimo Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Yup story of my life. I was her first love. Probably GIGS going on. 5.5 years together. I'm so wrecked.....like everyday. My heart breaks as every day passes and she doesn't tell me she wants me back. Were in the same boat my dude. Yea man, how long has it been since you broke up with your ex? It just kills me I was doing good for a few weeks but this week idk what it is, its like I'm back to day one of the breakup. I keep thinking about her and missing her so much and stalking her on twitter. I'm also getting thoughts in my head like she never really loved me and just used me until another guy came along cuz she was insecure and I was the best thing next to nothing. And once another guy came in the picture she didn't hesitate one bit to kick me to the curb and run into his arms. But at the same time neither I nor any of my friends expected this girl to do this. They always thought I would breakup with her instead of the other way around cuz she was so dependant on me. Idk, this all just makes me feel so worthless cuz i gave her my all and it meant nothing to her.
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